Date: 30th April 2018……………………………..
Location:Surfers Paradise ………………………
Your loving and caring committee had been working for months on getting ready for the best AGPU ever. We knew that our term was coming to an end and some were reluctant to give it up. Where shall we have the event? Seeing that the venue last year was banned due to Flasher plastering stickers everywhere, it was really a quandary. However, after much research, and visiting potential venues up and down the coast, one was finally found. Working out what to put into the goody bag proved to be another interesting effort. So many things to choose from. Did hashers want another t-shirt or pair of shorts? Some items looked great but were far too expensive; it would cripple the hash funds. After all, next committee would like to have some funds in the coffers!
It was to be an early start at 5:00 pm with everyone meeting up on the roof top Neal Shannon Park at the Bruce Bishop car park. For the first time ever, I was early and first to be there. I sat down at a bench in the usual gathering area and watched the girls’ volleyball teams across the play field, and a game of soccer nearby. Finally, about 4:30 I saw this lone figure ambling towards me. I thought, wow, Fuck All would have been first to arrive if I wasn’t there. We sat and chatted for a while and looked across the play field. A few leggy blonds strolled by, not that we were staring. Soon more hashers stared drifting in. About 5 pm the eskies came. Hash Cash Jigsaw sat down opposite me and started taking cash. Only $20 tonight, says he. About 5:30 Jiggy disappears and reappears with about 20 boxes of pizza. A bit later we saw a security guard come over to us and let us know that alcohol was not allowed in the park. So, we adjourned to outside the park at the end of Alison Street and continued with drinking and chatting. A good number of hashers turned up; including some I had not seen for years. AGPU must bring them out of the woodwork.
After a while Jiggy calls out for everyone to follow him to the next venue for a drink stop. We ambled to Surfers Paradise Boulevard, then along Cavil Ave to the Gringo Loco Cantina for a beer. One would have thought that they were not ready for us and they hastily started pouring glasses of beer. They had reserved an area for us on the pavement outside the bar, plenty of tables.
Next, we went through the courtyard back to Orchid Avenue and into the Meter Maids bar. A few got in and were quickly hustled out. Not sure if this was the next venue, but maybe someone forgot to mention that it was closed on a Monday, and no Meter Maids around. What a disappointment. Was it a fuck up or someone playing a joke? Will we ever find out? Blue Card and Jiggy will have some answers.
So, we continued to the next venue, Gilley’s which wasn’t far. Here the staff also seemed unaware and were furiously filling glasses. Poor Hard On was standing outside chatting to a couple of guys at a table. He was off booze due to serious medication he was taking and under very strict instructions from his GP or he may lose a few organs. Somehow, he got the message.
About 7 pm we wondered down into the Tandoori Place, and into the bowels of the earth. Felt like we were going down two or three flights of stairs and finally ended up in a large room with tables and chairs all set out. At least someone was expecting us and all ready. Scarlet was also ready and waiting for us. A quick replacement for the unwell Chrissy. She was introduced by Botcho, much to the disgust of the GM who wanted to get close to her. Rules about photography, then with formalities over, she become very informal stripping down to her skimpy black lace undies.
There was a head table set out for hierarchy, last chance to get some benefits. A chair was placed at the top table, in front of GM, for Scarlet. He was busy fondling her boobs, but her back was to the hashers. Anyway, she got up and started mingling with hashers at other tables, no doubt getting more cuddling and fondling.
There was plenty of wine for every table, and beers provided by the restaurant. Starters were onion bhaji and chicken bits. Main was a selection of beef, lamb, chicken and probably vegetable curries. There was dessert, but I didn’t have any so can’t comment.
After everyone had eaten, GM walked over to where the goody bags were stashed. He enlisted Scarlet to call out names and hand out a goody bag, along with a big hug, to each hasher. Seemed to be a bit of a mix up with a couple of hashers not getting their bag, sure Jiggy will remedy that soon. We heard that one bag fell and the bottle of red wine inside broke spoiling a few bags. The goody bag was a backpack, and inside was a bottle of red wine, a bottle opener, a head light, an embroidered t-shirt and a M4 Smart Bracelet, Fit Bit like. Apparently, it will tell you if you are asleep or awake, alive or dead, and if you have a heart.
Now to the awards.
- Worst Nosh went to Wrongway
- Best Nosh to both KB for his tunnel run extravaganza and to Sir Prince Valant
- Best Run went to Swollen Colon
- POW of the year to Flasher for him misdemeanour at last year’s AGPU
- Hash Man of the year to Jigsaw
- Only one Webmaster, Botcho got a big hug from Scarlet with a bit of a wiggle from the hips.
Lastly, the new Committee.
- Hash Scribe/OnSec went to Fuck All
- Trail Master went to Magician
- Hash Cash – Hal Al (he was practicing last week)
- Trailer Master went back to Truckie, I think he loves that trailer.
- Booze Masters are S-Bends and Now Loved
- Religious Adviser RA went to Sweat Hog
- New GM is Weekly
- Lastly Hash Flash went to Brewtus
Remember, no need to use [email protected] if you have a story for RA and more, he won’t reply and will ignore you. Wait to next RA to set up a system for dobbing in.
One thing I did enjoy was setting the Hash Rally in March. Truckie did an excellent job also in suggesting some of the best locations to go through. Maybe hash can consider making this an annual event.
Although I was suckered into my role by Blue Card not long after the last AGPU, it has been an interesting experience. I tried to include the trail, the nosh, everyone who contributed to down downs and who was called to sing a note. I thank Circumference for filling in when I was away, and I occasionally got Sweat Hog, who I replaced, to do a couple of reports. Each has a different approach and style. Thanks also to Botcho for posting the words. Also, the Committee, which in true hash tradition, is run by a few and supported by the others in their roles. On On to the next Committee.