Run: 1929

Date:20/10/2014

Location:Main Beach

Hare: Two Dogs & VD

Runners: 32

 View this weeks pictures on Mobile

Gold Coast Gourmet Hash

• Gold Coast Warriors and possible probationary Warriors regroup for secret meeting in Hanoi Vietnam
• 

• Carefree advises he will not be returning to the Gold Coast as at last he has a good job with long term financial security selling fresh coconuts in Hanoi.
• 

• Blue Card has reported from Vietnam that all working well again after recent operation.
• 

• Moonbeams has joined the Warriors on his new electric bike and looking forward to getting his Warrior Colours and Patch.

• Hash Cash Sir Slab is back just from a 4 weeks bike expedition but now has to rush off again for important Hash Duties in Thailand.

• RA Caustic and Missing Link are away with the Warriors in Vietnam getting some bike riding instructions and on probation as Warrior .

• On Sec Swindler will be away on long service leave for a few weeks. The position will be taken over by Acting On Sec Ballpoint.

• Rectum flies in from UK to join the warriors in Vietnam

Indy Handicap Run 1929 with 2 Dogs & Van Diemen

A excellent effort by 2 Dogs as the Hare and VD as the Nosh Chef.

Promoted as the Indy Handicap Run with full access to the Indy track resulted in a high attendance of 32 hashers around the boat ramp at Main Beach.

2 Dogs at the pre Run briefing explaining how his involved handicap system would work ..could anyone really understand this complicated handicaping system!! The pre-run briefing from 2 Dogs was very detailed with a well marked trail that he had spent all day on sunday marking with chalk arrows 2 Dogs listed the handicap for each of the runners ,walkers and BBQ helpers then one by one the hashers left to pick up the well marked trail.

Thanks 2 Dogs for creating a unique venue ( how did you ever think of this venue??) to make another great Annual Handicap Indy Run.

The GM once again was ready to take up his usual postion once all the runners had left next to the BBQ to make sure that all goes smoothly.

The GM as we well know by now is a very thoughtful person and dedicated to the Hash to ensure we are truly the Gold Coast Gourmet Hash as each week he supervises the Nosh Chef to ensure the nosh is Gourmet.

The Handicap Run

 

2 Dogs spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked handicap run. Well done for all the extra effort in setting the trail and working out the handicaps for each runner and walker.

As this was a handicap event the following is the list of runners and walkers as they returned.

• Faster Runner Botcho 19.35 minutes
• 1^st Runner – Sir Slab 20.10 minutes
• 2^nd Runner -Circumference   20.57 minutes
• 1^st Walker – Ferrett   29.19 minutes

Followed by

• Shetland
• Veteran
• Sir Black Stump
• Swoolen Colon
• Iceman
• Josephine
• Lurch
• Aussie
• Bent Banana
• Brootus( alias NOW)
• Sir Rabbitt
• Rockhard
• Sir Prince Valient
• Jigsaw
• Now Loved
• Mother Brown
• Hard on
• Weekly
• Swindler
• Shop Pony & Moonbeans ( tied or tired??)

 

To those Warrior Marshalls who went out into the dark night on their push bikes and assisted 2 Dogs to make sure all hashers were safe on the run l!.We say thanks you !!! another dedciated and amazing effort by the Warriors.

Warriors Marshalls on the bikes on hash trail

• Shat
• Kwakka
• Nasty

 

Run Critic Sir Slab commented

“Gentlemen, 32 decrepit old Bastards shuffled around the Indy track tonight … I personally thought Two Dogs did an amazing job with the handicapping!!”

The Nosh

Resident food CriTic SIR Prince Valient ” Magnificant seafood flown in directly from Tasmania especially for the Hash Nosh.

Well done VD for providing a quality 3 course meal…a great effort and excellent seafood meal that helped to make this another hash night of quality and true HASH nosh in a great waterfront location.

Menu:

• Pre-dinner snacks of copious quantities of cheese’s , corn chips , biscuits and a huge bowl of fresh popcorn
• Fresh Tasmanian Seafood Costa Indi served with top quality garden fresh salad and pasta
• Homemade Ice cream and gingerbread biscuits with a fresh Homemade Freddy’s Cake which was a real winner ( great outsourcing by Sir Slab)

THE CIRCLE

GM in Circle

Our GM complete in Katmandu Hat, Hash Chains and the Moses Staff and long flashy pants opened the Circle.

