Run 1879
Date:4/11/2013
Location: Frascott Park. Varsity Lakes
Hare:Caustic Crusader & Lurch
Runners:28

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

A very good roll up at the run site but in very cool and windy conditions. After several of the overseas returners received warm greetings from those less fortunate, and provided their brief comments on the trip highlights, the hounds were off at 6:15.

The Run: Following some usual road work with several checks, it was eventually into the bush around Reedy Creek; the creek not the suburb! The run became much more interesting with the usual Miscarriage and Two Dogs working the pack fairly hard. There were lots more checks, or I should say On Backs in our hares’ parlance.

This scribe hit the front on several occasions, only to be relegated to the back after constantly being caught in the wrong place.  Good work hares! However we were treated with obvious contempt in many places with gigantic arrows and On Back signs designed for someone with Mr. Magoo’s eyesight problem.

The highlight of the run was a pipe crossing where, if anyone was to fall in he would receive a proper drenching.  There was also a Sir Slab imposter LURCHING in the background, on a bicycle, barely visible in the darkness, to ensure everybody got back safe.  All over in 50 mins, which could have been 49.9 mins if Rectum and Shetland had not taken sickies.

Following the Run a Melbourne Cup sweep was organised by Dogs and Sir Blackie.  Fortunately I scored the winner Miss Demi and will see Blackie first thing next Monday.

The Nosh:  There was much effort in the food preparation. It was so good it had to be outsourced, but hey who cares, as long as there is plenty and it tastes good. There were two curries,  exotic rice, various fruit and chutney condiments and served with Turkish bread. This was followed by large servings of pavlova and lemon meringue pie.  At the risk of swelling Caustic’s inflated ego, I must say it was all very yummy.

The Circle:      Miscarriage was straight into it as usual , with DDs:

Two Dogs, missing in action when called to comment on the food.

Caustic and Lurch, the hares, for an excellent run & walk and excellent food. Scored 8 and 8.75 respectively.

Lurch, riding around on a penny-farthing bike.

Whoredeni, visitor from Surferes Paradise.

Ferret, prime suspect for passing off a 10 Thai Baht coin in the beer bucket; strongly denied, but looked guilty

Sir Prince, referring to our hash living treasure Sir Rabbit as Little Piggy.

Swindler, on behalf of all the Junket returners. He commented on the dangers of being an ex GM with Shat and Now Loved mentioned in despatches as among the more seriously wounded.

Carefree, setting a new record for a Leaver. Left last week, returned this week. There was an unconfirmed rumour that he returned to collect his share in the secret lotto winnings from last Splinter lunch.

Acting GM Miscarriage, for falsely charging someone over a HASH Hot Line stuff up.

Caustic Crusader, for apparently falling off his own dreaded pipe crossing during the run rece.

 POW: After dismissing Ferret for passing wind in the company of other hashers, Rug awarded the prick to Cumsmoke for getting married yet again. It turned out that this was a vicious rumour started by Caustic, to whom the prick was passed.

News: Swindler kindly volunteered to be stand in as booze master next week, to give Pony a bit of R&R on the water.

The Christmas cocktail party with wives & lovers will be on 7 December at the Brickworks. Same restaurant as last year. Confirmation or deposit sought next week 11/11/13.

Sir Prince presented the full story about Shat’s damaged finger, which I will condense to: he got severely pissed, he fell over, he shattered his little finger, he felt no pain, he got even more pissed, he continued out of control and unmanageable for the remains of the evening. Truck Tyre and Kwakka reportedly not in much better condition.

Next weeks run will be from Remembrance Monument about 200 mtrs north of Sundale bridge, Southport.

Josephine closed circle at 8:30 pm. Thanks a lot Caustic and Lurch.

On On Bent Banana

Run 1878
Date:28/10/2013
Location: Paradise Point
Hare:Flatulence
Runners:24

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

A roll up of 24 was very good considering all those absent cyclists weaving their way around Asia. It was a windy water-front gathering who was surprised to see some missing hounds back, including Ferret, whose overland trip was cancelled by a sister-in-law event. With the BBQ heating up and a full compliment, the run actually got off before 6:15 pm.

The Run: It was off south along Bayview St. to an eventual false trail. Most hounds headed west, but a suspicious looking Two Dogs held back and after a while headed East down along the Broadwater, then through the grounds of a large apartment complex and a pleasant jog around the boardwalk surrounding a deep-water marina.

It was then back west to the tarmac and a long stretch, better served by the visiting V8s (or missing Rectum) than us ageing athletes. It eventually led to another false trail, which in its simplicity confused many seasoned runners, where it also seems our beloved acting GM came to grief; never being seen again on the run.

Eventually the trail led to the outskirts then through the Conservation Park where Dogs and Shetland guided the remnants of the pack through, to end up on Oxley avenue. Another check west of Oxley and a miscalculated guess by all led us back north, which actually should have been south.

Time was up for several who decided enough was enough and they headed back which cut 5 mins off the trail. It was a well marked trail, big arrows, plenty of them and all  but a couple on the LHS as stated by the hare. No checks but good use of false trails and our Indy monitor reported it was 9.71 klms in length. All runners back under the hour; just!

