Hare: Josephine & Sir Rabbit
Even before the first arrow was put down for this run, the hash planets had aligned for several weeks to create circumstances to develop the perfect hash storm. Just consider the following chain of events as they stood after the events of the previous week’s Everything Shithouse themed run on the Broadwater.
The carryover POW from run 2019 at Cascade Gardens was M’Latrine.
The hare for run 2020 was M’Latrine. Then in an unprecedented ploy Sir Rabbit blatantly refused his nomination for POW from the hare after emerging from the WC, so the POW stayed officially with the hare. Apparently legal advice had been sought from the home of Mother Hash in KL who just happen to have a hasher named Soup Silk / real name Vijayhotlaksa Saringgitt whose daytime job is a QC when he is not running around the Malaysian jungle as to knowledge of any hash constitutional precedents similar to the current stay of proceedings brought about after the abrupt end to the circle on the previous Monday evening..
The co-hare for run number 2021 was Sir Rabbit who chose the same park(Labrador’s Norm Rix park) as the venue where M’Latrine had his drink stop on the previous week’s run and M’Latrine still was the carryover POW.
Would these hashers hug and make up (another hash bromance in the making ) over a glass of red or would it all end up in tears ?
So it was with eager anticipation hashers focused on this blockbuster Monday evening with the possibility that the circle ratings would be better than most television executives would even dream of where snippets of juicy morsels of previews are offered up to bait viewers for a week in advance of the screening.
At 18:15 , Josephine gave instructions on “the best well marked suburban run ever set in Labrador” and the runners led by Rug and the walkers under instruction from Sir Slab headed off in their respective opposite directions. It wasn’t long before a couple of false trails started splitting up the pack with Flasher ending up in the dog park, then attempting to get through the back of the Commonwealth Games Village construction site. Near Southport Sharks AFL club, the trail crossed the road over to the soccer fields, then near Point Two’s old place for a clayton’s drink stop and wound back and forth around the myriad of paths that now encompass the suburb which is handy when you are lost or pissed or both in finding your way out. BB lead the pack at the back end of the run along the creek, closely followed by Miscarriage and M’Link.
Soon all were back for happy hour drinks and as booze prices continue to tumble and hashers guzzle like V8’s prompting one to say – It’s just like the 1970’s all over again with these prices. Seedy’s appearance filled the void left by the absence of one of better red wine guzzlers and he was assisted by Hard On as fresh bottles of red were cracked regularly through the evening.
As Sir R was stewing the nosh, a soup kitchen line up of hungry hashers began a chorus to get a warm feed. Soon their wishes were granted and Chilli Con Rabbit was served. As we enjoyed the nosh , Weekly remarked that although he had missed out on the corn chips entrée, he was enjoying the gum leaves that accompanied the main.
When he was told the corn chips came with main, he got the full menu for seconds. Next up for dessert were cheese cakes and that southern Gold Coast local favourite –
known by them as Kirramasu .
As the farting from the spicy nosh started to kick in, the GM called a circle and the hares were called out. Sir R again stumped all with yet another refusal, this time knocking back his down down because of a broken tooth. Fanny C rated the run as a bloody brilliant 7.1 klm effort. Weekly’s critique on the nosh was – Good Work. Perhaps a television role maybe is in the offering on Masterchef for Weekly with his obvious culinary talents on spotting gum leaves as the side or even as a stand-in for Kenny Koala at Dreamworld when he needs a break.
Iceman was asked to give the visitors – Seedy, VD and Blue Card a note for their down downs. It seems as though regular hashers only have to go for a piss for 5 minutes these days and you become a visitor. Our real visitor for the second week in a row, Toss Her, is settling in well on the GC by visiting various Gold Coast hashes. Fanny C also dragged a virgin along but as he had to go home early, he missed his first circle.
When the RA stepped out, he called Flasher to explain where his solo run went. Flasher claimed he got lost in the Labrador forest, now that’s a real mystery as to its whereabouts . Most hashers didn’t even realise that such a forest existed somewhere so close to suburbia. Miscarriage, upon running past Point two’s former residence, recalled the good old days when while Air BnB-ing with Point Two he used to share his lodgings with the Labrador labrador, Sharnee (RIP). Apparently between the farting and snoring, both of them would get a reasonable night’s rest.
Showpony soon to become Gavan the Sixth when he goes down the aisle again after just lightening his wallet from a previous marital encounter was given a hash note from Moonbeams. Apparently he is thinking of buying his new bride a house as a wedding present as a down payment for any possible exit strategy that may arise if the next union fails in his next Far East love story. Miscarriage also gave a farewell to our resident lothario, Showpony, who apparently has been doing the rounds with his neighbours in after dark farewells around his local marina.
The Phantom called out M’Link for his lycra riding apparel which highlights the word Warriors, the known name of one the outlawed bicycle gangs that some hashers have been flirting with and attracting police attention because of the VLAD laws when they speed through the northern suburbs in the early hours some mornings. M’link made it quite clear that he did not wish to be associated with such an organisation and that they should be renamed and called Wankers instead.
Weekly who was sprung by the RA for having a piss near the BBQ while the hare was cooking the nosh with the toilets about 25 metres away was next to be called into the circle for a down down.
All the lead up to the POW stage evaporated in the absence of M’Latrine but as Miscarriage had rescued the POW from the dunny, he stepped in as M’Latrine’s proxy.
He told the story of 3 hashers on tour who decided to have a flutter on a Laotian filly named Lollita by boxing a trifecta with the numbers 8,10 and 12. Next day over breakfast, they checked their numbers and found that they had all been winners. No one knew who had came first,second or third but all agreed that the outcome of their investment had resulted in a nice juicy box tri. As Brutus was the first to ask about the outcome of their investment over breakfast next morning, he was declared the winner and awarded POW. In a sterling effort , he knocked over the half yard down down without any spillage.
With Moonbeams back in the fold, he remembered his lines and closed the evening’s events and so endith RPR5.
Yours in hashing