DD to:

• 2 Dogs & VD for Hare and Nosh
• Nasty for new shoes
• Sir Prince for public exposure and leaving his wet mark on the car tyre.
• Weekly, Swollen Colon & Ferrett as returning runners
• Cumsmoke for wearing thongs to HASH
• Warriors for meeting in a group of 8 persons as maximum allowed by law is 2 persons when part of a bike group

Icings

No icing as all hasher behaved this last week in an impeccable manner..Why is it that icings only occur when the RA Caustic is present..does he get some perveted joy from the suffering of his fellow hashers??

Useless Shirt

In Vietnam with Truck Tyres

Prick of the Week

In Beaudesert with MiscarriagE

Report by GM

Our GM interviewing a potential new member from Japan pre- Circle

Naming Ceremony

GM introduced and once again gave a warm welcome to:

Marc Anthony “NOW” Nephew of Weekly

As a Painter and Docker he could be named Cleopatra, Julius Caesar or Mona Lisa

Arise “Brewtus”

GM advised next week run will be by Hierarchy and will be Halloween night in the tunnel. A great night assured with our GM as the Master Chef. Wear a Halloween Mask.

Check the Hairline for details!

End of CIRCLE …….by Moonbeams @ 8.39pm

 

 

Swindler

 

Click on the image to view the results

Run: 1928

Date:13/10/2014

Location: Nerang

Hare: Aussie

Runners: 32

 View this weeks pictures on Mobile

Run 1928 with Aussie

 

A high attendance of 32 athletes gathered for this special Octoberfest event organised by Aussie. The athletes assembled in Brewery Carpark for the prerun instructions by Aussie.

Promoted as a sole effort with no outsourcing by Aussie as the Hare and the Nosh Chef of the German BBQ.

This would be the night that all those “Aussie Rumours” were put to rest with his actual attendence at the run. But would it be great night of quality german nosh and a true german run.

Aussie at the pre-run briefing explained how the run is planned! With arms waving in all directions it was obvious there was only one way we could run down the driveway …“run out there and turn left “

The GM this evening looked like he may be actually going for a run wearing his virtually new runners. However this was only a deceptive front as he was soon to take up his usual position next to the beer kegs and BBQ. He then called the rabble to order and sent the runners on their way at 6.20 pm with his signature words “ good luck finding the trail’.

Our GM was ably supported by fellow hashers Show Pony and Cumsmoke as they gathered around the keg as they discussed the freshly brewed non alcoholic, no preservative, no hangover beer that required continual tasting and testing for this important event before the runners and walkers returned.

After several this year of so called Best Run of the Year followed by the so called Best Nosh of the Year this was looking a hard act to follow for Aussie.

The Run

                   Q: Name the hasher who wanted to be on the run with his mates!!

Aussie told all assembled that he had spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked run. As the runners raced up the roadway Aussie instructed the big team of Walkers to remain behind for a detailed walk briefing.

2 Dogs, Flasher ,Jigsaw, Fanny Charmer and Missing Link led the runners out of the carpark and up the grassy hill. Following closely were Bent Banana,Sir Slab ,Rockhard, Sir Rabbitt and Circumference. Following were Sir Black Stump, ,Lurch were in full flight up the grassy hill hard on their heels. Good to see new runners Bondage and NOW keeping up with pace.

Front runner Botcho called On On as Sir Prince, Truck Tyres, Rug and Iceman were still moving up the steep grassy hill.

The first runners back again heavily sweating were Circumference and Botcho.They ran for a total of 19 minutes and came back puffing and sweating…are these real runners??

Run Advisor 2 Dogs advised the run based on his GPS was run distance 2.32 km. Well done all the hashers who did the whole run.

Run Critic 2 Dogs then also advised it was a great run with excellent markings. The free beer obviously affected him as well.

Sweep Bent Banana advised that Sir Blackie and Ballpoint went around three times as they tried to find the their way back to the brewery.

 

Last back was Miscarriage in the time of 42 minutes..obvoiously he did his own run somewhere??

It was an excellent run as no runners complained about the short distance of the run this week as they had access to the unlimited free booze.

A well planned run by Aussie.

THE Walkers

Warrior Now Loved still recuperating with a fractured scapula and showing no pain led the walkers up the hill. Hard On, Swindler ,Nasty , Sir AH , Phantom & Jigsaw again enjoyed the slow amble along the road as they discussed world affairs.

A very well planned walk which all walkers completed for the first time. A quick walk around the hill for a total time of 14 minutes over 1.9 km. Well done to this group of finely tuned athletes.

