Date: 30th October 2017………………………….
Location: Southport……………………………….
Runners:18…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

Hang on; a 5:00 pm start? WHY? When was the last time we had a 5:00 pm start on a normal hash day, not a holiday? Never before! Rumours abounded that Carefree had to get back to the rest home before the doors closed at 7:00pm and some of these centres had very strict rules. Someone had to tuck him in.

I got to the park just south of the Southport Surf Club just after 5:00 pm. Peter was the only person there looking after the eskies. He said that everyone had set off early. WHY? There was a change of venue, and with an early start one would have thought leave a bit later in case of stragglers. Swollen and Fuller arrived after me on bicycles saying they had not seen Botcho’s email earlier this morning about the change of venue, and had been waiting at the original site at Macintosh Island.

Anyway, Peter told me that everyone headed north and I found the trail along the concrete footpath. Arrows were fairly clear and there were a few checks. I decided to take a detour (false trail) along the beach for a few hundred metres, then got back onto the pathway. Went up past the Sheraton to the end of the concrete. About 40 minutes altogether, that was ok. Got back to the park and everyone was already back.

Carefree had some bags of peanuts (in the shell) on the table, and he was busy at the BBQ cooking up the burgers, to go along with the coleslaw and potato salad, followed by ice cream, cake, caramel sauce, and jelly snakes for dessert. I noted Fuck All over one side carefully making mental notes for his POW award later.

GM called the circle, and immediately announced that two hashers did not pay their dues for the run last week. Jigsaw stepped forward into the circle, then GM himself! GM gave themselves a down down. Swindler gave a note.

The hare was called out, along with Fuck All, not sure WHY. There were lots of WHYs. It was the catch phrase of the evening. WHY? Jigsaw gave a note.

Swollen noted that the theme of the run was to find the boa constrictor that was playing havoc with the locals. He opened up his bag and pulled out a baby croc he had found, and threw the small shoe across the circle. Then he pulled a metre long rubber snake out of the bag, and started shaking it at everyone. He kept asking WHY?

GM asked if anyone had done the complete run, Ice Man stepped forward and gave a run report.

Carefree was called out again, along with Swindler who explained the recent heart episodes and outcomes. He has a BIG heart. However, Swindler ended up going to the Southport Yacht Club instead of the Southport Surf Club got him into trouble. Banana gave a note.

RA stepped in and called out Weekly for some reason. Another WHY? from Swollen blurted out. Botcho dobbed in Fuck All for eating half of the Salad on Friday lunch before realising it was not his, then he passed it on to Fuller Shit. Fuck All got a down down.

Swindler, Fuller, Weekly and Wrongway were called out for a down down.

Caps were awarded to Weekly for doing 400 runs, Mad Mike for 300 runs, Blue Card for 200 runs, Bent Banana for 750 runs and Botcho for 1100 runs.

Brewtus gave an Irish joke, followed by Josephine with another joke.

POW stepped in to give himself the POW for eating Fuller’s salad on Friday, but after protests, gave the POW to Swindler for going to the Yacht Club and arriving late.

Brewtus closed the circle. WHY? WHY? WHY?

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 27th October 2017…………………….
Location: Costa O’doro Surfers Paradise
Hashers:18…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

Numbers were down this month due to members on a biking tour . It was back to Costa O’doro again this month. We are made so welcome here and the eye candy is pretty good.

Botcho opened the days  proceedings with special mention to Sir Rabbit and the passing of his father in law Fil.

Once again we  were treat to gourmet delights, cheap beer and no corkage on the fine wine that we all brought along. Woodies had a bottle of 2010 Chard, urine in colour, but taste pretty good apparently. Sir Rabbit would have drooled over this drop.

For some reason most of the Hashers were on startes orders and were all departed by three.

Not Aussie and Sir Botcho cleansing ales were needed so it was on on to the Beer House.

Another great Splinter Lunch day was had by all that attended.

On On till next month.

Next Months Lunch…After much discussion it was decided that we would return to Costa O’doro on the 24th November for more fun, good food along with a little bit of eye candy.

Date: 23rd October 2017………………………….
Location: Burleigh Heads……………………….
Runners:22…………………………………………….
Run Pictures…………………………………………..

A new location for me, that’s what I like about the hash, you get to places that you would not normally go to. There was a thunderstorm in the morning and threats of more rain tonight. I felt a bit sorry for the hare, Fuck All, and hoped the run would not be washed out. The trailer was set up at the roadside near the picnic shelter at Wonga Park. With the possibility of imminent rain the large marquee was also set up on the footpath near the shelter. Tables and chairs were placed on the footpath under the marquee. We thought that numbers may have been down, as many hashers had travelled to Viet Nam, but no, there were about 20 here tonight.

