Date:3/10/2016

Location: Chevron Island

Hare: Kwakka

Hashers:21

The Run

Despite the weather being somewhat inclement there was a good turnout of 21 hashers for Kwaaka’s run on Chevron Island.  Kwaaka had seen his run washed out twice so Two Dogs was given a piece of Gyprock and the runners set off over the bridge towards Surfers.

The walkers did the circuit of Stanhill Drive where recently returned Magician sought advice on how to deal with an infestation of termites.

The Nosh

Due to the pack arriving back a bit earlier than expected there was a wait before the nosh arrived.  Flasher and BB had sourced some new bottled reds and there were German beers left over from last week. The Devlin’s Mount Shiraz received favourable comment.

Entrée of sausage rolls and party pies was followed by a main course of lasagne, salad and bread rolls.  Desert was a tasty mousse.  The lasagne received favourable comments, even KB who was a late arrival was impressed.

The Circle

Down Downs:

Hare: Kwaaka

Visitor: Bren Gun who is still finding his way back to Brisbane after Friday’s Splinter Hash.  After casting aspirations on Shat and Slab being rejects from Brisbane Men’s Hash, he told a great story about Layout back dooring him.  Reminded me of an episode at James Cook University however that’s another story.

Birthday: Truck Tyres – 7?

Sinners: Prince Valiant, Brutus, Magician, Miscarriage

Returners: Bren Gun, Magician, Fuller Shit, Nasty

Trucks Tyres: for his love affair with Ice Road Truckers and attempting to fit an oversized bull bar to the Suzuki Vitara.

Prick of the Week: The GM who was presented with the award at last week’s Octoberfest Run called out those who would be absent for the next two Monday runs into an inner circle. By process of elimination amonst those remaining hashers in the outer circle, Weekly received the Prick.

Last Down Down of the Night : Magician who suspects he may have picked up Zika virus in the Philippines. Was that a mosquito bite or sexual transmission?

In the absence of Moonbeans, Ferret and Josephine, the circle was closed by Botcho.

Slug (Stand-in Scribe)

Special Report from Circumference…Boys on Tour

WHAT GOES ON TOUR SHOULD’T ALWAYS STAY THERE AS IT IS CAN BE GOOD TO SHARE WITH OTHERS LATER

Sir Prince Valiant(SPV) has a regular catch up with his old Melbourne University mates from time to time and this time instead of sunny Port Douglas where the pale Victorians like to get some spring sunshine, this time they decided to stay in Melbourne for Grand Final weekend, to protect their white winter skin from the FNQ sun. So SPV organised himself to fly down on Friday for the first function that evening and then attend the second function at the AFL GF at the MCG on Saturday. He happened to mention his trip to Miscarriage(MC) who said that as he was also going to the GF, they could catch up. SPV said as he just happened to have a spare ticket into a corporate box, it would be all organised. They arranged to meet at the Young & Jacksons Hotel for game preloading. So on Saturday morning, a pretty dusty hungover SPV fronted up to the busy CBD hotel where MC was already on his first Carlton Draught. After a couple of these, they proceeded to the G, found their box and were soon sucking on Crownies (quite a few were consumed during the afternoon’s game).

After the GF was decided in a history making doggy style, they decided to go for a feed in Lygon Street, a far safer dining precinct these days compared to the Underbelly years. They were plucked off the street and given a window seat in Mafiossi’s Trattoria ,by head spruiker and maitre de, Salvatore (SAL) which was the name on his name tag. They quickly ordered the veal scalloponi so as to get the 20% early diner’s discount. Salvatore got a couple of bottles of the Yarra Valley’s finest chiraz for taste tests, and they chose a sneaky 2012 red to compliment their mains. Salvatore had noticed the names that they were calling each other – Miscarriage and Prince and couldn’t help himself from asking about their names.

The conversation went something like this –

SAL to SPV- Why do you call him Miss Carriage when hessa man. Shouldn’t it beea Mr Carriage ?
SAL to MC – And you call him a Prince, why ? He doesn’t sing as well , does he, like the dead one ?
MC – Sir Prince, if you don’t mind (correcting him)
SAL – How is this so, that he is a Prince and a Knight ? In what country ,what part of the world is he from ? He didn’t get one of those Tony Abbott knighthoods like Phil the Greek did he ?
MC- No.They are just our nicknames. We are Hash House Harriers.
SAL – Please, we no longa want any involvement with drugs and shootings anymore. The bad old days long gone, they all dead or rotting in jail.
SPV – It is a running club, we are runners not drug runners.