The walkers this week did quickly move around the hill and most were surprised to see the skyline lights of Surfers Paradise.

The German Brewery Location

 

Unlimited beer, wine and song supplied by your ever caring Hierarchy who have been now voted (by unanimous votes of all the hierarchy) as the

Best Ever Gourmet Hash Hierarchy.

The German Nosh

 

This tray of German food supplied at the Octoberfest bears no resemblance to what our Nosh Chef Aussie had planned and supplied.

Resident Food Sir Prince noted that he “could not tell the difference between the onions and the cabbage “

Lurch commented that the food was excellent and he had 4 helpings.

Nasty was very concerned that all the next day he would be in a vehicle with a friend and was very concered about the hot air he would be releasing after all the cabbage and onions he had eaten.

A good solo effort by Aussie for the effort in buying the sausages from the German butcher shop and the bread rolls, precut onions and cabbage from Coles.

Menu:

• Cabbage rolls that were was noted as “ inedible and could have been well past the use by date”
• Homemade German Sausages with heaps of onions on hot bread rolls. Unlimited sauces and mustards to give some taste
• Aussie Strudel +++

 

The CIRCLE

Our GM dressed as a German Fraulein complete with huge tits and long blond pig opened the Circle around the beer kegs.

RA Caustic then proceed to issue the charges.

 

The Down Downs:

• Aussie for Hare and Nosh
• Now Loved for turning up again after damaging the Lycra bike rider (an associate of the RA)
• 
• Nasty for his recent red wine episodes (surprise ..surprise!!!)

 

• Flasher for a Hash Rule 1 infringement
• Flasher for interruption of RA in the circle
• Lurch and Flasher as partners in the German foxtrot
• Ballpoint and Rug as partners in the German foxtrot
• NOW and Truck Tyres for no German outfit

Icing

The RA always desperate to use his carefully prepared ice try was looking for a new candidate. It appear that as Weekly has not been present for a couple of weeks the RA is now extracting his vengeance on a repetitious basis on Bent Banana.

Aussie stayed under the radar and was saved from an icing after all the free booze but not so for BB as the RA once again took his deranged vengeance on Bent Banana.

Fortunately for Bent Banana he has developed and patented a unique anti-icing tool that he uses to reduce the pain and suffering. It seemed that in the total fear of the icing situation he left behind on the ice some long black sticks.

Very soon we see Flasher is devouring these back sticks of jelly .Was he really indulging in coprophagia. It was later revealed as Flasher began to eat what appear to be BB’s black faeces it was in fact liquorice sticks that none other than Flasher himself had strategically placed.

All agreed so unfair for Bent Banana to be iced again!!

Useless Shirt

It appeared this week worn by Hard On who after suffering a DD for forgetting to bring it for the last few weeks passed it on to Truck Tyres.

Prick of the Week

After a long absence the previous POW Cumsmoke again after a DD for nonappearance at passed on to Miscarriage.

Report by GM

 

Our heavily lactating German Fräulein GM announced:

• Mixed Hash Tails Cocktail Party on Saturday 6^th December was now almost booked out so please be quick. All inclusive $30.
• Halloween Run coming up in tunnel. Will be a great night with GM as Michelin Chef in residence.

Oktoberfest Run PRIZE for best dress.

Several Awardees with German hats plus:

• Miscarriage for the new Berlin German Arab Gown
• GM as a German Fräulein
• Sir Rabbit in full German outfit

 

Awarded to Ballpoint for his appearance as a very well presented German Fräulein.

Congratulation Ballpoint and enjoy your win:

There has been no expense spared by your caring HEIRACHY FOR those who make the effort and go the extra mile.

THE PRIZE

Room keys for 2 nights at Melbourne Crown towers with an unlimited account for Room service Beer and wine including dinner for 4 at the 6 Star resturaunt.

End of CIRCLE …….by Show Pony @ 9.12pm

Time to kiss a German Fraulein and go home

 

Swindler

 

Run: 1927

Date:6/10/2014

Location: Burleigh Waters

Hare: Truck Tyre

Runners: 25

 

We acknowledge in this week’s Words Dirty Dancers thanks to the Gourmet Hash for the kind donation to the Cambodian Children’s Charity. We collected $150 on the charities behalf from the Gold Coast Gourmet Hash runners. Well done and a special thank you to all those who contributed.

 

Run 1928 with Truck Tyres

Who said Truck Tyres would forget to turn up, maybe would forget the food , or lose his way setting the run ??