The Nosh:  Much more than last week. It was very tasty and bulky meat patties on very fresh bread rolls with the usual accompaniments. Care Free was the acting kitchen bitch and there was plenty to go around, despite the fact there were many more runners than expected. The dessert of real trifle and custard followed later. Yes the burgers were up there with Josephine’s standard, with a few stating they were actually better!

The Circle:      Miscarriage was straight into it as usual , with DDs:

Rug, the ex spy, just back from visiting several countries connected with the current diplomatic upheaval over phone tapping, eminating from USA, where Rug spent most of his time.

Latrine, for cosying up so close to the German tourists last week and linking them up with our acting GM who felt sorry for them and gave them some work. Only to discover later, after generous cash payments and heaps of beer for a days clandestine work on the Beaudesert abo site, that they inadvertently sabotaged his water hydrant (repairs $500).

Lurch, pretending to be a black and white minstral, but even with his strange Tshirt to fit the part, he could not sing.

Caustic, Croc and Looneybeams, for not supporting hash booze, after spending all their cash on $7 stubbies at a nearby watering hole. Shame!

Flatulence, finally, the Hare of the evening who did an excellent job, with scores of 8 for the run and 8 for the food. I noticed Caustic, next weeks hare,  visibly trembling and discounting these scores in the knowledge that the spot light will now be on him to perform.Mr. Lee and Carefree, popular recent supporters who will be leaving this week.

Botcho, Mr. Nice Guy, who has accomplished 900 runs with GCHHH. ”well done” cried the crowd.

 POW:  Rock Hard had several candidates but selected Rug for his recent spying/phone tapping activities.

As the ceremony concluded an old hasher “Opium” joined in, having heard the noise from his mother’s nearby residence. He was remembered by Sir Blackie, Sir Rabbit and Two Dogs and no doubt remembered by others overseas. Apparently his name has something to do with slow acting dope, but he now could easily pass for a Clive Palmer lookalike.

Next weeks run will be from Frascott Park at Varsity Lakes, with hare Caustic and his apprentice Lurch. Caustic indicated that all should look forward to a real “gourmet” meal.

Moonbeams declared the circle closed at 8:25 pm.

Thanks a lot Flatulence.

On On

Bent Banana

 

The Hashers pictured below deserted the ship in our hour of need.

Charges pending!!

Run 1877
Date:21/10/2013
Location: Burleigh Heads
Hare:Elvis
Runners:19

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

By 6 PM only 8 hashers were there. By 6.15 the numbers swelled to 16, a reasonable quorum,  and by the end of the Run there were 19. Not bad with so many away. We gathered in the bushfire-prone area beside Elvis’ mansion in West Burleigh where we received news of the Run and his plan to eat at a local Thai restaurant. Moonbeams who eats Thai food every day did not look too excited.

The Run: It was into the bush and up hill for a while, then after circling around the bush perimeter it was back into the bush, then over hill in the bush, followed by a big bush crossing, then eventually down a bush bike track to the tarmac of West Burleigh road. Rectum was way out in front (followed by Dogs) with his experience of bush bashing in Mt. Tamborine,  until we eventually came across an area of missing trail. Apart from this one stuff up, which I will record as interference by school kids, it was a clever and well marked trail with good use of bush.  After the bush sector it was up and over Heartbreak Hill opposite Fleays, with all runners back under the hour. Miscarriage put in a final good performance as he was no longer handicapped by the bush crossing without a torch. Silly bugger!  A quick beer out of the pony van then on to the nearby Talle Thai.

The Nosh: It reminded me of a wine and cheese tasting affair. You know, nibble, nibble, some liquid, more liquid, another nibble then its all over. The food was very tasty and extremely edible, but there clearly was not enough, with some memorable stuff ups by the owners. One rice bowl, consumed by 5 was supposed to service 19? Long delays between dishes and rather than several large servings of a limited variety, there were many small lots of many different varieties which didn’t seem to go anywhere. At our large  table end it was chicken, followed by chicken and then some more chicken, all in sample portions. But upsettingly the next tables of 3 and 4 had fish, prawns, soups  etc., but no rice and in small servings. Many left contemplating a Macca on the way home. Maybe we should have paid more and avoided being served a child’s meal, I don’t know!

The Circle:      Miscarriage was straight into it as usual , with DDs:

The 4 hungry bastards, Botcho, Blackie, KB and Rock Hard, for having a separate table and ordering additional food for their private party

Caustic Crusader, who was obviously caught out for likely short cutting the Indy run,  for which he claimed victory, yet struggled in near last tonight.

Shetland,  out of Show Pony, for being too competitive and forcing our beloved acting GM to within seconds from a heart attack, on a challenging run home.

Lee, out of Cambodia, loosing and missing the way (somewhere?).

Lurch and Lee, the stand ins for the original Twins Arnold and Danny.

POW:  The very popular choice of Rock Hard, beat 3 other contenders, for his passion for gluttony.