A relieved Salvatore then got another bottle of red for the table and MC thought he would try and lighten up the conversation so as to ensure any doubts that SPV and himself were associate members of the infamous Carlton Club.

MC – Salvatore, let me tell you about my friend, Mick, in Beaudesert.
SAL – Yuoa know Bo Derek, the beautiful woman with the bigga bosoms ?
MC – No, not that Bo. It is a town in Qld near the Gold Coast.
My friend is Mick
SAL – Your friend is a Catholic man ?
MC- Not that sort of Mick. It’s his name, it’s short for Michael.
SAL – Now I understand.
MC- As Michael has a Wooden eye and a speech impediment, he lacks confidence and thought he was hopeless and unemployable.
He said he wished he had a job and a girlfriend.
MC- When I met him, I told him as I used to be a butcher, I knew he would be suitable for work in that industry. So I drove him out to
meatworks and they said they would give him a trial as a Boner.
A couple of weeks later, I saw him again and asked him how things were going.
Now that’s another story.

After the fortnight, he got his first pay and went to the hotel for a few drinks. He had a couple of XXXX Golds and saw a pretty girl
sitting by herself. To get a bit of Dutch courage to approach her, he had some Bundy & Cokes to settle his nerves. He walked up to
her and said –

Hi, I am Michael. How would you like to go home to a BBBBBBBoner every night. The lass, excited by that sort of proposition couldn’t
contain herself and screamed out – Wouldn’t I ? Poor old Mick thought she was mimicking his eye and let rip his reply which was –
Shut up, Cunt Face, before he stormed out of the hotel with his self esteem in tatters.
SAL- That is sad. As it sounds like she wanna him real bad to makea love to her and he stuffed up real bad.
SPV – What about you Salvatore. How are things with you ?

By this time, between the effect of the whole day’s alcohol consumption and the noisy restaurant customers, MC thought he heard Salvatore say the following –
I have to get my tubes tied and nuts aligned next month and the whole operation is going to be very expensive without insurance.
So MC replies – No Sal, that’s for sheilas, not blokes. Do you mean the snip ? Sal.
SPV – JC, Miscarriage. He said he needs new tubes and tyres and with a wheel alignment, the whole exercise will be an expensive one as he has to pay his car insurance as well next month. Let’s get out of here, before you make a complete fool of yourself.

Can we have the bill please, Sav ?

SAL still gobsmacked by what he had just come out of MC’s mouth, produced the bill which indicated that the early diner’s discount well had been well and truly cancelled by the wine bill.
MC figured it was his time to pay as SPV had shouted him a wonderful day at the football. He began to search for his wallet but as he couldn’t find it, he hoped he have left it in the corporate box at the MCG.
SPV then said – What is it with you Miscarriage ? Everywhere you fucking go, you loose something – passports, credit cards, get bank account details wrong and now this. To which Miscarriage replied – Well you know what say, Sir Prince – a fool and his money are soon parted.
So SPV got out the Platinum Plus VISA, paid the bill and they left the premises, SPV decided as it was still early and as the night was still a pup, a couple of cleansing ales wouldn’t go astray at the hotel across the road.

Once seated at the bar, SPV spied a sign at the entrance to another bar which stated – LIVE MUSIC $10 Cover Charge. So before parting with his hard earned , he decided to send MC over to enquire as to what type of music would be on that evening ? So MC swayed over in his size 13 brown suede shoes, and in some sort of Swahali speak approached the doorman –

MC to the doorman – Ex -Cuuuuuuuse me, what type of music is it, tonight ?
Is it rock,blues, soul, jazz. 70’s or 80’s etc ?
The doorman answered- Country and Western
On the way back, MC purchased a couple of pints with some loose change he found in his pockets and then this conversation took place –
SPV to MC – So, what’s the go with the music ?
MC to SPV – I dunno, he didn’t explain it real well, just said its some cunt from Preston !
After another mouthful of his beer –
MC to SPV – I wouldn’t mind some more shiraz, hearing some jazz, something like a sax session, cause who doesn’t love a good blow !