Would this be the night that all those “Truckie Rumours” were put to rest with an excellent night of top quality nosh and great run.

Promoted as a sole effort with no outsourcing by Truck Tyres as the Hare ,the Nosh Chef and assistant Booze Master.

A high attendance of 25 hashers for a holiday day run was impressive as the word was out that Truckie had been preparing the nosh and run for the last couple of weeks so all looked promising.

The group of 24 dedicated athletes asembled in the Library Carpark for an early start in the bright afternoon sun. In fact one athlete named VD arrived at 6.10 in time for the nosh..( In another senior moment VD forgot the start time that on public holidays we always start at 5pm !!!)

Yes, this is Truck Tyres at the pre-run briefing explaining how the run is planned!!

• Will he be able to redeem himself this week and save himself from an icing!!
• Will the Run and Nosh compete as the Best Trailer Nosh and Run of the Year.
• Will we be able to understand his directions.

The pre-run briefing from Truck Tyres was very detailed with promises of more of the same ,same, same ..unfortunatley in his excitement truckie parked his 4 wheel drive over his hash marking so we could all only guess what they were!!!

As always Truck Tyres did not let truth get in the way of a good Hash run briefing. With arms waving in all directions as he held a large piece of gyprock he advised runners to take off with those mumbled Hare Words …“walk out there and turn left “

The GM dressed in the G Spot Hash Shirt and his trademark flip flops was obviously ready to take up his usual postion next to the wine as he called the rabble to order and sent the group on their way at 5.10 pm with his signature words “ good luck finding the trail’ .

This time with support from Sir Rabbitt ,Botcho and Caustic ,GM gathered them around the trailer as they discussed the fine wine that needed tasting for an important event.

After so many this year of so called Best Run of the Year followed by the so called Best Nosh of the Year this was looking a hard act to follow for Truck Tyres.

The Run

Truck Tyres spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked as he advised he did several recces to set it up. Well done for the extra effort Truck Tyres.

The runners raced up the roadway while Truckie instructed the big team of Walkers to remain behind for a detailed briefing.

Bent Banana and Circumference led the runners out of the carpark. 2 Dogs ,Jigsaw, Fanny Charmer , Missing Link , Rug and Iceman were in full flight up the road hard on their heels. Good to see new runner NOW keeping up with pace.

On On was called several times on the run as Sir Blackie , Lurch and Rockhard moving fast soon realised they were following Thirsty Thursdays markings!!.

The first runner back sweating was Circumference via the incorrect rail..he ran for a total of 24 minutes and came back puffing and sweating.

Run Advisor 2 Dogs advised the run based on his GPS was 1hour and 3 minutes and run distance 9.7 km. Well done those few hashers who did the whole run.

Run Critic 2 Dogs then also advised it was a great run with excellent markings.

Sweep Bent Banana again noted that most runners this week did not do the full run except him but said was by all accounts it was an excellent and well planned run by Truckie.

Good effort Truckie for an well planned and well reccee run.

The Walkers

         Q: Name the walker wearing the blue shirt

Warrior Now Loved, recuperating with a fractured scapula after his altercation with a couple of lycra bike riders, led the pack around the lake.

Again this pathectic bunch who turn up each week for the wine and food, this week decided that as they could still see in the daylight and not suffering from night blindness they would do the 6km walk. Yes..this is one of the walkers.Sir Prince Valient not really wanting to be with the walkers.

The walkers this week did quickly move around the lake and most were surprised to see so much wildlife at this time of the day as they struggled around the sandy pathways.

Hard On ,Kwakka, Shat ,Swindler and Blue Card (proudly wearing his new blue hasadashery shirt) enjoyed the slow amble as they discussed world affairs.

The Trailer Nosh

For Nosh Chef Truck Tyres it was always going to be a hard act to follow after the recent weeks with prevois contenders saying that at this stage they had been voted “The Best Trailer Nosh of the Year?”

The feeding frenzy commenced once word was out that the homemade chicken noodle soup actually was full of real chicken pieces.

Resident food Critic Rug “..excellent chichen soup, lagagna was full of flavour and the homemake trifle was amazing’ ..this bought loud applause from the assembled mass.

Lurch commented that he could not believe that he was in the “Garden of Pleanty”.

Botcho gave an unbiased opinion that the salad he assisted to prepare was very well put together.