The hare gave instructions and everyone (almost) set off north on Cowell Drive, left at the roundabout, then left at the next roundabout onto Wonga Street. Looks like the runners had a few false trails up the side roads. We continued down Wonga Street almost to the end, and then followed a footpath back into the park. We got about 50 metres into the park and saw that the footpath had become a pond. Water was streaming across the footpath and either side was boggy. We tried going left, then thought better of it and turned back. Earlier we noted that KB and Weekly took a short cut back to the shelter, so we headed back there also. Fortunately it didn’t rain, although most were prepared by wearing raincoats, however, I didn’t want to have cold wet feet that night. The walk ended up being a bit short at about half hour, but OK and well marked.

The hare was busy at the trailer stirring a big pot of a white creamy substance, and frying up what looked like metre-long sausages. Back at the shelter, each hasher had a little bag of dried beef jerky, a bit chewy, but nice flavours.  Hare called everyone to the trailer where he had cut the sausages and put them into sausage rolls. The pot of white goo was on the table, so thick and sticky that it was almost impossible to get it off the serving spoon and onto the plate. There was also gravy that was poured over everything. Once everyone struggled through the goo, they went back to the trailer for a dessert of slices of cake roll.

The GM called the circle and called out Weekly. Actually, he didn’t have to call him out. Everyone formed a circle and Weekly found himself left in the middle, obvious choice for the GM. Now Loved gave a note.

Hare was called in along with his helpers, Green Machine from Melbourne hash, Lady Linda from Indooroopilly and KB for helping with the food. I think Green Machine helped in setting the run. Carefree gave a note.

Returning runners were Now Loved who was sailing and fishing off Panama on a 60 metre catamaran, Carefree who was in Paris, and Rock Hard who had been going through a series of test following discovery of prostate cancer. He took the opportunity to say that his PSA was 92 and cancer had a Gleeson score of 9 out of 10. He said that he would be looking at alternative treatment, and that he would be following a special diet. Now Loved presented the GM with a painting of some fishing boats up on a beach. Miscarriage gave a note.

Carefree and Rock Hard were called back into the circle for wearing a hat during the last down downs. Rock Hard was let off, but Carefree got the drink. KB gave a note.

The RA stepped in, and after a couple of jokes asked if anyone had done the full run and had wet shoes, then changed his mind and asked for those that had turned back at the flooded path. Those on hierarchy were sent back leaving Circumference, Ball Point and Now Loved in the circle. Poxy gave a note.

Brewtus gave a joke about a painter.

Miscarriage had done some research and found that there was another hasher who was a distant relative, back to the Viking days. Botcho stepped forward. But wait, there is more, there is another hasher distantly related. Brewtus stepped in! Miscarriage said that Brewtus had just had a lobotomy and showed of a scar on Brewtus’ head.

POW was Brewtus and in the quickest appointment of a POW I have ever seen, stepped into the circle and gave it to Fuck All for setting a run that was too short.

Two Dogs stepped in to present Brewtus with another bottle of fine red wine to replace the broken one from last week.

GM called Ball Point to close the circle.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 16th October 2017………………………….
Location: Southport……………………………….
Runners:24…………………………………………….
Run Pictures.………………………………………….

We get two-for-one on this run, a combined Oktoberfest and V8 Run. We were all gathered at the shelter at Pelican Beach near the boat ramp at the southern end of Sundale Bridge. Hare Two Dogs had set the trail but most of the marking got washed out in the persistent rains, but he explained the route in the pre-run direction instructions. He had the handicap list ready and started 5 walkers out first; I was in that first group. We started off on the walkway under Sundale Bridge then south between the Nerang River and the tram line towards Macintosh Island. A group of 5 runners ambled past us. At the Bottle “O” sign down the ramp near Atlantis East, and under the highway.

On the other side the trail split with runners continuing south and walkers going north into Macintosh Park, then east over the foot bridge towards Main Beach Parade. North towards Cable and Pacific Streets, then west along Breakers Street, over Waterways Drive to check in with the Chief Scrutineer. Everyone had a rain coat on and fortunately we only got the occasional drizzle.

Poxy was the chef tonight, and had German sausages and rolls ready as starters. A pot was on the BBQ keeping warn. It was a German goulash with more bread slices. This was followed by chocolate ice cream lolly. Very tasty, thanks Poxy.

GM called the circle, and called out Fanny. Didn’t hear why.

The hare and chef were called out next for a down down, note by Bent Banana.

Hot Dick was called out for getting lost and heading towards the Spit, wasn’t he a navigator? Slab gave a note.

Fanny was called out for looking for a girl, turns out it was KB looking for a girl for the tunnel run. KB got the down down. Note by Fanny.

While KB was in the circle, hash noted his clean, shiny black shoes. Not very hash. GM was standing on a bench, and showed of his not so flashy shoes and fell backwards onto the table. Take it easy GM, you are not supposed to exert yourself too much. KB got another down down, Prince gave a note.

RA stepped in, but was in desperate need of material. Had a few jokes.