With that, SPV swallowed the contents of his pint and decided that was time to call it quits and get MC and himself home on the tram before they got locked up for the night.

Run 2032 Pictures Here

Date:30/9/2016

Location: Costa D’oro. Surfers Paradise

Host: Sir Botcho

Hashers:40

Roving reporter Annie “Shiraz” Lane from the  ABC reporting on  “The Gold Coast Splinter Hash”

Well here I am again out and about with the Gold Coast Hash.

 Today was a special event!  I was invited along with Sir Botcho’s wife Cappaccino and other well dressed ladies to attend the September Splinter lunch.

Wow! This Splinter Lunch is certainly getting more popular each month…40 was the count. When questioned about the large number of attendees. Sir Rabbit the spokes person for the group, told me that I was the attraction and that boys just love a bit of eye candy.

The girls were in fine form knocking  back the reds in keeping with the Splinter Lunch tradition… never leave any wine behind.

Sir Botcho  was celebrating his 70th apparently!! I myself would not have him a day over 69 plus a few days perhaps. LOL

Cappuccino returned from the kitchen with a magnificent Birthday cake with only one candle for him to blow out. The call came out from some over lubricated Hasher  ” put more candles on the cake” Another Hasher called out speech! speech ! You always have something to say Sir Botcho, and we have trouble keeping you quiet on Monday nights.

The few times that I have had the pleasure to chat with Sir Botcho I have found him a reserved polite person with not much to say at all. He responded to the call outs with a simple thankyou. What a gentlemen.

I was told by Flasher, these names have me bloody confused! (got his naming after being caught flashing his arse on a run in Bancock I believe) that Sir Botcho’s  favourite saying is, “Why let the truth stand in the way of a good story.”

As the wine bottles were being emptied a call was made to move to the local Irish Pub for a few cleansing ales. No I! The pace is too much for me.

 September Splinter Lunch Pictures Here

Date:26/9/2016

Location: Robina

Hare: Hierarchy

Hashers:29

Hares are regularly asked when they are doing a run recce or setting a run – What are you doing, mister ? or the more confronting – Get the fuck off my property or I will set the dogs onto you or I will get the shotgun out. Last Monday afternoon was certainly different experience for me while setting the run. Over near C Bus Stadium , some bloke covered in tatts in a black sports car pulled up and asked me – Are you the SEA FM Fugitive ? I replied – Not as far as I know, but I am Circumference from Gold Coast Hash. To which, he just took off. I wonder what the fuck that was all about, I thought. Anyhow as I continued marking the trail, I finally got to the cricket club and two young females asked me the same question about the SEA FM Fugitive. I asked – what’s this all about ? They advised that there was a $5000 bounty for locating the SEA FM Fugitive and the clue was – a ball and grass stains. To these few clues, the radio station had listeners visiting every park form Coolangatta to Coomera looking for the Fugitive. This went on for hours and I had some quite hot little female bodies cruising up in their wheels, having a quick chat to me in their quest to locate the Fugitive and jag the $5 grand. After that procession finished the MILF’s started walking their poodles around the cricket oval. Next up was enterprising young Ben flogging off his plants to raise funds for his deposit on a new BMX bike.Several generous hashers made some purchases with the GM digging the deepest into his wallet before thinking about how much digging he had ahead of him to plant them.

Finally the run and walk were off after the dining set-up logistics were finished. The pack followed the lake around towards the Robina township precinct , towards the railway station, over to C Bus stadium, around the hospital, through the bus station, and back to the cricket club. The walkers who were back first , were settling into their Octoberfest beer consumption mood when the German beers were located in the big esky. A sound track of German music classics fired up in the background with Josephine hanging out waiting to hear the Chicken Dance song, but alas he had missed it while he was still on the run . so he had to settle for the next song from the Beach Boys Tour of Germany album.

The kitchen crew of KB, Sir AH and Truck Tyres soon had the dips and crackers out for entrees. Many hashers had changed into their German clobber including some Nazi look a likes and some Bavarian boys brigade outfits. One big Nazi/SS officer made a smashing entry as he belted his leaden truncheon onto a table from the trailer. As a result, he left a fair sized indelible dent in the table for all to see. A couple of hashers, knowing I was the current POW, then asked me if I had witnessed that , to which I replied to in the affirmative.

The appetites of the now well lubricated hashers were coming to the boil as the mains were served. Lots of sauerkraut, onions, bacon and big thick sausages were served in fresh bread rolls. The red wine was also appearing on the tables. Those still hungry hooked into the strudles and ice-cream for dessert. Others had another German beer for their dessert.

The GM called it was time to load up the trailer in readiness for the circle. The ever alert Missing Link noticed a table was missing from the inventory and I quickly assured him, it would be available after the circle. As the hare, I was pleased to hear Josephine enjoyed the run as he said it kept Flasher on trail which is normally pretty hard and the involvement of the hare on the run., He compared it to – sometimes it’s like rounding up cats. Asian visitor, Mental, was next up and he told of his hash adventures and his club’s upcoming 1700th run. Sir Prince normally has a bit of dirt on Miscarriage and sure enough, he told the circle about his mate nearly burning down half of Gilston last Saturday when a regulated burn off turned into a bushfire. I know it was all true, as I could see all this smoke on the mountains from my drinking spot on the deck of Rainbow Beach Surf Club at Snapper Rocks. In the absence of Miscarriage, Dicky Knee , his proxy look a like (?) , took a big swallow for him.

RA Shat then remarked that he had to broach the next topic a bit like the plebiscite, a touchy stepping on egg shells matter. He called for the table and for the record asked it to be identified as Exhibit A. With the spade work done and the exhibit on display in front of the jury, the current POW, stepped out in full regalia and spoke how hash trailer property needs to be looked after by all as a lot of generous donors and hash dollars are tied up in those assets. He then pointed to the dent made by the Big Nazi/SS officer.
Under that army clobber, was none other than our GM. Shit, is this going to create a drama giving him the POW , thought many in the circle ?. Anyhow in true hashing democratic tradition, it went to a vote and in an unanimous vote, the GM became the POW. Sir PV was quick off the mark with a note which the circle sang heartily.
Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 16, in a German styl spiel.

MEDIA WATCH

A Lucky Prick

A Vietnamese man is recovering from a penis reattachment after the husband of his mistress allegedly sliced off his genitalia.
Dr Dong of Bac Giang General Hospital said – The patient’s condition is stable , however it will take some days to learn if the function returns to the victim’s genitalia.The hatchet man,Nguyen Van Huen began stalking his wife after suspecting that she was having an affair. He allegedly caught her at a hotel where he allegedly chopped off the man’s penis and then threw it away.

The penis was found 200 metres away after an extensive two hour search for the missing genitalia after the victim’s relatives convinced Huan to reveal its location.
The victim, obviously became quite worried during the two hour search as his reply to being asked would he miss it, if it wasn’t found.
Of course I will – was his reply.

It reminds me of another story about a girl working in a busy takeaway years ago who used to write the customer’s name down on the order and call it out when it was ready. One evening, in sheer desperation of waiting for a customer to return for his order she screamed out – Has anyone seen Mike Hunt ? Bemused customers were not sure whether it was also a case of missing genitalia or as was it the couple of blokes, standing outside, pissing themselves laughing, playing a prank on her.

HERE’S SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT IT

From Wikipedia – In April 2013, elected politicians from 9 different political parties voted to change the Marriage Act in the NZ parliament. There was no need to outsource the job to every New Zealand household for comment. Since then over 25% of the marriages for same sex folk have been Australia couples who took a three hour flight across the ditch to get hitched.

Prior to last Australian General Election, the government was quite up front that a plebiscite would be held some time during the life of the next parliament, should the government be returned. What the government was not so up front with was how close it would follow on from the election,the Census and how much it would cost.

On 2 July 2016, Australia voted and the government was returned. The 11 February 2017, is the date, the government has suggested that Australians participate in a survey about marriage. The issue to be surveyed on has been around since 1980 and there have been 24 attempts to table bills on it in the Australian Parliament since then to date. Since 1980 there have been 10 Australian PM’s, 13 General Elections and 8 Census. Another General election is due in 2019 and another Census in 2021.
Recently there was another opportunity to survey Australians on the subject on 9 August 2016 during the GASH (Great Australian Survey of Households) or as the government calls it, the more political correct, the Census. In that survey, the ABS already asked Australians about marriage, divorce, remarried, single etc. One more question on the census form could have saved Australians millions of dollars.