Well done Truck Tyres for no outsourcing and providing a trailer 3 course meal with zero outsourcing. A great effort and very tasty homemade food recipes that made this an excellent hash night of quality and true homemade hash nosh.

Menu:

• Chicken Soup with fresh hot Turkish breads.
• Homemade lasagna with heaps of fresh salad.
• Lashings of homemade trifle.

The CIRCLE

Once again our GM complete in Katmandu Hat, Hash Chains and the Moses Staff and long flashy pants opened the Circle.

DD to:

• NOW for his association with Weekly
• Sir Black Stump left his hash plate behind at last hash run
• Now Loved for damaging the Lycra bike rider.
• Truck Tyres for Hashy Birthday
• Blue Card for interruption of GM in the circle
• Lurch for returning runner as he was very busy “dealing” last week

Icing

Weekly has been at the unfortunate end of the RA Caustic final judgment seems to get iced every week. But this week Weekly was not on the roll call!!

The RA desperate to use his carefully prepared ice try was looking for a candidate. Would Truck Tyres be able to stay under the radar and saved from an icing after a great run and great homemade food.

Afraid not as RA Caustic sought vengeance on poor Truck Tyres. ……..but all decided in full chorus that better Truckee get iced than they do so let Caustic take his deranged vengeance on Truckee.

Fortunately Bent Banana has developed and patented a unique an anti-icing tool that he kindly loaned to Truckee to reduce the pain and suffering

All agreed so unfair!!

Useless Shirt:

Still Missing in Inaction

Prick of the Week:

Still Missing in Inaction

Report by GM

GM introduced and gave a warm guest welcome to:

• Mark “NOW” .Nephew of Weekly
• GM announced the mixed Hash Tails Cocktail Party on Saturday 6^th Book now as seats are limited.

Gift for GM

Once again with tears in his eyes saying “the best gift so far this year” the GM accepted a thoughtful gift from Now Loved. This unique gift at great expense just returned from Bali. A flying Air Asia key ring given for free to all passengers.

GM advised next week run will be by Aussie at Nerang Brewery. Oktoberfest Run. Run $20 includes unlimited beer and food with PRIZE for best dress.

End of CIRCLE …….by Two dogs @ 8.10pm

 

Swindler

 

Run: 1926

Date:29/09/2014

Location: Molendinar

Hare: Show Pony & Flasher

Runners: 32

Link to pictures Mobile

Gold Coast Gourmet Hash

There is no doubt that the Words in last few weeks have tested the intellectual capacity of our Gourmet Giants. After a few weeks of high quality intellectual Words heavily punctuated with terminoilogy that needed a Urban Thesaurus to find synonyms, antonyms and understand the related meanings your old On Sec is back. Yes, at last a detailed description of the evening events and the weeks Hash News told with truth with never letting the facts get in the way of a good story.

Special Thanks to Ballpoint and to Fanny Charmer for their deep and meaningful contribution to Words while I was os. Total sympathy to Aussie for destroying his computer hard drive with the evil Red while attempting to write the Words but no thanks whatsoever to M. Latrine for a total dereliction of duty in the face of that evil enemy Red.

 

NOTE:

This week Words has a question for members that our GM will ask next week at Hash. Will you know the answer or will you be humiliated in front of your fellow hashers??

 

• Blue Card has reported all parts are working well again after having a 2inch diameter Bunnings garden hose inserted into his manhood by a 20 year old nurse in Pindari Holiday Resort. Sounds a bit Kinky!!

• Warrior No Loved while racing along Hedges Avenue at full speed to meet his fellow warriors for the Friday morning road race was taken out by a couple of lycra bike riders…he is now recuperating with a fractured Scapula and from all reports he will be off the road for a few weeks.

 

• Crocodile recovering well from recent op and will be back to Hash next week

 

• Moonbeams returned from train trip north on his new electric bike will be back next week

 

• Front Runner Botcho has fallen in a heap. He was given special dispensation by GM to sit in circle after reporting in with Shaggers Back.

 

• Flasher will be the MC at his daughter’s wedding this week. Have a great day

 

• Sir Slab on marathon charity bike ride in SA

Run 1927 with Show Pony & Flasher

A joint effort by Show Pony & Flasher with Flasher as the Hare and Show Pony the Nosh Chef.

Promoted as another Run and Nosh of the Year resulted in a high attendance of 32 hashers for what was to be a totally predictable evening.

Yes, this is Flasher at the pre Run briefing expaning how it would all work !!

Will Flasher be able to redeem himself this week and save himself from another icing!!

Will the Run and Nosh compete with Miscarriage as the Best Trailer and Bush Bush Run of the Year.

 

The group of 32 dedicated athletes circled under the stars on the concrete driveway of Show Pony’s factory with only the glowing light of Flasher torch illuminating the markings .Thanks Show Pony for creating a unique venue ( how did you ever think of this venue??) and be very well prepared to make another great Hash night..

The pre-run briefing from Flasher was very detailed with promises of forests, shiggy , water , dirt tracks, wild animals etc

As always Flasher did not let truth get in the way of a good Hash run. Finally with arms waving in all directions he advised runners to take off with those mumbled Hare Words …“walk out the gate and turn left to the top of the road “

The GM dressed in flip flops and obviously ready to take up his usual postion next to the wine called the rabble to order and sent the group on their way at 6.20 pm with his signature words “ good luck finding the trail’ . Once again he immedialty set about that impoatsnt event ..setting up the fire in the Beer drum ..so no doublt as he was to stay behind he would be near the warm fire.

Yes, our GM is a very thoughtful person and dedicated to the Hash to ensure we are truly the GCGourmet Hash as he forgoes his exercise each week to ensure the meal is perfect.

After so many this year of so called Best Run of the Year followed by the so called Best Nosh of the Year this was looking a hard act to follow for Flasher and Show Pony.

 

The Run Warm Up

This week we saw 2 Dogs and Fanny Charmer doing stretching exercises.

 

The Run

Flasher spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked as he advised he did 3 recces to set it up. Well done for the extra effort Flasher.

The runners and walkers raced up the roadway only to find after 600 metres had to retrun to where they started with Flasher waiting for them.

They all then moved into the dark abyiss across the vacant land with torches blazing to find the promised forest.

Flasher , Caustic , Miscarriage, Bent Banana and Ballpoint were leading the runners up the concrete pathway into the dark abyiss of the nearby forest adjacent.

Good to see new runners NOW and SOW keeping up the pace with Shetland hard on their heels.

Jigsaw, Fanny Charmer , Veteran ,Truck Tyres, Rug ,Josephine and Circumference were in full flight up the rocky and slippery hill. Flasher was waiting at the checks to make sure each hasher went the right way ..well done Flasher for your assistance in saving your fellow hashers by the altercation with the driver of the car who attempted to run you over.

On On was called several times on the run as Miscarriage ,Iceman and Rockhard moved into the tunnel of love to disturb a young couple enagaging in an activity that most Hashers have forgotten.

The first runners back via the incorrect rail though the bush at the rear of the Show Pony’s factory were Caustic & Veteran at 6.41pm ..yes..they ran for a total of 21 minutes and came back puffing and sweating.

Flasher somehow managed to get back first again but it seems he was very worried about the missing Truck Tyres so he raced out again into the dark looking for him.Very thoughful Flasher ..you should me more appreciated!!!

Sir Rabbit,on the comeback trail came in sweating profusely. Missing Link appeared with Sir Black Stump ,Truck Tyres, Sir Prince Valient and Josephine in a lather of sweat.

2 Dogs advised the run based on his GPS was 1hour and 13 minures and run distance 9.01 km. Well done those few hashers who did the whole run.

Run Critic 2 Dogs advised it was a very good run with excellent markings

“Run went well for the the first 600 meteres until we ended up back where we started with Flasher waiting for us “ 2 Dogs also commented “Amazing how Flasher found new territory” .. Ballpoint concurred that it was an excellent run.

Run Critic Josephine commented the run was well over time and the “on backs” were rediculous..no one really cared as they all unaminously decided Flasher did a great job and Weekly should be iced instead of Flasher.

Sweep Bent Banana noted that most runners this week did not do the full run but that said was by all accounts an excellent and well planned run by Flasher.

Great effort Flasher for an well planned and well reccee run.

 

The Walkers

 

Again this pathectic bunch who turn up each week for the wine and food ( and to get away from the wife) pretend to walk. Yes ,this group grows bigger each week and moves slower.

The walkers this week did quickly move forward across the grass using and some supporting equiptment as they struggled up the steep roadway.

Again we see those ex runners Van Diemen and Full of Shit who enjoyed the slow amble are now classified to the ranks of the dedicated professional walkers.

The dedicated professional permanent walkers of Carefree, Hard On , Weekly, Kwakka, Sir AH & Swindler all moved out as usual at snails pace which they kept up for the 2 km walk .Great comraderie these brave bunch of Hash Walkers continue to experience.

