Run: 1713
Hare: Pizza & Jigsaw
Location: Chevron Island
Date: 30th August, 2010

Our stand-in last minute hares gather on the western end of Chevron Island to greet the pack and send them on the way with the promise of a great “drink stop” on the way round.

Pizza heads off just after the pack leaves in his trusty ute and greets half the pack on the way over the Chevron bridge .. The word is out !!!!! Drinks will be at the “Pizza Hut”!!! Pizza’s work in progress abode opposite the golf course. Caustic/ Scarface is the sweeper following the pack off in the general direction of the NSW border. The SCB’s soon figure Pizza’s joint is just along here and round the corner; they are greeted with numerous icy cold beers with red wine chasers both brewed by our Italian stud, with the grapes squashed with his own feet during some sex romp in the back yard wine vat. There’s only 52 litres of the beer and 640 litres of the red announces Pizza ……… so drink up boys!!!!! “AND SO THEY DID !!!”

Over the next 40 minutes the pack came in from all directions with every excuse imaginable for SCB’s. Pizza calls “last drinks at 7.45 pm ….coz I gotta take these wogs stayin ear to tha airport, so fuck off!!!

Back to the nosh on Chevron and Jigsaw takes the tag team duo to the next level.

Seems sister-in-law Helen has (been) volunteered to do the cooking with a great lasagna and Jigsaw’s secret recipe dessert being enjoyed by all.

8.35 PM Circle is called.

The hare comment is first and Josephine declares he got on the piss early and headed off West ……. Good solid run and great drinks stop too!!!

The Bent Banana gave “Helen’s Nosh” 8/10 commenting on the great herbs used in the dish.

The pack gave Helen a telecommunications DD along with Jigsaw while Pizza was off delivering the wogs to the airport.

GM Flasher declares “he is not FEELING himself” ???????……..(that will be a change)

Returning runners Bung, Blowfly and Josephine are called to get a DD . Josephine lodges his usual protest claiming “you’re short on numbers (That will be enough of the SHORT comments) Sir Rabbit gives a note.

POW Rockhard is called with all the POW gear still firmly in the carry bag.

KB gets nominated for being on the piss at Pizza’s ALL NIGHT (as you may see in these notes)

Rockhard gets the POW back for hierarchy abuse (finally) and ROCKHARD YOU’RE ON THE ICE.???

Point Two gets through the secret code letter quiz!!!!!!

Aussie gets it for 3.30 AM spam not knowing the moon from Mars. Goat Farka gives our extraterrestrial traveler a note.

Aussie is back in for further travel tales …… seems the Saturday Sharks game was transferred to Sunday and they told the other 15,000 people and forgot our lonely little Aussie. Bent Banana gives a note!!!

Jigsaw stands in for his co-hare Pizza and charged with No Effort.

Seems Pizza is quoted as saying “You would only #$@% a harriet if you are too lazy to W@#$ yourself !!! Hmmmmmmmmmm S.O.L. appears to have changed Pizza’s stand on this subject.

Old Fart gives a note !! ( What the hell is he doing here SO early??)

Rectum claims to have carried Old Fart all the way !!!! Old Fart gets a DD and Rectum gives a note.

Charges are called.

KB charges Caustic with now knowing what it’s like to have a gash .. as usual KB’s charge backfires and KB gets the DD

Sir Prince Gets a DD for some reason the on sec cannot read (told you I was getting pissed)

Goat Farka escapes and Caustic and Point Two both end up on the ice (Caustic is cheating with the feet locations …… but watch this space) “Fucking pathetic” protests Point Two (that’ll get you 5 minutes more)

R/A and GM abuse, and profanities continue to cascade from the guilty pair to see their time extended numerous times.

Bent Banana offers a hash prayer of three verses.

Point Two is off the ice!!!!!!

Goat Farka is wacked for “bad attitude” declares……. don’t give a fuck …. I’m off to Cairns (You’ll be back!!)

Next week’s run … Sir Prince.

Old Fart has secured the Hash trailer a new home …….. Gold Card coming for SURE !!!!!

However that’s not the only Gold Card Old Fart is getting this week …….. seems Telstra has seen 32 years as long enough to support aging scout masters and Old Fart is about to get the MASSIVE redundancy package ….. 12 September will be a big day …….The 13^th is a Monday so be ready for Old Fart’s shout!!!

Sir Rabbit gives a note !!!!!!

Goat Farka is observed getting into Cairns mode early joining Caustic in the no shoes brigade.

Circle closes 9.10PM

Another day in Hash land closes in a fog of alcoholic (p)mist.

Thanks for the lift Goaty.

On On

KB.

Run: 1712
Hare: Shat & Veteran
Location: Biggera Waters
Date: 23rd August, 2010

Lands End bridge is not that hard to find …. Just follow the water keeping it on your right.

Well that’s OK for some….. but Scout masters like a tougher challenge than that!!!!

…….Like head North. Hmmmmmmmmm The tails of Old Fart continue in this exciting episode of ……….Old Fart lost in the bush volume 3…….. More later…..

A stroll around Biggera Waters and up to the smallest park on the Gold Coast to find Shat and Veteran with their stolen Coles shopping trolley and a bucket of “Drink Stop piss” made from Penfolds 707 and the finest ginger beer…….. then back to the Nosh for a feed of spuds, followed by an Adelaide favourite ( according to Veteran)the famous “Pie Floater” topped off with an icecream cone stolen from the back of McDonalds.

OLD FART is still not back and search party discussions fall on deaf ears!!!!!!!

Better save some nosh for Old Fart …. Fuck him !!

Circle is called at 8.06pm

First up …. Hares Shat and Veteran

The standard of the night is set early with Shat calling the GM a cunt.

Flatulence offers comment on the nosh … Pies and Spuds “a bit starchy GM”

Bella the R/A’s girl liked it (only time it gets a feed)

5 out of 10 was the score from Flatulence.

Pussy Boy gave the run comment ……. Very “straight forward” good to see large arrows

Moon Beams rose to his feet to give a note.

Returning runners .. Hitler, Pussy Boy, and Swollen were asked for excuses it seems working, girls and getting your dick wet took some preference to hash …….. (go figure which one the excuse applies to)

It’s 8.15 and a huffing and puffing Old Fart has found his way out of the scrub to join the pack.

Just in time to witness Pussy Boy and Hitler in a “Photo opportunity” with the tool of humiliation …….. That’ll teach them for talking about wet dicks!!!

Miscarriage gives a nooooooooooooooooote!!!!!

R/A is called to circle ……… He MUST have amazing powers !!!!!!!!! No RAIN !!!!!

R/A opens with 1, 2,3, 4 shit jokes.

KB is called to circle on some trumped up charge about R/A abuse

…….. Shoes off KB ..You’re on the ice!!!!!!!!!

Piss off you pricks ….. this hurts!!!!!

Swollen sets off the fireworks to mark the occasion.

KB gives Swollen a note!! Miscarriage gets it for touch parking a brand new car ….Point Two gives him a note!!

POW Guitar Man is called . I have a couple of nominations .

1. R/A is a cunt (that will get you a long way Guitar Man . You need to be named yet!!)

Miscarriage says not good enough to have that name ….. (another bold statement considering the potential consequences)

1. Rockhard ….. a serial offender for POW .

Rockhard gets it …….. Guitar Man offers a note and Rockhard proceeds to take the rest of the night to consume the half yard of POW piss.

KB is off the ice ………. (Fuck it hurts )

R/A calls Guitar Man back in to discuss his potential Hash name.

Rainbow’s hump, Piss Bucket, and O-Fender are suggested as names for this out of work muzzo mate of Rainbow’s.

However this is cut short with R/A abuse from Guitar Man and he finds himself on the ice compliments of our R/A.

Charges are called for.

Miscarriage charges Sir Rabbit with purchasing “NEW TACKLE” for Mrs Rabbit Hmmmmmmm !!

Goat Farka charges Old Fart with having to wait on three occasions now for his nosh. Quoted as 1 hour 2 hours and now 3 hours late … Goat Farka’s inventive mind has come up with a solution ……… Goat Farka produces a game fishing rig with a yellow belt to go around Old Fart’s neck ……….. We can reel the cunt in after 1 hour claims Goat Farka, then I can get my nosh on fucking time for once!!!