Miscarriage stepped in and said how he had a good day with the council meetings. Prince said there was a whip-around and collected enough to but a large jar of Vaseline. Did that work, Miscarriage? Prince got the down down, note by Miscarriage.

Two Dogs got up on a bench and announced winners. Circumference was first walker and got some BBQ implements as his prize. Second placed runner was Slab, he got a small torch. First placed runner was Brewtus. He got a cap, bottle of fine red wine, T-shirt with his name already added to the list of previous winners and the challenge mug. There was a photo session with the winners, when GM stepped in to be included. He seemed to be getting very close to Brewtus, and seemed to be rubbing up hard against him. Brewtus was so shocked the fine bottle of wine slipped out of his hands and smashed on the ground.

After the broken glass was cleared up, GM stepped back in. He noticed Swollen Colon was trying to set off a damp fire cracker under the picnic bench. The fuse lit for a short period then fizzled out. Meantime, everyone had backed away. Swollen was called in for a down down, Missing Link gave a note.

POW (Prick of the Week) was Brengun, who recited a famous Wordsworth poem, then called Brewtus for POW for breaking the fine bottle of wine.

GM checked if there was any update on Rock Hard, Mad Mike said the consultation with surgeon was tomorrow, so no further update, we wish Rock Hard well.

GM also announced Sir Rabbit was supporting his wife in the care of her father, and may be missing hash for a short time.

Hard On, Fanny, Truck Tyres, Sir Slab, Missing Link and Sir Prince were called up for a photo shoot as departing bike riders to Viet Nam. They all had a down down, note by KB.

Josephine closed the circle.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 9th October 2017………………………….
Location: molendinar………………………..
Runners:28…………………………………………….
Run Pictures.………………………………………….

We got to the treasure trove in Molendinar that houses some of Sweat Hog’s most prized possessions. A BMW 1200 bike, a 1000 Ducati, an old VW bug in various parts, chairs, tables, machines, welding equipment, etc. The hash trailer was also there, trying to get the lights sorted after the misadventure of last week.

“The run is set on chalk and paper” says the hare, and sets us off left out of his warehouse along Expansion Street, straight across the roundabout into Resources Court where we got to a false trail mark. We found the trail again on a track to the side of a building that led into a drainage easement back to Ashmore Road. We crossed Ashmore Road a bit further down with Ball Point calling On On into some bushes. Into Bicentennial Park and up an easement into Presbytery Lane. We saw Nasty coming towards us. He was doing the trail backwards??? Anyway he turned around and stayed with us along Bridle Lane, left into Macquarie Ave, then left into Watford Crescent. We entered Bicentennial Park again down a track back to Ashmore Road, then on home.

The tables and chairs were taken out of the trailer and set out in a straight line like a medieval long table. Bowls with biscuits, cheese and sausages were set out for nibbles. This was followed a bit later by corn and peas, boiled potatoes and chunks of chicken, followed by apple pie dessert.

GM called the circle, and brought the Hare out. No run report (I thought the walkers trail was well marked) and for the food report, someone thought the chicken was cut with a chainsaw. Shat gave a note.

Visitors were Brengun again, who was disappointed there was no lasagne this week, and Metro who was on his way south in a sailing boat. Slab gave a note.

Kwakka was brought out on 2 charges; one for not advising about the police van stopping as many hashers as it could last week, stopping VD and GM for a breathalyser. Secondly, missing next weeks hash as it was his 35^th anniversary. Shat gave a note.

Fullershit stepped forward with a pair of glasses that were left in his bag last week. On closer examination, the glasses were very colourful and pretty, they were not claimed, and Fullershit was told to rethink where else he could have been for a pair of very feminine glasses to be left in his bag. Explain that to your wife. I reckon those glasses would end up in a bin somewhere.

Kwakka stepped forward with more lost property from last week, an umbrella for Fanny and a rain jacket for Jigsaw.

Fanny was brought in again for revolting against Spain, and he angrily repeated that he was not from Catalan. He got a down down anyway. Note from HardOn along with a trumpet rendition from Metro.

Substitute RA, Botcho, called Fanny out again for posting too many photos of himself on his new white bike. Prince gave a note.

Ball Point came out with a long joke, Missing Link gave a note.

POW Ball point came back out and called, Fanny, Missing Link, Brengun, and Rabbit. Brengun picked up the POW, and drank the long glass.

GM announced that Rock Hard had been diagnosed with prostate. Mad Mike had spoken to Rock Hard the previous evening, and was advised that Rock Hard was going for a PET scan Tuesday. Our thoughts are with him.

Two Dogs announced the V8 run next week, and already there were protests on the handicapping. He is still accepting bribes.

Metro closed the circle with renditions of jazz and blues on his triplet.

Hash Cash is taking expressions of interest for the cocktail party 2^nd December for hashers and partners. Let him know if you are interested so he can arrange for food and drink quantities.

Hash Cash also taking expressions of interest in the car rally for the weekend of 17 March next year. More to come later in the year.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike