Date: 23rd April  2018……………………………..
Location: Highland Park …………………………
Runners:37………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

It is not often there is a GM-set run during the year, but it is the only way to make sure he sets a run before he skedaddles off to Europe for a few months. There was limited parking up the driveway near the house, but somehow Truckie got the trailer up there. I wondered how he was going to get it back down. Most hashers parked on the road and climbed up the steep driveway groaning and moaning. GM (or delegated to Truckie) had set up the tables and chairs on a flat grassy area near the house. There seemed to be a lot more hashers milling around, maybe it was the excitement of end of year, and wondering who was taking over next week.

At 6:14 GM called hashers together around him, and promptly handed over to the acting delegated hare, Magician, who gave pretty precise instructions, then pointed up the hill into the bush. This wasn’t running country and everyone walked in single file. We skirted some houses and got onto what looked like an old asphalted access road. There were chalk arrows at any flat surface. The trail followed the track behind the houses on Tera Vista Boulevard, then finally on the road back to Armstrong Way and Ben Lomond Drive back to GM’s house.

GM had plates of pepper crackers and chorizo sausage and cheese cubes on the tables, and dips. Delegated Hash Cash HalAl was taking cash for subs tonight, maybe a hash cash in waiting, we will see.

Seeing as this was the last regular hash of the year, I was expecting a gourmet hash “nosh of the year” and sure enough, out came the snags, unbuttered bread slices, packaged mashed potatoes and some other mush, and a variety of three sauces. GM seemed to have delegated other things also as Fanny was busy stirring pots in the kitchen. He was probably trying to save the evening.

GM could hardly call himself out as hare, so Prince stepped in and took over proceedings temporarily. GM stepped into the circle. Delegate hare Magician also stepped in. Somehow the theme changed to colonoscopies as both GM and Magician were due to have one tomorrow. Then Brewtus stepped in, he was having one also. They were supposed to be on a strict diet, so Josephine served up a weak down down for them. Swindler gave a note.

GM asked if any visitors were present, Canadian Pylon stepped in. Was this a mistake? He gave a commendable hash version of My Favourite Things before his down down.

Ball Point made a mistake of muttering something about procedure which annoyed the GM and was brought in for trying to usurp the GM. Nothing unusual. Fanny gave a note.

Returning runners were Woodsy, Miscarriage, Fuck All, AH, VD, and Poxy. Slug gave a note.

Miscarriage narrated a story about the outback from Canada.

Ferrett received a prize.

Finally a run report, Brewtus said it was well marked.

S-Bends stepped in to give a joke about samples. Canadian Pylon gave another song.

RA told a story about his travels to the Great Ocean Road.

Miscarriage was asked about recent damage to a new vehicle, Magician gave a note surrounded by 4-wheel drivers.

POW Slab stepped in a called a few nominations.

• Carefree for texting Slab on a bike ride.
• Shat for going over the handle bars on the bike.
• Truckie for forgetting his bike and helmet on the bike ride.
• STD for spending over $400 each on a dinner.
• Josephine for slagging the Kiwis on their 35 to zero win rate against the Wallabies in rugby games.

Josephine got the drink.

Hash gave a minutes’ silence to departed mates.

Next run, AGPU and new committee. I have been noticing recently some very verbose and eloquent writings, all the markings of a proficient new scribe. Who will it be?

No need to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA. Wait to next RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 20th April  2018……………………………..
Location: Gold Coast ……………………………..
Hashers:70………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

What a great Fun Event! Seventy Hashers from  Australia, Canada and Scotland. The celebrations started with a food and beer and wine marathon at Costa D’oro Surfers Paradise ,then on to Landsdowne Road for a Guinness Down Down.

The main event took place at Burleigh Heads. Drinking started at 12 noon, a gourmet lunch was followed  by a torturing run and walk set by Sir Slab, Sir Blackstump and Now Loved.

One and half hours later and after more beer and wine Grand Master for the day, Caustic Crusader assisted by Hash Choir Girls Tail and Flower, handed out downs downs.

Saturday night we all gathered at the Burleigh Heads Surf Club  for more wine, dinner and dancing. Great food was on the menu and more wine and beer, not sure when I got to bed!

We were all back bright eyed and bushie tailed next morning for a bike ride for the over achievers and a beach walk for most.

KB and his helpers then served a gourmet breakfast.

Caustic, and his team of helpers – Sir Ferrett, Slug and Sir Botcho  were all thanked for a GREAT well organised weekend.

Good byes were said and it was on home.

Many thanks to all that attended, you guys made this weekend a success.

Cheers and On On

Old Bastard

Date: 16th April  2018……………………………..
Location: Labrador ………………………………….
Runners:29………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

I got to the location and parked nearby, and strolled up with my hash bag in hand, but as I approached I sensed something wrong. Yes, there was a crowd of boisterous people, nothing new here, but then there were sounds of women and children. I stopped half way and looked. A table was spread out with food and drinks. Shall I or not. I decided to miss out on a free meal and turned back to the car. Where in the hell was the hash, it was already 6:10, so I drove up the road a bit further, nothing. I drove back down until I noticed a lonely Weekly sitting forlornly on a bench, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. I parked and asked him where everyone was as it was not 6:15 yet. He said everything was fucked up. That crowd had taken over the BBQ area that Circumference wanted, hashers had set off early to try to pick up trail, and he just pointed south. I didn’t see any runners, walkers, nothing. So I headed down, and further down looking for signs. I knew Circumference usually sets well marked trails. Little did I know that the trail went west and north. I went down past Smith Street then turned back and followed the highway back towards Central Avenue.

