Date: 28 th May 2018…………………………….
Location: Ashmore …………………………………
The knights rugby leagues club on Benowa road
On a night that looked a little bit on the bad weather side it turned out ok.
And looking at the pre lube I thought to myself
Fuck I’ve never seen so many new hashers,and the beers have gone up to $4.99 Blackie was doing his normal warm up with his west coast eagles beanie on, miscarriage was introducing his hash friends from Kansas City to everyone ,two dogs was looking anxious and was about to say what time does this hash start when GM weekly called Jigsaw up to try and explain his run / walk/ crawl / fuck it I’m staying here to look after the hashers that are staying here as well
Around 30 eager hashers and guests decided that they should venture out to see what Jigsaw could conjure up in the way of a run / walk / crawl / fuck it I’m staying hash night
Jigsaw made it quite clear that it was a figure 8 configuration for the runners and a 1/2 figure 8 for the walkers and he didn’t give a fuck about who was crawling or who was staying back to look after the esky, Jigsaw then went on to say that there was only one hill for everyone to negate and that that hill was just over there in the direction of the ON ON
Oh but wait up there just before you go!!!! Sbend has something to tell you all , Sbend then said something about birthday beers and paying something into one container and not the other container that is for the real beers and don’t swap them over as they need to reconcile where the monies are from and that there’s not enough birthday beers to go around so only have one and not two , to which everyone nodded in agreement and in unison said happy birthday Sbend and thanks for the beers
Then 3 Klm for the walkers and 6 klm for the runners Jigsaw announced as we ran into the darkness
Being part of the running group ( true hashers ) and not giving a shit about who was walking or crawling
we were off and running up that one hill that Jigsaw told us was the only hill we would encounter on our run this evening!!!!
Well six hills later and six runners still running like gazelles that were being chased by a pack of cheetahs; we came to the end of the first circle of the figure 8 configuration and were looking forward to the second loop that was supposed to go in the anti clock wise direction as a figure 8 would normally go , but in true hash form that only hashers can Phaethon Jigsaw decided to do another clockwise loop that had us all thinking what the fuck is going on ? It was actually a cassette run and Jigsaw was probably thinking to himself and thinking to himself and thinking , what a great figure 8 run that was ! if I was to score the run I would be thinking figure 8 ; 6 klm s meet you half way score of 7
After the nosh The circle was called by GM Weekly
Asked to report on the run, returning runner Swollen Colon went on as if it was the run of the year ,great concept,great markings , not to far ,not to Long, exactly 6klms as stated , no rain , no wind , no snow , no pizza , no injuries.
I think Swollen knew Jigsaw had brought with him the coveted run of the year trophy and he was paying Jigsaw back with compliments.
The GM then found it difficult to find a hasher to give a nosh report ,not sure why because Jigsaw went beyond his imagination to come up with a nosh menu that was truely fit for our gourmet hashers , corn fritters topped with avocado, chicken thighs with lashings of coriander flavoured salad ,roasted beetroot and the roasted pears I am sure was a first for most of us this followed up by desert of yogurt and raspberries
Finally Dish licker was coax away from the smokers corner to report on the nosh but found it hard to give an unbiased report on the grounds of ? Sir Rabbit chipped in and said he loved the greens but thought it lacked carrots,Brengun and sir Rabbit gave dish licker a note
Down downs to returning runners and visitors also fuller shit and Harry from the knights got to drink the potion that sbend and poxy are brewing
Presentations of 2 left over trophy’s from the AGPU were presented to firstly swollen colon for run of the year which was very well received by swollen as his 3 mins 19 seconds acceptance Speech came from the bottom of his heart and just as the tears were starting to well up in his eyes after thanking everyone that helped him achieve this very special award, he was booed off the stage and given a down down
The trophy for worst nosh of the year was to woodsy ( not present again )
But after an over ride by phantom and an insult towards The GM for looking after his mates Sir Botcho received a down down and the worst nosh trophy
RA Two dogs had charges ready but 3 of the hashers that were to be charged were not present, Caustic ,magician ,and carefree can wait
Miscarriage charges Botcho for a light infringement
Hard on had the prick on and call on Sbend ,Aussie and Blackie as Potentials but as quick as he got them out he sent them back and awarded the prick of the week to arch villain Jigsaw for not wearing a helmet and something to d with a black marker to make him look like he was wearing a helmet
Booze masters report from Sbend was to shed some light on what to expect or not to expect from the booze masters who control what and how much we drink each week , there were cry’s of buy some more beer that would be good and we don’t give a fuck as long as it red and wet from the winos and it wouldn’t happen on my watch from Josephine , Sbend stood his ground and announced there will be change – no more drinking fucking crap beer ,no more drinking crap wine , quality is what this hash deserves and quality is what we are going to have and plenty of it ,take this Pilsner for example it’s the best money can buy and we are going to stock fucking heaps of it for you all to drink and drink and who the fuck is Don and it’s all about intention and interesting drinks up to $3 and I stand here saying let’s make hash great again
Next weeks run
ICEMAN — not quite there yet but decides this is good time to tell that bird in the freezer joke
The esplanade opp Errol ave Paradise point
Best check it out on the hash web site or on there stork a book page
It’s more birthday beers next week compliments of our GM Weekly
Theme will be state of origin maroon or blue
GM left us all in deep thought with a quote from Winston Churchill
YOU WILL NEVER REACH YOUR DESTINATION IF YOU STOP AND THROW STONES AT EVERY DOG THAT BARKS
Are you allowed to throw stones at dogs ?
Where was I going ?
Is that only when my destination Is that church on the hill ?
I don’t even own a dog !
What about cats ? I hate cats
Who the fuck is Winston
Note to self – must go to hash more
I think Josephine closed the circle on what was a great evening organised by the hare Jigsaw and who ever else may have helped
Ps , Geez Sbend got mentioned quite a bit in the words but it was his birthday I think
if you have read these words you and your partner are invited to Swollen colons 60th birthday celebrations to be held at the Benowa bowls club starting at 7pm on the 30th of June Text 0408185229 to accept