Full of Shit not used to city life somehow got lost on the Walk..What a worry he is becoming!!.

 

The Nosh Soup Kitchen Line up

Yes..it could well be the Rosies line up!!

For Nosh Chef Show Pony it was always going to be a hard act to follow after the recent weeks with every one saying that at this stage they have been voted “The Best Trailer Bush Nosh of the Year?”

It was looking like the GM Kitchen Bitch who continues to brainwash us that “the hash in now truly back into gourmet” may have had no job this evening due to the Show Pony’s professional pre-planning and outsourcing. But thanks Show Pony for letting GM flip the eggs or our GM would have felt totally left out and deflated that he had no job!

Resident food CriTic Fanny ChARMER …” nearly blew my arse out but was cooked to perfection” while Sir Prince noted that “if he farted he may end up in Oodnadatta”

Shetland gave a totally Unbiased report: Excellent food and beautifully presented…IT’S obvious he knows where his bread is buttered.

Well done Show Pony for providing a Trailer 4 course meal with Lots of Outsourcing…a great effort and excellent food that helped to make this ANOTHER REAL hash night of quality and true HASH nosh in a great location.

Menu:

• Pre-dinner snacks of Smith’s Potato Crisps
• Top quality and very tasty Goulash Meat and vegies served with hot Turkish breads
• Korean Kimchi something?? with cabbage ,rice ,noodles that tasted sooooooooooooo good.( great outsourcing Show Pony )
• Homemade ice-cream and Chocolate Mud Cake.

 

The CIRCLE

 

 

Our GM complete in Katmandu Hat, Hash Chains and the Moses Staff and long flashy pants opened the Circle around the glowing fire he so proudly created.

 

DD to:

• Flasher & Show Pony for Hare and Nosh
• Sir Prince for wearing his ISIS jacket

1. WhEre was thIS photo taken oF PhantoM & Sir prince

• NOW & SOW for their association with Weekly
• Blue Card for interruption of GM in the circle
• Ballpoint for creating 40 plastic images of himself to bait Pizza
• VD and Missing Link for damaging Aussie on the recent bike ride
• Shetland for failing his bus drivers test just for writing off the bus

 

Icings

• Weekly as he gets iced every week and this week was for the joke he told
• Bent Banana for developing and patenting a unique an anti-icing tool

 

 

 

 

Useless Shirt: Missing in Inaction

 

Prick of the Week: Missing in Inaction

 

 

Full of Piss and Wind Award

 

Blue Card awarded to Ballpoint. No one could understand why?

 

Report by GM

GM announced your ever caring hierarchy will this year have a mixed Hash Tails Cocktail Party on Saturday 6^th December. Book now as seats are limited

 

GM introduced and gave a warm welcome to:

Mark “NOW” .Nephew of Weekly

Brad “SOW’ …Son of Weekly

Gift for GM

Once again with tears in his eyes saying “the best gift so far this year” the GM accepted a thoughtful gift from Swindler who just returned from Japan. It will certainly be a welcome addition to his Mankini wardrobe.

 

GM advised next week run will be by??…“he could not remember who”

Suggest you check your Hairline!

 

 

End of CIRCLE …….by JoSephine @ 9.25pm

 

 

Swindler

 

 

 

Run: 1925

Date:22/09/2014

Location:Burleigh Waters

Hare: Caustic, Kitchen Bitch & helpers

Runners:36

Link to pictures Mobile
Making a Hash of Scotland
Chatting to most Gourmet hashers last Monday evening, I got the distinct impression that ‘relief’ was the order of the day as the sky had not fallen in despite the Scots voting to remain firmly attached to the welfare teat of Mother England. The thousand year old umbilical chord is said to be in pristine condition too….Scotland the Brave indeed!!!!!!
Rock Hard, an astute Planet Earth observer and a current affairs ‘freak’ was by far the most animated:

-“It fuc*!<n shits me to tears this bullshit about how teeny weeny Scotland punches way above its weight. What the f#*k have the Scots ever done for the fuc*!<g planet? Fuck all that’s what…… apart from Scotch whisky that is.

-“You mean” I said sheepishly, “apart from:

Penicillin;

Porridge;

the Propeller;

Postage stamp glue;

Paraffin;

Pencil sharpeners;

P-trap toilets; and

Piano foot-pedals”

-“My point exactly” he continued, these bastards couldn’t organise a root in a bloody brothel. Fuc#!<n useless they are.”