Goat Farka gives a note and the pack sing the DD song at Old Fart pace.

Croc gets it for “hairy palms” … feel this boys !!!!! Then they get to know they are transplanted pubic hair having had his hand on his cock for the last 5 minutes .. a dash to the dettol bottle follows for the pack.

Cumagen gives a note.

Sir Rabbit reminds all of the Splinter lunch.

Bike Ride this Sunday too!!!

Aussie tells the story of a women’s work is never done …….. So let the lazy bitches get up 2 hrs earlier. ( good luck Aussie)

Swollen told the tale of his visit to Tamworth Hash …… seems he snook up on a Goat Farka just like ours in MANY ways ……. 100 nannies in one night … that’s our boy !!!!!!!!!

Seems G- string and new set of jugs flashing is all the go in down town Tamworth.

Old Fart reminds the pack that the scouts are fund raising looking after the Basketball ISL comp next weekend at TSS ……… should be some great competition and well worth a look he says.

Sir Prince brought news of a previous member Vial ……. Seems he is on the way to wealth and fortune putting together Tattslotto syndicates cost free (to him) and making a fuck up of Chinese bride selection using the same process.

NEXT WEEKS RUN …….. Unknown (seems Hitler is off getting his dick wet again)

8.45pm circle closes.

Cumsmoke and his love head off to a night together and Old Fart can’t find his way to the car……… Another day in Hash land ends.

On On

KB

Run 1711

Lost in Cyber Space

Run: 1710
Hare: Rock Hard & Sir Rabbit
Location: Nerang
Date: 9th August, 2010

The pack gathered ready for a run knowing full well this was sure to be into the dark back blocks of the Nerang state forest. A few questioned flew through the heads of the GCHHH as they waited, will the R/A’s powers be tested with such a bad weather forecast, also “where the fuck” are the booze masters?? Hares Sir Rabbit and Rockhard promise a great run and NO-ONE will go hungry tonight.
The pack charged off into the darkness over the latest innovation in hash trail setting …………………..
Microscopic arrows >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Seems Jigsaw has been holding quiet lessons in arrow sizes and placement. The FRBs get completely lost at the half way point and it is only the glow of the bike track that guides the wayward pack back to the nosh area. Sir Prince and Sir Rabbit get ambushed by a yowie and call for new kimbies.

Back at the nosh area!!!!!!!

Where the fuck are the boozemasters ???????????

Frantic phone calls go out and it revealed the booze masters have been on the piss at the brewery and on the way with the Mr Whippy brew and the GCHHH new Keg Gig equipment.

A SPECIAL NOTE OF THANKS to Pizza who has donated on permanent loan the SEVEN kegs required to stock our brews ………. That’s $560.00 worth of savings. Thanks heaps Pizza.

Nibbles are served and Sir Rabbit proudly advises Aldi has had some great $1 bargains.

The statement by Sir Rabbit proves to be totally accurate the nosh has NO portion control and the hearty beef curry is dished out in huge portions.

Saved by the bell the booze masters arrive and show living proof of “don’t fuck with the gas pressure” …………. The final result gets the nod from all with great comments on the new Keg Gig booze set up. Seems the Booze Masters give it the vote too.

8.28 GM Flasher calls circle and the R/A’s powers immediately fail ……….. Seems he may have almighty powers but he cannot control the human intervention with the flood lights that go out at the very second Flasher calls “circle”
8.29
The Hares are first up as usual ………… Sir Rabbit and Rockhard.

Rectum gets the job of trail report……… Micro arrows!!!!!! Seems he went via the hospital to the nosh. Even the skills of FRB Rectum failed on the micro arrows. Rockhard takes the comments to heart and responds with very humble “fuck off” you winging prick.

Bent Banana comments on the nosh calling it a “meaty curry” very tasty and gives it 8/10 seems Sir Rabbits secret herbs and spices are all handmade ….. Aussie wants to know how he makes the “comin”

Missing Link gives the hares a note !!!!!!
KB gets called into circle …….. seems the GM has retracted his demand for spell check closure and protests about misspelling Flazzher. KB gets to pick a proxy DD and the obvious choice is Aussie.
Aussie gets a DD and a further “D” on his dunce’s hat!!

