Date: 4th March2019……………………………
Location: Elanora …………………………………
Much to KB’s delight, the hare, Caustic Crusader, chose a venue deep in KB’s postcode for this birthday event. Once all of the trailers contents had been emptied into the shelter , the hare’s and booze masters instructions were given and runners/walkers set off knowing they were probably in for a tough slog around the local terrain.
It didn’t take long till the first hill was encountered but after that it was pretty well plain sailing, a surprise relief to all. The hare had been very kind with a reasonable distance and time of both well marked trails. Sir Prince Valiant, another hasher celebrating his 70th birthday, produced a large esky chocker full of cold iced down Crownies.
These were going off like stripper’s knickers especially at the cheap gold coin donation price.
Caustic and KB commenced serving the tasty nosh and some of the regular front of the queue starters missed the jump as they were so engrossed in enjoying the cold Crownies.
All agreed it was nice and spicy curry and many lined up for seconds. Just to cool things down chocolate cake and ice-cream were next up for dessert. At the decree of the GM, the tables and chairs were relocated back to the trailer in readiness for the circle. In accordance with the GM’s protocol/agenda all returning runners and visitors were called into the circle.
Arse Up (now in WA), Bunker wearing his NSW Cockroach shorts and visiting the GC for the hare’s birthday, Carefree(Sydney) and Sir Slab /Sir Two Dogs (NZ) all received a down down. The latter pair presented at a great expense a postcard from NZ/s 90 Mile Beach to the GM. Caustic as hare was next in and arrived to receive rave reviews about everything he had been involved with. However as he dropped a disparaging remark in the GM’s direction on the way in to the circle, out came the ice.
As he sat there trying to explain how he had forgotten to bring some birthday beers a chocolate cake suppository was almost inserted into his rectum just as reminder for next time.
The RA then cleaned up proceedings and claimed he had swollen a gutful of insects while on the run. He invited charges from the floor and up stepped Sir Two Dogs with a few newspaper stories about Lawyer X Fanny and a client loosing his $11 grand Porsche car-key, a Truckie’s fear of Yowis and Miscarriage waiting for a Carlton AFL flag.
Incumbent POW Foxtrot, normally known as man lost for words, not his eloquence then delivered the best circle oratory you will ever hear in this hash as he prepared to transfer the POW to the next victim. He remarked how well the trail had been marked with lots of toilet paper and flour.
However he said he drew the line, especially when he found a whole lot of it had been put on a grave of a much loved family dog. A shattered Caustic, who by this stage was thinking he couldn’t take a trick on his own run then stepped forward for his efforts and was rewarded with the POW.
The GM produced his sword and announced that a hash naming was about to take place. Frenchman Pepi la Pou was given a shirt and as he arose, the GM shortened his name to Pepi. It was mentioned that Miscarriage’s great mate Phil’s life was now over and having reached 96, it had been a great innings (RIP).
The GM’s Sir Winston’s quotes went straight over our heads as they were about as clear as mud especially the bit about something happening in the lion’s mouth.
Pepi was invited to close the circle and he did so in French.
Just in closing, spare a thought for Caustic’s evening which he would have pondered over a drink when he got home. He sets good trails and gets rave reviews about them and the nosh.
However for his all his efforts, the hare ended sitting up on the ice, almost had a chocolate cake suppository inserted while there and to top if off got POW. All this on his birthday run.
As an ex PM once said – Shit happens !
CIRCUMFERENCE(for Fuck All who is again on well earned RnR, a bit like Magician’s committee role which is pretty close to that hasher’s name)