Thirty-three (33) weeks is the time between July 2016 and February 2017 and the cost is anticipated to be about $170 million, including to explain Yes and No arguments, which is not exactly rocket science,when another piece of paper in July 2016 or another Census question could have saved the next required event and Australian tax payers money. In hash time terms, that’s just over half the life of a hash committee.

The government also talks about budget repair but we still borrowing billions of dollars, so we can send more foreign aid offshore.It’s a bit like things being tight in the family budget and the Salvos come knocking on your door, but as you want to be seen to do the right thing you go and borrow $50 off your neighbour to give the Sallies.
However when you see what is happening in the rest of the world with displaced people, whose homes have been bombed to smithereens and now resemble Deen Bros demolition sites. wondering around the planet and even drowning at sea, maybe it is better drowning in a sea of debt than drowning at sea, full stop.

Maybe there’s no better time to be an Australian and realise how lucky and great it is that we all live in The Lucky Country, where our politicians throw tax payer’s money around like drunken sailors.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2031 Pictures Here

Date:19/9/2016

Location: Chirn Park

Hare: Sir Rabbit & Josephine

Hashers:33

There’s always a first in hash, and this 138th birthday party was a first for most of us as we celebrated Sirs Botcho and Rabbi’t s birthday. Prior to attending, I tried the local $2 Reject Shop to buy some candles for the birthday cakes. When the female shop assistant asked – What age birthday ? and I replied – 138, she nearly fell over. JC, she said, is it for a male or female, as we have blue and pink candles. I said – Blue, as it will match his tablets that he takes to harden up. She roared laughing and said – there’s hope for me at last, if there’s old boys out there still getting it up at that age.

The entertainment had already begun as the pack assembled inside the BarNGrill. George Thoroughgood and Bruce Springsteen were belting out a few hits on the screen and a few hashers looked readt to party first without the exercise component. Anyhow, Josephine got everyone out the front for instructions and soon it was on west towards the cricket club, then the dog park,Sharks AFL,the hockey club, ALDI in a clever use of all the concrete paths that entwine those suburbs which is handy for hash runs and finding your way home when pissed from any of the various watering holes. Near ALDI, Flasher or JC, another of his alias’ tried a bit of imitation of that more well known JC, famous for cross carrying, picked up an ironing board and carried it through the back streets like a thief in the night. Upon his return he dumped it on Sir Rabbit’s deck where it was discovered by a not so happy Dame(Mrs) Rabbit next morning .

The thirsty hashers where soon hooking into the birthday beers and wines provided by the generous birthday boys. A mountain of corn chips and some home made avocado/fried beans based dips were welcome additions to the serving table. Before long , Sir Two Dogs wandered out with a plate full of chilli con carne soft tortillas and announced that the mains were being served. The caring hare had even gone to the trouble of preparing a non-chilli version of the nosh for Dicky Knee so as not to upset his bowel movements.

A lot of hard yakka had obviously gone into the preparation of both courses as they were as good as Mexican food you would get anywhere on the GC. In all honesty after doing 30 farts and 3 shits next morning, how could I not say that was not high quality nosh.

J-Lo was strutting her stuff on the big screen in between some family snaps of the Rabbits and the Botchos’ this has been your life over the last combined 138 years. It wasn’t long before Sir AH presented the birthday cakes, candle blowing and singing began to celebrate the special event. More entertainment soon had a few heads turned to the big screen when nubile nymphs began performing cunning stunts with the occasional flash of vice versa thrown in as well.

The GM called an inner circle of old farts, sorry septuagenarians, and told the rest of the pack to leave the warren and go out to the deck. This act of discrimination resulted in 20 in the secret men men’s business circle inside and 14 outside. Anyhow Sir Botcho emerged unscathed from the initiation ceremony which the 14 others will have to wait and see happens when they all turn 70 down the track. A full circle of all 34 attendees was then commenced and the hare, Josephine, and birthday boys were soon enjoying down downs. It wasn’t long until Jigsaw emerged and told that although all had enjoyed his complimentary birthday Coronas at the previous week’s run, he had been overlooked in recognition during that circle. The GM quickly sorted that out and a third birthday was celebrated.

RA Shat then took centre stage and out came Miscarriage for the previous week’s misadventure at Gilston, which although Shat had not attended, he had enough about it from hash intel, to declare it was worthy of a down down for some of the logistical hiccups hashers had to endure on the mountain goat territory night.Next in came Truck Tyres, known always keen to help out a damsel in distress. Apparently he was seconded by harriette Sex on Legs to move her white goods and somehow put a hole in her (ice) box when acting as a removalist. In the circle,Truckie told us a story about how as he didn’t hear Caustic Crusaders’ “Toot Toot”, he missed getting a lift and ended up driving himself to the evening’s birthday bash.

It wasn’t long before the Northern Alliance were all up for a joint down for leaving Miscarriage’s previous week’s Gilston run early. Following on from that,
Miscarriage seized upon the opportunity to award Josephine POW for leaving early and as a result he didn’t close the circle. This looked like a bit of the rough end of the pineapple call as it was Circumference, noticing Moonbeams was attendance to close the circle, who had made the suggestion during dessert to the Northern Alliance – do we want to get home Monday night or Tuesday morning ? As Josephine couldn’t get home any other way, because the last Gilston-Parkwood bus service had finished for the evening, he had no choice but to leave as he didn’t fancy the walk home. So Circumference ended up with the POW rather than the well and truly stitched up Josephine.

Moonbeams closed the circle to RPR 15.

MEDIA WATCH

A Nasty story has emerged about a woman who burnt her feet during a hot coals fire walk at Tony Robbin’s “Unleash the Power” show in Sydney.
Her feet injuries were so bad she had to be hospitalised. The motivational speaker claimed that participants could turn their fear into power by walking across hot coals which can reach temperatures upwards of 1000C. He claimed that once you start doing the impossible(or at least what you thought was impossible), you can conquer the other fires of your life with ease. For the sucker believers wishing to participate in this type of event, it cost them a not so cool $5000 to get burnt at the seminar. Apparently this is not the first time this motivational exercise has inflicted injury onto participants. During June, 30 were burnt in Dallas, with 5 of them hospitalised.

For any hasher adrenalin junkies contemplating this type of BS stunt, there is a cheaper FREE version of this torture available to all in the middle of every Australian summer,by walking barefoot on bitumen or on the sand at the beach for long enough. Don’t forget the sunscreen as you wouldn’t want to get sunburnt as well, while you having a crack at it.

Apparently Swindler is working on some sort of similar innovative walk for hashers in the circle, using ice. Weekly, you could be first up after your ice acrobatics a couple of weeks ago. Stay tuned for this, some time down the track, as summer kicks in.

HOW’S THIS FOR A WEDDING INVITATION RSVP FARKKUP

Guests were asked to advise of their RSVP attendance intentions and their meal preference
…………………Beef………………………Pork………………………..Child (under 12 years)
Maybe it was a cannibal wedding ?

Genuine vegans were pretty well excluded, although there are a few practising clayton’s vegans out there who consider themselves vegans on the logic that cows eat grass and they eat cows.

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

There is something new trending and it’s the CLAP. Considered socially unacceptable for centuries, it is back bigger than ever and its from the national capital of all places. A place considered only for the home for politicians, a bit of stray rooting from time to time and production of pornography. Yes, that’s right , this strain is called the VIKING CLAP and there’s an outbreak in CANBERRA.

In recent weeks, the CANBERRA RAIDERS NRL team have been cheered onto the field by all their full blown supporters with that particular CLAP. And it doesn’t go away in a hurry, in fact it lasts the whole of winter and this year it is particularly strong. Visiting teams have been warned how quickly it can blow you off the park and a particular hooker is one of the main reasons for the damage. Also when the 6 and 9 combine and form the 69, it can also be transferred via the ball(s).

There’s fair chance, it may find itself in Melbourne in Sydney in forthcoming weeks. Early symptoms are slime green in colour.