GM Flasher announces a VERY IMPORTANT point for hashers to NOTE ……. There will be a yellow card in the photos or the hash trash each week to check if members have read or viewed them. The penalty for not knowing the code for the week ………. Icing !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goat Farka announces a pending move to Cairns and mix with fucking up the booze is called to circle, his backchat to GM sees him instantly ordered to “all fours” Caustic is called in and the pipe of H#@$%&*%$# is applied ……… Caustic seems to enjoy the experience and gets flushed with excitement (see photos) Goat Farka goes to jerk off the appendage between Caustic’s legs and promptly snaps the end off it !!!!!!!!!!!! Hmmmmmmmmmmmm (rule one ??????)

Ice him !!!!!!!!!!!!! Follows the act of GM tool abuse …… so now Goat Farka is on the executive seats with the last parcel of ice firmly tucked under his crack. Bent Banana is called on the offer a “hash prayer” at the threat of a DD if not ……… Bent Banana does a great job on Mr Bangles and missed the DD.

The R/A is called …………..
Goat Farka is let off the ice.

KB and Goat Farka are called to circle and an AMAZING MOMENT of shyness overcomes the R/A who discharges the pair without penalty and announces he has NO material………… The fact is he did have dobbed info but had looked to the heavens and could see his arse was heading to the ice if that cloud dumped its guts on the pack ……(Which it did 3 minutes into the trip home and hasn’t stopped yet) Amazing powers of the R/A.

Charges are called for ………….
It backfires on the R/A who gets a DD and Rug gives a note.
The R/A is straight back in with the dog food stash of half a plate of Sir Rabbit’s stew sitting in the R/As dish………. Seems his excuse was two ham and egg rolls at 4.30 pm GM votes the R/A guilty as charged and a DD followed.

Josephine is called to circle to be presented with the freshly hashed 700 run flak jacket.

Sir Slab is asked to give a note ………. WITH PLEASURE GM was the response.

Well done Josephine !!!!!!!!!!!

POW Bung announces he only has one suspect ……. Botcho !!!! Seems a secret e-mail on photo paparazzi has leaked back to Bung.

Botcho immediately does a dash to the Botcho Machine to produce the first “Gold Card” let off claim.

Then Botcho completely fucks up the use of the card when Bung hands the choice back to GM

Flasher to choose another POW …….

Botcho steps up to cop the POW anyway and says goodbye to his treasured Gold Card too. Seems asking the pack to get it back was met with “fuck off” sympathetic responses (sharing and caring lot)

Botcho sets a new record for the POW yard glass with no less than SEVEN gulps to finish it.

Sir AH calls for numbers for the Great Spit Bike Ride………. E-mail Sir AH please.

Sir Slab gets a leaving DD …. He has saved up his pension monies and is off to share a backpackers in the humble town of Thredbo Village for the next three weeks.

8.58PM Circle closed.

Booze masters last to arrive and last to leave…….. Thanks guys!!!!!!!!
3 Minutes later it pissed down raining and STILL is !!!!!!!!!!!!
PS …….. Don’t forget the yellow card code !!!!!!!!!!!
On On!

Run: 1709
Hare: Now Loved & VD
Location: Miami
Date: 2nd August, 2010

Thu winta chills blowin across the parkland did not deturr thu GCHHH pak .

Word had spred that thu traila was out of mothballs and a heartey barbq was on offa.

Tha pack set off on a trail north along tha beech, however the smell ov a cold ail was two much for a small pac of walkas who headed off ova tha hill led by Dickie knees ( two of them this week).

Tha pub on the corna was the gathering spot for few of tha pak, watching the FRBs running by three times they then joined in the trek back ova tha hill and down to the nosh area.

Traila, extra barbq, lights and a host of amature chefs greeted tha pak.

Back to cans of beer toonite boys, Cumagen has old stock to get rid of befour we get into the keg gig.

