Location: Mermaid waters
The Annual Hash Relay is on our door step this year. Truck Tyres and your Hierarchy needs numbers for our team!!
About The Hash Relay
Nosh Helpers: VD-KB-Blue Card
Questionable skies greeted the rabble as they slowly assembled in the carpark At Pizzey Park; a few grizzled that it was “worn predictable ground” but that was predictable in itself!
Last to arrive with the Trailer was ???? Yeh, you guessed it Truckie !! A piss poor effort at reverse parking was stopped by KB de-hitching the trailer and pushing it into the parking bay; however there was a slight downslope and he was last seen being dragged by the trailer heading for the Pizzey Park lake! No reaction from the Pack except someone muttered “F#*K him” !?!
Eventually the pack was called to order by the GM and Slug gave the Trail instructions which included a Martian styled Arrow ; international markings are fine but inter-constellation markings are a bit advanced for our elderly Pack !
At 6.15ish the Pack departed through Pizzey Park heading for the Conservation Hill down to the Burleigh Heads Golf Club and back past Burleigh Bears Sports and back through Pizzey Park to the Venue.
A variety of dip starters including a chilli mayo with Aldi Cheddar Cheese Crackers
A guaranteed crowd pleasing bbq chicken schnitzel with boiled buttered potatoes with a delicious mixed green salad; sadly it was noted the Jenny Craig split-away group dismissd the potatoes which left even more of those little treasures for the “fatties” !
Liquour marinated strawberries with vanilla icecream; a delicious ending to the “dinner in the Park”
Just as Circle was called the heavens opened with initially a light Scottish mist increasing to gentle rain with a “cold” breeze up your kilt; then KB remembered he had the new company car which he was showing off to all with the auto roof “DOWN” ; maybe he knew he would have a cold soggy arse on the way home anyway ?
This also explains why KB was hell-bent in starting a fire (with a treated Council pine post) to warm up his nether regions!
Ice could be heard being poured into the Icing Vessel (a large aluminium wok styled pot) !!!
At this point several petitions were handed to the GM
- Swindler (being a tricky ex-lawyer) with a High Court Appeal regarding the summary dismissal of the Anti-Icing Fatwa; the present Hash’s legal council is presently away on a junket ( That’s 2 Dogs, Aussie and Fanny ’Mollases” Charmer already dipping into the coffers!) and is set down for a hearing towards the end of year.
- Caustic petitioned for clemency on the basis he was a reformed Hasher and was now working actively for the new Committee in the Capacity of Stand in Scribe; the gracious GM pardoned the sins of Caustic and clemency was granted !
Despite the aforementioned the 2014/2015 Committee was en-masse called out for a group icing however by majority vote KB was nominated by the ex-committee as “scapegoat” and dropped his strides (What a horrific sight seeing his wrinkly bare arse) and descended, like a parachutist whose chute has failed, onto the new icing vessel; NB: last years Serial Pest Of The Year Bent Banana tried his usual shenanigans and offered one of his Patented “anti icing” appendages however this one was for girls as it had 2 cork plugs; several of the Pack Rabble shouted out that was ok as KB was a Total Cx#t and it would fit perfectly! Poor KB but the Captain of the vessel takes the accolades and also the responsibility!! Ha Ha
Iceman started off on trail and was going okay until he lost trail (and his marbles) at the golf club and aimlessly wandered around looking for trail for the next ½ hour; seemingly he had pocket-fulls of lollies and was seen bribing a group of teenagers !! Hmmmmm
Hard-on reported the walk was fine through Pizzey Park but around the soccer club he had a bad back spasm and went into the soccer club bar area to get a glass of water to wash the medication down !! SEEMINGLY to get a glass of water you need to buy a glass of red vino !!! Hmmmmm
In conclusion; a reasonable run/walk within the confines of a well worn territory.
- Josephine berated last years Hash Scribe Swindler for omission of him in the current Runners section page 20 of the Year Book ; Swindler received a DD
- Kwakka piped up with a Question: Why was SPV late for Sat night dinner?
Answer: Seemingly Miscarriage had taken his 90 year year old mate Bill out to see the new development and when the town car got bogged on the first corner decided to decant Bill from the nice warm car and push him in his battery assisted hospital wheelchair up to the “lookout”.
This flawed attempt at Everest failed when the battery fell out and once again Miscarriage got bogged; at this point he was forced to phone SPV for assistance.
Little did he know but assistance came with a Princess who berated the poor boggee with language few would have heard before!! (Although many in the surrounding 5 kms vicinity thought the new ILS landing approach route had been activated and the shrieking roar and piercing howls of pain were the result!!)
SPV duly got his Snatch Strap-on fitted and pulled off Miscarriage from behind ! Hmmmmmm
As was reported at last weeks run the Hash Hot-line has been suspended due to Hash moving to a more modern age ! WRONG!!!
Due to numerous complaints from the old blokes and their shielas and the generosity of Miscarriage ( Miscarriage has paid the telephone for next 2 years in advance) the Hot-line has been reinstated and will be manned every week by Blackstump (due to Blackie being in-fear of his life from Helen if the phone wasn’t manned again!)
Next Weeks Run
Rockhard from Mudgeeraba Music Hall
End of Circle
Really enjoyed the words Josephine.
You have a unique and laconic style.
HE SAID WHAT – I was still blowing Point Two at 10 o’clock next morning.
Josephine telling the circle of his recollections of the 2015 AGPU.