With much anticipation and some trepidation, hashers assembled in Nerang for the final leg of the week’s trifecta of hashing on the GC. Would the hare in the Chinese year of the Rooster, make sure that the cock stood up proud and strong or would the event just be a slack soft cock-up ?  The hare had promised a Chinese New Year celebration like no other and in a week where hashers had already hydrated, masticated, been titillated. enjoyed gourmet, and  further lubricated on strong drink, the bench mark had been set fairly high. There had also been optional activities for hashers like running, walking, swimming and golfing and had been given a hash free day off on Australia Day to either party privately or rest for the next events.

So when the hare arrived and gave instructions, the pack headed off towards Nerang Forest. There were checks, arrows, flour and false trails but no one was quite sure whether they were on a short run or a long walk but the main thing everyone was on some well marked trail which eventually lead back to the venue.

Chilled Coronas and very hot spring rolls were the go before the circle. The GM called out the hare and Miscarriage told all that as he was lost in the forest so he had followed Iceman home after taking several false trails. Weekly considered the walk very clever. Next up were the returning hashers who missed run 2050  – Miscarriage (on an itchy Cambodian getaway), Blackie (ski-ing somewhere), Aussie(got his email messages mixed up), Jigsaw (having a $15 veal at Melba’s in Surfers) and Ball Point (recc-ing his own run on a hash night). The new shoes brigade – Jigsaw, Miscarriage and Kitchen Bitch were soon drinking in the circle.

The RA took over and out came Ball Point again due to some dodgy offer of employment e mail doing the rounds from some sheila with the same surname as the hare. She is offering a full months salary for half a months work and a full month’s work for a half month’s salary once you give your bank account details to this Nigerian scammer. Apparently not many job applicants so far.  An update from the Hospital rounds mentioned the health issues of  Showpony, Fuller Shit and BB. Current POW, Swindler, called out a few nominations as decoys for the real POW, the thirsty Jigsaw for a free return fishing trip to Gladstone. Sir Slab charged Nasty for forgetting his Cleats/Clits ? while attempting a long hash bike ride over the weekend.

At the conclusion of the circle, the hare directed all to the Chinese restaurant upstairs where several courses were consumed once you had filled up your portion control dining bowl. Quaffing red wines were then passed around the tables to wash down the tasty chicken and beef dishes. The hare made sure the dishes got spread around all the tables so everyone got a feed.

All up , Ball Point’s Chinese New Year run had kept the week’s hashing activities up to the standards set by the previous activities of the week. However the standard of promised Chinese big titted girls left a bit to be desired, although the new Chinese 2017 calendar had a few reasonable bodies in it.

Last but by no means least, how could we not forget a big cheerio to our GC hashers in the UK  on their very public OUTING photo at the recently held first ever LBGTI Interhash H3 ball. That ‘s the political correct name for what we all know was the Lesos and Poofter’s Anonymous Sleaze Hash.

A little old lady in Darwin, tired of getting ripped off at the petrol bowser and the supermarket finally had enough when one of her life’s little luxuries went up in price much more than the CPI increase, so it caused her to jump on the telephone and rang a number which put her through to her local cop shop. She advised that she wished to complain about her local dealer putting up the price of her weed. When the person on the other end started asking questions which would result in some pretty self incriminating answers, our little old lady suddenly hung up !

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE