Date: 28th December, 2102
Location: D’Arcy Arms
Host: Sir Slab
The favorite watering hole of the GCHH was the venue for the grand finale Splinter Lunch of the 2012 year.
On arrival it noticed a large group of Santa’s helpers crowded together in a tight almost impenetrable circle…what could possibly be as interesting and absorbing to keep the absolute attention of this group of intellectuals??. Forcing though Santa’s helpers was virtually impossible as no one was prepared to give an inch when in fact all they really wanted to give was several inches to the centre of attraction.
It was then that that the old saying “…..life is all beer and skittles” become very clear…each of Santa’s helpers all looking resplendent in their Christmas tuxedos with beer in hand and all desperately trying to vie for the attention of Skittles …and hopefully give that inch or three!!
This tall skinny little object ( what could they see in her ???) looked like she needed a good feed and her only interest was not in Santa’s helpers but the large pieces of freshly baked garlic bread on the tables that she devoured while at the same time moving gracefully as she was passed from knee to knee.
The formalities where rapidly dispensed with by host Sir Slab and his associate Sir Rabbit as no one really cared one iota what they were saying as all eyes (as well as groping hands and grinding hips movements) were on Skittles.
The true expertise of an experienced hashman came to the fore as Sir Slab was able to momentarily drag the attention away from Skittles with his Trivia Quiz questions. The crowd really did not give a rats ars… about the simple questions he was asking but it enabled all to get a closer look at Skittles as Sir Slab supported her as his off-sider( we are not sure why it was necessary for him to be so close to his supporting assistant ??). We suspect that Sir Slab has been watching too many episodes of Wheels of Fortune as sees himself as the next TV Quiz host with a spunky assistant!!!
The prizes given away where a huge hit as each winner graciously accepted one of Sir Slabs well worn old hash T-shirts still with the sweat of many runs complete with rips and holes and then promptly proceeded to thrown them in a far corner as far away from where they were sitting as possible.
As the afternoon proceeded we were treated to a rare sight on land with the appearance of 2 white pointers. Within seconds of the appearance of this unique sight there was a rapid reforming of another group of Santa’s helpers again together in a tight almost impenetrable circle but now fortified with wine and the courage of a mongrel dog on heat all now offering to give that inch or three. The apparition rapidly came to an end as an elderly female patron with heavily sagging appendages and undoubtly upset by the competition reported the incident to management.
The afternoon drew to a close and it appears the Mohammad Abdullah alias Flasher was again subjected to more pain and suffering as his wine case was misplaced by a Santa helper. The Santa helper (who allegedly said he had a Blue Card) had realized he now had zero chance of playing hide the sausage after the departure of Skittles so become content to upset Mohammad Abdullah trying to play hide the bag.
The Brisbane group of Snappy Tom ( ..he just completed 1500 runs) , Semen ( ..none left behind this time) etcetcslowly went on their way back home no doubt commenting on what was another great day on the Gold Coast with the Gourmet Hash.
The Gold Coast group slowly dwindled one by one as they headed home for a Nana Nap ( or maybe a Power Nap to be ready again for the next days festivities) and a tongue lashing from their better half for drinking too much at these important luncheons while a couple of intrepid party goers who were unable to drink sufficient during the afternoon and needed additional fortification staggered northward for Wine & Pizza at Nicolines to continue to party on into the night.
A grand finale to the 2012 Splinter Lunches thanks to our well organized hosts.
January Splinter Lunch. Splinter Hash Summer Cup Golf day