HERE’S A FEW JOKES FOUND ON THE BACK OF FERRET’S MENUS AT HIS RECENT RUN (Sorry about this)

The girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I had never met herbivore.
How does Moses make his tea ? Hebrews it.
All the toilets have been stolen in New York police precincts. At this stage the police have nothing to go on.
PMS jokes are not funny ………….. Period
There was bloke who used to be a banker until he lost interest. He got a job at a bakery as he kneaded the dough.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy !
And finally Ferret’s favourite – I didn’t like my beard at first, then it grew on me.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2030 Pictures Here

Date:12/9/2016

Location: Gilston

Hare: Miscarriage

Hashers:31

For many of our older hashers who remember the good old days of virgin bush, before shaven became the norm across the modern GC landscape, it was a trip down memory lane for them at this run at Gilston. As the suburb named after one of the Gold Coast’s pioneering villages still features good hashing territory, it was with great anticipation we headed out to the recommended venue. Finally, most found the car park, climbed the hill, carried the eskys, set up camp squatter style on the deck of a house overlooking a big burn off bon fire. Shit, this looks good, commented most until we all told to move as we were not even on the hare’s property but it was his neighbours house we had turned into a base camp with bags scattered all over the verandah. So after gathering our swags, off we went down the track to the correct venue. Brewtus remarked – I am starting to feel like a Syrian reffo.

By this stage, the pack were getting toey about starting this “all the signs of a debacle/ could be a late night” event. However the hare still had to get the food, so he bush bashed down through the hills to his car at another car park to get such. On the way back, he found Sir PV who had already done 60klms around the area trying to find us.
Finally it was down hill and up dale and walkers/runners scattered all around place, with no one having a clue of where the home trail went. Sir Blackie checked and checked but couldn’t find any trail.

The hare hung with one group and others figured out a way home arriving in dribs and drabs to meet another mob of hashers who hadn’t even moved and decided to arse sit as security over our bags. Jigsaw who had supplied some Coronas suggested we celebrate his birthday with him. A Santa’s bag of boxed nosh was opened and soon we were munching on chips and crackers and pretending we were also enjoying the cheese and dips the hare had left at home.

When the hare emerged and their was no further nosh in sight, the GM called an early circle while the kitchen team started dinner. An esky full of sliced cabbage looked about as appealing as a esky full of some of that trucked in South Australian piss they tried to pass off as beer during the great Qld XXXX beer strike in the late 1970’s.However somehow the hare, Sir PV and Truck Tyres ended combining all these bits and pieces of ingredients to come up with a dish known as a Cambodian Asian Beef Salad. An interesting condiment was a dash of Castrol BOOB Plus (Balsamic Blend & Olive Oil) to lubricate any dryness to the marinated beef especially for those hashers who hadn’t had a good service for awhile. Nuts and noodles topped off this dish which judging by how quiet it was when it was served, must have been accepted pretty well by the starving hashers , especially those with dietary requirements before midnight each evening. As the clock headed past 9:00 pm, some hashers were becoming agitated at the possibility of missing Aunty’s Hollywood Hour – another episode of Queue & Nay and all the associated BS played out from the rent a crowd mob every Monday night after hash. The third course of this out there menu was tinned fruit, again from Cambodia.

During the earlier circle, Bent Banana was the first called out as he had been sprung by another hash cam of doing a red arrow runner while driving out his way. As the normally topless running Flasher had finally realised there is thing called the body cooling down was next out for begging others hashers for some warm clothes. Josephine, the green thumb from Parkwood got a nomination for receiving the latest marketing real estate marketing ploy, a plaque for best garden. somehow his neighbours and their neighbours were all multiple winners. The moustached Magician who told all about his recent world travels was dobbed in for failing beer economics, 38 hashers and 24 Coronas does not make for 2 beers for the Magician.

Swindler, also back from his travels in the Top End, was asked to give a note but as he had his hearing aid turned off, he was slow to respond. Now Loved told us about the hare shouting his dad a full breakfast while he only had a snack and then as he got envious, distracted him with some female perving and swapped the meals. Former Top End fisherman told of his successful day in the Broadwater cleaning out the flathead and bream stocks which should be a tasty nosh down the track.