Behold, I found my first arrows, and there, coming towards me, were three hashers. We walked back to the bench where I had seen Weekly. The crowd was still at the original site. When all the hashers were back we walked down to the BBQ area and sat at a nearby table hoping that the crowd would leave soon. The ladies walked over to us with plates of food and deserts. They were feeding the homeless, and thought we might be wanting. They did these free dinners to homeless every week at different locations with food purchased with contributions from their workmates, how good is that.

They were not using the BBQ and allowed Circumference to start cooking his food, Truckie and a few others helped out.

Once the girls left we moved into the enclosure. GM decided to have the circle first, food later as it would not be ready. He called out the hare and asked Blackie for his comments. Boring as hell, says he, but well marked. There was no nosh report, but Weekly said he saw it raw, and it looked good.

STD was called out as he had been volunteering for the Commonwealth Games. STD said nobody was listening to him, especially Peter Beattie, who had not even called to say sorry. Slug gave a note.

Magician was asked how he got his name, but he was keeping that under his hat, Shat gave a note. He said that Magician had been called Stump Whore (or something like that).

Ball Point was called out for drinking beer out of a plastic bag.

No charges from the floor.

RA gave a joke about a goat being dropped down a mine shaft being tethered to a sleeper, by two idiots trying to find out how deep the hole was.

Returning runners were Phantom, Hard On, Swindler, Shat, Sir Ferrett, Sir Slab, and HalAl. Prince gave a note.

Something about Weekly and HalAl losing bags, RA took the rap and had a drink. Weekly gave a note.

Ball Point was brought out for savaging poor Pizza and not having any empathy for him. Swindler gave a note.

Swindler had a charge as he had been finding graffiti on the farm saying “Two Dogs was here in 1918”. STD got a drink, Swindler gave a note.

GM stepped back in asking for announcements.

Caustic spoke about the Commie Games, last chance for late comers.

Commie Games splinter lunch at Costa D’Oro

S-Bends gave a true story about pumping water in Africa.

POW was Ball Point, he had been waiting weeks for this opportunity, and had some nominations.

STD was called out for not having enough food at the previous week’s hash.

Circumference for photographing a poor Scotsman runner lying on the road in agony.

Sir Slab for promising Ball Point a second hand air conditioner, BP hiring a trailer, and getting a phone call from Slab saying that someone else was actually first to claim and cancelled BP. Slab got the POW and Ball Point gave a note.

GM called end of circle and everyone dashed over to get steaks, snags, bread rolls and a variety of sauces.

One more hash to AGPU, who will get the quill?

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA. Last chance.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 9th April  2018……………………………..
Location: Paradise Point ………………………..
Runners:21………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

Date: 2nd April  2018……………………………..
Location: Miami ……………………………………..
Runners:23………………………………………………
Run Pictures…………………………………………….

Slug set the run from near his home in Miami. Hashers gathered at the shelter at the end of Santa Monica Road where it joins Marine Parade. There was a shelter with two tables and benches, and lights. One table was occupied by a family, so we hoped they would finish a leave soon. As it was a public holiday, the run started at 5:00 pm, no need for torches tonight. The hare gathered everyone and gave instructions to the runners and walkers, saying it was a short run. I set off with a small group of walkers south along the concrete footpath alongside the beach. We went up the stairs near the Lores Bonney Lookout, then continued south past North Burleigh Surf Club. After about 20 minutes we turned around and retraced our steps.

Back at the shelter, Slug had put dips, crackers and tacos on the tables. After a beer or two, he started serving out the main course of Bolognese, noodles and grated cheese. This was followed by sticky date pudding with ice cream and caramel sauce. Did Slug really prepare this? Pussy’s sticky date pudding was mentioned several times.

GM called the hare into the circle. Caustic and Truckie commented on the sticky date. Prince said the Bolognese was better than Blackies. Bent Banana said the trail was well marked, but could have had more checks. It was longer than a short run, but it was a good run. Nasty was called in as helper on his bike as a stand in for the hare. He and Slug had a drink, note, of sorts, from Weekly.

Caustic commented on Weekly’s fucked knees.

Fuller was asked about the drones, but they have been put away. Danger of them being shot down. Caustic gave a note.

Visitor was Mister D, brought by Bent Banana. BB gave a note.

Circumference gave a report on the Blue Moon hash over the weekend orgainsed by Ball Point. There was some confusion about which pony club was the meeting point, as some mixed hashers went to the wrong place. Some thought it was an April Fool prank.

Caustic announced the Comm Games hash event and encouraged hashers to attend for $45. About 60 were registered, but a distinct lack of GCH3 hashers.

Prince announced that Miscarriage was going to Las Vegas for 2 weeks.

RA called for stories. Prince told of Miscarriage and wife going to Prince’s house, and when leaving, stepped in dog shit. It was all over the car pedals and carpets, and it took Miscarriage weeks to get it cleaned up.

RA called Blackie in for the huge hole in his shorts.

Prince had another story about Miscarriage and a dog in Melbourne and taking a dog home after an operation before it was fully recovered. The dog woke up and sprayed shit all over the car and Miscarriage. Jigsaw gave a note.

GM called Jigsaw for 300 runs, cap to come, and Circumference for 800 runs. Botcho gave a note.

Prince called end of circle.

Three more hashes to AGPU, who will get the quill?