Date: Monday 4th June 2012
Hare: Hierarchy – AGPU
Runners: 39 (we think)
Weeks to AGPU: Zero, Zero yes Zero!!
CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEW HIERARCHY WHO ALL LOBBIED SO HARD FOR THEIR NEW POSITIONS
Here we are, finally, at the last words of this inspiring Hierarchy. Sadly you won’t see any of us on the Hierarchy for at least 10 years due to the new “exemption rules” voted through at Saturday’s final committee meeting. Yes, the cars have been ordered, the marina berth paid for, the holidays booked and the cash in the bank, it certainly has been a busy year for your enterprising committee. We just hope the new committee has as much fun as we did.
Now back to the AGPU, what actually did happen, who was there, who said what, and more importantly who did what and who was photographed doing whatever it was they weren’t supposed to be doing with whoever it was? These are the questions, which will no doubt be uncovered in the coming weeks as no doubt the ability for anyone to recollect the entire evening and publish it in one go is far above and beyond the bounds of possibility.
The finely dressed crew, mostly in their Hash formal attire, gathered at the now famous “Alley Cat” Bar on Chevron Island for the first of, presumably, many refreshments. Along with the plentiful ales, platters of goodies came out to keep the hunger at bay. The next stop, following a well-marked trail, was over to the now famous “Surfers Rowers” Bar at Bundall where more ales were had by the now thirsty travellers. It was then on down Upton Street to the now famous factory and site of many a past Hash event. The secrecy of the event was worse than the Wikileaks saga with virtually everyone seeming to know where we were heading and what we were having for dinner, truly the worst kept secret of the year, but hey that’s Hash.
The first order of the night was the presentation of the full track suit sets provided by the illustrious Hierarchy, indicating that not all funds had been siphoned off. The spit roast feast followed (main and dessert) accompanied by a selection of ales and quality wines all served by our delightful helpers. Speaking of helpers it was noted that Sir Cumference was spied assisting one of the helpers with their stockings, nice touch. And speaking of touches a few of the party were seen getting an eye full and even an earful from the roaming and sometimes very friendly assistants. After dinner it was time for the first of the night’s formalities being the announcement of the annual “Hash Awards”. These were as follows:
Prick of the Year: Caustic Crusader
Run of the Year: Sir AH, Nerang Forrest, run #1765, 29/08/11
F/Up of the Year: Aussie, Labrador, run #1796, 02/04/12
Best Nosh: Bent Banana: Carrara, Oktoberfest – German Snags, run #1770, 03/10/11 (Flasher as proxy)
Worst Nosh: Missing link, Chicken Curry, Cascade Gardens, run #1756, 27/06/11 (John as proxy)
Most Runs; Rug
Committee Man of the Year: Jigsaw
Hashman of the Year: Sir Prince Valiant
Veteran was also acknowledged for his 100 runs
A new punishment of Hash Spankings was introduced by the outgoing Hierarchy and after undergoing careful possible rule #1 infringement scrutiny it was decided that it was permissible and it may even catch on.
Finally it was time for the grand finale of the evening with the outgoing Hierarchy, in turn, announcing the nominations and winner of the prized positions. For the record the winners were:
GM: Bent Banana
RA: Sir Cumference:
On Sec: Rectum
Hash Cash: Black Stump (again, well done), guess he needs the money to help him move
Trail Master: Sir Rabbit
Booze Masters: Crocodile & Rug
Hash Flash: Kwakka
Alas all good things must come to an end and soon it was all over and as bed time had well and truly passed it was time for all to depart. The taxis soon arrived and the now wobbly pack made their way home, some with trophies, some with smiles and many with tears (sorry Pizza maybe next year).
Great nights like this don’t “just” happen, plenty goes on behind the scenes so special thanks must go to those who assisted including VD for the use of his venue, Black Stump for acquiring the trophies and Sir Rabbit for providing the evenings music.
In closing, and whilst It’s normal to be jealous of the Hierarchy, take some pity on us now that we have been discarded and thrust to the bottom of the scrap heap, left to suffer depression as we no longer hold any power or position within these ranks. Oh to be so jealous of those lucky bastards now left in power.
As most of the outgoing Hierarchy now depart on their traditional annual overseas study tours we bid you farewell and look forward to our next tilt at greatness sometime far in the future.
On On from “The Desk” AND SIGNING OFF!!!!!!!!!