The hare’s neighbours deserve a special mention for being great sports on the night especially when we had all arrived and unwittingly took over their place earlier. There was Les, sprog Jet and mum – a hasher by the name of Ride the Monkey who for some reason become known as Grind the Monkey in the GM’s mind. She told an interesting story from a years ago about another shotgun totting neighbour in their vicinity who upon finding flour circles and toilet paper toilet paper and a hare setting a run on his property sat up all night in case the hasher returned. Apparently that hopeful hare was Sir AH.

it was great to see Moonbeams back to officiate in the closure of the evenings proceedings of RPR14.

No need for you to guess who got POW for his failure to get his run logistics right on the evening, the hare.

We all wake up, thankfully, to Tuesday morning’s news and it is all about the Hayne plane becoming a train wreck where he has gone from a football dreamer, to a happy clapper bible basher to a rapper dreamer partying with a bikie. However if he ends up getting a stretch on the sidelines, early in the 2017 season, there may be a silver lining in it for our bikie hashers to recruit and make him an honorary member of the their patched association and who knows he may drop another $5 grand wad of cash our way. Over to you, guys. I mean he’s got to have his breakfast somewhere and he’s currently obviously got money than sense. I can sure as shit tell you I want be falling through any more fucking rotten timber walkways just to get a donation for the club off the council while this far easier opportunity is there for the taking.

FROM POMMIE LAND / FINALLY THERE’S A JUDGE OUT THERE WITH SOME BALLS (AND SHE’S A FEMALE)

John Hennigan appeared before Judge Ms Lynch QC, facing sentence for his ninth sentence for an Anti-Social Behaviour Order, and after being given a custody stretch in Her Majesty’s finest, began his tirade from the dock, by telling her that she was a bit of a cunt. She retorted – You are a bit of a cunt yourself. Being offensive to me doesn’t help you. Hennigan shouted back – Go fuck yourself. You too – replied the judge.

Hennigan then began screaming – Sieg Heil, and singing – Jews, gas them all. To which Judge Lynch commented – We are really impressed. Take him down.
Hennigan’s wrap sheet for previous breaches included – abusing a bus driver and pub door staff,raising an arm in a Nazi salute, calling black people cunts and niggers, telling black Caribbean women that he doesn’t agree with inter-racial relationships (only natural ones ?).

However Judge Lynch had the last say in the matter – I am not going to argue with you, your offence is thoroughly unpleasant and for repeating breaches of this order using the most unpleasant of language and causing distress, I am sending you off to prison. You will have 18 months to think about your actions, cunt.

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT ONLY THE YANKS WERE THE WACKIEST PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET COMES THIS BEAUTY

Not to be outdone by the more famous named Trump family from the USA, Australia has unleashed the Tromp family who went walkabout on a bizarre National Lampoon style Australian vacation where Mum, Dad and the kids toured cross the country via the NSW/Victoria border and then they lost each other in various towns. As the stolen Holden Berina sped north, a Talking Heads CD was thrown in the car stereo and soon all were singing along to -We’re on the Road to Nowhere as the kids got excited about having their first visit to the trip themed park of Paranoia World.

Before leaving their home without their ATM cards, credit cards,passports etc they all walked out the front door and left their house open just in case any local real agents were looking for Open House places for their weekend listings. Police in two starts began searching for them and some of them were found in hospital psych wards and then the old man gave the world the bird when he was finally found on Father’s Day. The kids, out of boredom while seating in the backseats, invented a new road trip game of seeing who could throw their mobile telephones the furtherer out the window.Ivan Milat might be lucky he is behind bars theses days, because if he had encountered them while they were touring around the Belonglo Forest , he might have just met his match if the family had the farm shotgun with them while on tour.

While it is easy to take the piss out of this incident, it maybe a timely wake up call for all of us that there are lots of people out there in our community who are challenged mentally every day in their lives and it is worth remembering to reach out and ask RUOK and maybe and help them with information about appropriate assistance from Lifeline on 131114. Anyone who is a regular Go Card junkie in SEQ or user of the M1 will know that these type of people are out there amongst us judging by some of their behaviours that can be displayed randomly. I recently had some Nerangatang nutter ask me while I was on the train why do QR ask everyone to take their personal belongings with them when they get off the train. I told him – Mate, you’re telling the story, why ? His response was – In case they go bang ! Next day, there was a bomb scare at Helensvale railway Station.

Yours in hashing

CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2029 Pictures Here