Goat Farka arrives to assist booze master finds its two cold and heads off looking for his dummy.

Cicle is called at 8.16 PM

The hairs are first up and some form of political propagader cup kakes are handed out to the pak.

Two ugly foatos are on the icing (icing should have been the areses… ^{on sec}) a clear breech of rule one of hash is called by all. Mumbles is asked four comment on the nosh and gets caught with a mouth full of the g@# kake………. His comments are understood by all !!!!!!!!!

Auzzie sucks up to the GM again!!!!!!! Dobbing in the “over the hill” gang.

Ferrett gives the nosh 7.5 outa 10 and comments its great to see the traila outa mouthballs.

GM Flasha has another neer miss of a Flasha Fuck Up and calls Josephine into circle. Stand by Josephine !!!

Bent Banana gives a note to the hairs and the rabble give the worst DD song in hash history and get away with it !!!

Josephine …. Your back now …… Wot do you get four $8500 and 15 years ……….. 700 runs that’s wot!!!!!

Well Done!!!! Josephine ……… He gets fitted at great expense for his flack Jacket to be suitably “Hashed” to recognize this enormous effort.

Missing Link give a note…….

The R/A is called and has appeard with a hair cut obviously from the training academy for $5 or he has resorted to uzing the dog clippers….. either way the popal hat back PLEASE.

KB gets called to circle and gets charged with fishin instead of attending the byke ride recky on Sundy. KB gets a yellow card for GM and MFLE disrespect … Trumpped uppppp!!!!!!

KB is called back to circle for another DD (seems GM Flasha is gonna give the on sec greef over the Fuck up comments) On sec claimes the need to report the truth and how it is …….. as all journalists should. KB is charged with spellin things rong and GM suggecsts turning off tha spell chek on the computa. AS you can cee I have tayken his advice.

Auzzie gets a DD for no hash gear …… sucking up is working great so far !!!!!!

VD gets aDD for introducing Geoff (now loved) to the pak.

Dicky Knee(s) gets a DD for having a little dick …… R/A is just jelous!

GM gets it for claiming a sore sholda and Dicky Knee taked the DD.

Sir AH gives a note.

Vetran and Misscarrraige get a DD for waysting free birthday crowneys. Vetran says “ wasntme” drink it anyway Vetran.

Charges are called for ……….

Misscarrrraige calls Sir Prince for disclosing his chronic case of herpes.

Sir Slab calls Ferret, Missing Link and Sir Prince in to explain the splinter lunch additional activities.

Seems the vague recakll is Melbas around 4.30 for a roady, Irish pub (somewhere) for 3 Pints (each) Ferret seems to recall a surf club in the mix somewhere too. Nowmal domestic harmony from the group seem to be the reports with “you’re a discrace” Banned for 1 month, Your kidding you want sex!!!!!.

Two Dogs gives a note!!

PS ….. Seems Link has late recalled ……..6.30 pm arrival , two days later some communication, still not talking much (lucky barstard)

Pommie is called to circle ……….. R/A declares his name “Pommie” has NOT been issued under strict Hash rulz and declares his official hash name is RECTUM …… something to do with Bottomley as a surname I’m told.

A touching naming ceremony followed with GM Flasher christening RECTUM with holy water and R/A dubbing him named RECTUM.

POW Sir slab ……… gave it to Blackie in absetier . So Bung copped it for just being there.

Three goes at the half yard glass was not a bad effort.

Sir Slab reminded the pak of the bargain prices for only $120 going to $150 next week …… so flick your doe to Flasha and he will send it on.

Sir AH declared the “ great bike ride “ entreez opened for Sunday the 29^th

Moonbeams continued to suck up looking for a gold card …… to no avail not sucking hard enough yet !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vetran ….. dobbed Sir Rabbit and Rock hard for some shit …. But by now the on sec is getting a bit pissssed and carnt read his scribble.

Sir AH , Now loved, VD.

The Bithdat guys get a note ….Thanks for the crownies boys !!!!!!!!

9pm on the dot circle closed.

On On

Kitchen Bitch

PS Thanks heaps Goat Farka for doing the notes last week … great job!!!! ……..On sec