The Labrador/Broadwater area was the venue for the Everything Shithouse themed run. Apparently a spin off from the GC Commonwealth Games is the modernisation of the city’s outhouses so that visitors and locals will be able to crap in better surroundings with a higher water flushing speed than the NBN. The old dunnies are being demolished under the cover of darkness in Deen Bros type demolitions so that any historical memories are being flushed away before those who have been known to hang around these places have time to change their modi operandi.
At 6:15 pm, the hare assembled the pack into the new shizenhausen and gave directions for the runners to head south and the walkers north. Dicky Knee and Woodsie offered to stay behind as keg minders and look after bikes, bags, booze etc in case of possible pilferings due to the lack of lighting at that stage of the evening.
As the run proceeded through suburbia, the runners were able to witness the transition evolving in the area as it moves from the bogan Stabrador dog of a name suburb to nouveau upper middle class bogans (well that’s according to the locals picking up near millions for their asbestos ridden fibro “ruo semoh” bargains as developers chop their way through the previous quarter acre blocks and replace them with multi-story walkups. Checks were close to the council latrines scattered across the suburb. The first hasher to the Blood and Urine drink stop was Swollen Colon and was soon followed by BB, Sir Two Dogs, Rug, Missing Link and Miscarriage. Toss Her assisted the hare with the drink stop located near Norm Rix Park. Some how the hare missed the drink stop as he had lead a pack of walkers out along Brisbane Road with Sir Rabbit assisting in getting them home. As often happens these days, the walk is quite often longer than the run on some Monday evenings. A couple of other splinter walk groups had already arrived and were well into the refreshments.
The hors d’oeuvres of cheese filled mini mushrooms were served gastronomical style from the nappy change section of the khazi. Before long the hare had organised the GM to assist in carving and serving the mains of roast and veges. All was quite as hashers got their hot food fuel intake, not quite sure whether it was hygienic but as it was either
eat up or go hungry, most chose the former. Hard On carried over the dessert of home made pastries containing apple, pear, cinnamon,walnuts and coconut. Steaming hot from the oven, they were quickly devoured as the cool winter air started to kick in.
A circle was called , ala, a shithouse gathering formation assembled inside the toilet block.
First up the hares, M’Latrine and Circumference were called out. Miscarriage although enjoying the run through his old stomping grounds of developments and make overs stated the arrows were on the wrong side of the road going away from the traffic forgetting the hare was formerly from the USA where things are done differently as far as driving on the road. In either case as most hashers know perhaps running on the footpath might always be a safer option with some of the rat runners driving on our streets these days. Brutus was very impressed with the nosh.
Visitor Toss Her from the Top End via Botany Bay hash was welcomed with a down down. Taiwan bound Showpony who found his 600 run T-shirt when he finally sobered up from the AGPU was given a down down after accusing the previous committee of forgetting his milestone.
As Slug over dinner had recalled to all of his ANZAC exploits in Turkey many years ago while on a Top Deck /Dick tour of an Instanbul bordhello where he confused love and lust in a Turkish wham bam/thank-you mam encounter with a local, the RA saw the opportunity to call this hasher out for a down down.
Just to scare the living daylights out of any of the homophobic hashers already gathered in a public convenience and still recovering from the Rug/ Hard On bromance photograph, a cross dressing hasher in the group was outed. Again this hasher was also photographed and it appeared in the GC Bulletin. Swollen Colon (who would have thought /) was called out and he advised how difficult it was in trying to get his own bra off compared to getting them off the opposite sex.
The POW holder M’Latrine stepped up to the plate to hopefully offload it to the next winner. In what can only be described as Chief Justice Latrine’s Royal commission into hashers dining and car pool arrangements, a long list of the accused were called up. Somehow it appears to the Chief Justice that splinter groups of hashers are dining together and that is not in the best interests of the whole hash if not all hashers are involved in the event. Then the Northern Alliance car pool was put under the microscope as M’Latrine couldn’t understand how he couldn’t get a guernsey despite living in the same geographical location. However there was no self examination of the well known red wine drinking antics of the Chief Justice who has a long wrap sheet of swilling, spilling, drinking red wine while driving behind the steering wheel, hash event behaviour, airline behaviour to name but a few. As a requirement of the Uber driver standards required by the Northern Alliance car pool, this type of does not cut the mustard of the code of conduct.
Finally after Sir Botcho, Flasher, Rug, Slug, Sir Two Dogs, Circumference, Josephine, GM Rock Hard, Missing Link and Sir Rabbit had been publicly tried unsuccessfully as POW candidates, Sir Rabbit’s role in the Northern Alliance’s licensing requirements got him the POW. After having served a short custodial sentence in one of the cubicles,
the POW elect decided to decline the prestigious award and sent it flying.
And as we all know from what a former PM once said – Shit Happens which was quite appropriate in the environment where the proceedings were held.
In the absence of Moonbeams , many hashers called – End of Circle which abruptly brought to an end of the circle of RPR4.
Yours in hashing