News: Lurch updated the group on Cumsmoke’s inappropriate and unsavoury recent activities, which this scribe will not put to pen. But needless to say completely in character with our absent one.

The Hash committee is feeling “Joe Hockey” stress in balancing the budget and while beer prices will remain $2 & $3, there should be no more “pub” runs until the Christmas Party. Furthermore, it was unanimously approved that financial measures should be introduced whereby the current overseas travellers should pay a penalty on their return, as they are not around to support the club when in need for the full year, yet they enjoy all the freebies throughout the year.

Splinter lunch at Lola’s, opposite the Bowls club in Broadbeach, with Moonbeams sponsoring the first round of beers.

Next weeks Run will be in the Paradise Point area, where Two Dogs has threatened Flatulence it must be, or else.

Circle closed by our living legend Moonbeams at 8:45 PM.

Great Run Elvis.

From Joke Master Cicumference

Do Las Vegas Churches accept gambling chips?

THIS MAY COME AS A SURPRISE TO THOSE OF YOU NOT LIVING IN LAS VEGAS**, **

BUT THERE ARE MORE CATHOLIC CHURCHES THAN CASINOS.

NOT SURPRISINGLY, SOME WORSHIPPERS AT SUNDAY SERVICES WILL GIVE CASINO

CHIPS RATHER THAN CASH WHEN THE BASKET IS PASSED.

SINCE THEY GET CHIPS FROM MANY DIFFERENT CASINOS, THE CHURCHES HAVE DEVISED

A METHOD TO COLLECT THE OFFERINGS.

THE CHURCHES SEND ALL THEIR COLLECTED CHIPS TO A NEARBY FRANCISCAN

MONASTERY FOR SORTING AND THEN THE CHIPS ARE TAKEN TO THE CASINOS OF ORIGIN

AND CASHED IN.

THIS IS DONE BY THE CHIP MONKS.

YOU DIDN’T EVEN SEE IT COMING DID YOU?

It?s so easy to fool ole folks!!!

;

Run 1876
Date:14/10/2013
Location: Main Beach
Hare:Two Dogs
Runners:26

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

The Two Dogs Super V8 Hash Run

The handicapping was complete and a staggered start from outside the Southport Surf Club saw the hashers leaving in waves with the those still not at the stage of needing knee replacements out of the blocks last.

The hashers ran and walked between the Super Car barriers and the light rail construction site.

After most hashers had crossed the finishing line Truck Tyres was seen starting the run in the wrong direction. Go figure?

First order of business was an important announcement from Show Pony the Booze Master. He announced that there was a reversal of the decision by Swindler the acting Booze Master and all drinks were now $3. The Pony had spoken. This announcement was considered to be of much greater importance than the abolition of the Carbon Tax and was accepted with a lot of nodding and comments like “well done Pony” and “about f……… ng time”.

Show Pony having a good sense of diplomacy and politics failed to mention that the $3 beers were from Aldi and imported from obscure countries in South America.

The nosh was a hierarchy responsibility but the GM making a rare appearance had decided to impress by going for a solo production of ham burgers aka hash burgers. Butter for the bread roll? Sorry forgot but put on the mayonaise instead.

The GM called the circle to order. Two Dogs was called out to present the trophies.

First Prize went to Caustic who scored a backpack, cap and other valuable items.

Second Prize went to Rectum, on the edge of a complete emotional breakdown after being beaten by Caustic accepted with great humility a pair of binoculars. Very useful on Mt Tamborine for spying into the bedrooms of the Gold Coast.

Third Prize went to Veteran who was awarded a camel back water pack useful for ultra marathons in the Simpson Desert.

The walkers over achievers award went to Slug who received a bottle of red of doubtful quality. A walkers special mention went to Carefree who had left and gone home to watch 4 Corners. In his absence Blue Card was awarded a T Shirt advertising a local radio station. Two Dogs how do you get these rare and priceless items?

Latrine was back from a year in PNG building an ice cream factory. The worst year of his life capped off by the last manager who hated yanks. Welcome home Madam L.

Sir Blackstump was back with us after a successful but cold competition at the World Masters in England. 12th in the Run Swim Run event. Great effort!

Sir Prince was in trouble with the RA for always getting a DD and increasing the overheads of the booze master.

The POW awarded last week to Bent Banana could not find a suitable recipient as all the usual suspects would be away for 3 weeks in Myanmar and China. Bent Banana showing true leadership awarded the POW to himself. Where is Flasher when you need him?

Next weeks run by Lurch and Flatulence (maybe) to be held somewhere. Rest easy Ferrit has the Hare Line under control, well the jury’s out on that.

See you all in 3 weeks time when we get back from hash duty in  Myanmar. In my absence Bent Banana has kindly stepped up and will be the Hash Scribe.

HASH V8 Handicap 2013 – post race results

JOKE OF THE WEEK

The Blonde is showing off her new tattoo of a giant seashell on her inner thigh.

Her friends ask her why she would get such a tattoo and in that  location.

She responds ‘It’s really cool.

If you put your ear up against it, you can  smell the ocean.’