-“But didn’t they also invent:

Capitalism;

Chloroform;

Colour photography;

Chicken Tikka Masala;

Cloning (Dolly the sheep);

(Billy) Connolly;

Christmas trees;

(Root) Canal therapy; and also

Condoms

-“Maybe they did” he replied, “but that’s nothing to write home about. Fuc# me!!”

-“I think you’ll find that they also had a hand in:

Telegraphic transfers;

Tartan;

Televisions;

Tea bags;

(Rubber) Tyres;

Tampons;

Trains; and

Tea towels”

It’s a moot point but Rock Hard makes it well: no one remembers how great Scotland was and how the world has benefitted from its genius. No one remembers because if contemporary Scotland isn’t quite the arsehole of the world, it is most certainly its armpit. The spirit of William Wallace (remember Aussie Mel on his big black horse inspiring his troops to a famous victory over the Pommies with the words: “the enemy may take your life……..but they will NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!!!!”), that spirit is long dead. And in its place there is a nation so pathetic………….. so feeble……….. so bloody useless that it can only but wallow in a swamp of welfare dependency. All paid for by the Poms.

Our very own CAUSTIC CRUSADER was born and bred in that swamp. At 15 years of age he weighed in at a very healthy 120kg, made up of deep fried cheddar sandwiches and his penchant for deep fried Mars bars. He would scoff a couple for brekky (without toast), two more for lunch and another one for dinner, after his deep fried cheese sandwiches. He’d left school by then and turned to a life of petty crime. His old man had a word:

-“Wat d’fook d’ewe tink yor doon Jimmeh?” Straighen yor fook’n self ooot or yor orf too fook’n Australia”.

-” d’the ‘ave Mars bars n’ Australia?” was all CC could respond.

It’s fair to conclude that the intervening years have been kind to Caustic. Not only has he evolved to become one of Australia’s most eminent and (in)famous scientist, but he is also a pillar of the GCH3.

The run on Monday was a tribute to his progress as a human being but, more generally, to the greatness of the human spirit. It reflected his trip in life from the struggle of the Glaswegian beginning (climbing the bushland of the West Burleigh headland) to the enlightment period of the new world -Australia- (the placid, peaceful banks of Tallebudgerra Creek and its sandy beaches). Proving his Hash credentials once more, CC treated the pack to sought after ‘virgin territory’ i.e. a patch of bushland not yet decimated by wide-eyed developers or previously hashed. It was 9kms of pure Hashing bliss.

During the ensuing crit’, resident run assessor Two Dogs, could barely contain hisself:

-“Fuc#! that was good” he said excitedly, “just like having a good Chinese”.

Miscarriage thought the run was “a bloody brilliant Hash experience” but for the fact that he found the terrain “too flat”.

-“I like me runs like I like me custard” he explained, “with bloody big lumps in it”.

Shat was asked to comment on the walk and he too was very complimentory (Q: does this bloke ever have a bad word to say about anybody or anything?)

-“A lot of the walkers thought the walk was a bit too hard and a bit too lenghty GM, but I thought it was just perfect”.

But as good as the run was, it was his effort in the culinary stakes which truly set CC’s run apart from the usual debacle. Buggered runners were greeted with delightful finger-foody, tit-bitty, Quichy thinggies oozing with taste and flavour. Entree comprised of bbq seared fresh tuna wrapped in crisp lettuce leaves and seasoned with a lovely San Choi Ban type dressing. For Mains, the troops were treated to a Steak sanger, unlikely to make the Michelin star rating system, but a steak sanger to die for. Aged beef fillet par excellence.

It is indeed a measure of the Gourmet quality of the feed that by the time dessert was served, resident guts Lurch could not indulge hisself. “Sorry mate but I’m just too bloody full”. He missed out on a crispy waffle topped with marinated strawberries and a dollop of double cream ice cream and sauce.

Sounding out a crit’ on the nosh, GM Kitchen Bitch was overwhelmed by a massive: “Nosh of the year” refrain. Circumference presented the only dissenting voice when he said: “Bloody great tucker CC but the caramel sauce on the ice cream was, in my humble opinion, slight overkill.”

Circle time and the Grand Master got to work immediately. Weekly was iced for not paying attention to Lord GM and, despite his valid reason that he’d left his hearing aid in the car, his pleading fell on deaf ears. While he was cooling his bollocks, GM introduced Weekly’s nephew, a Hash virgin, and asked to rate his uncle. He appeared a decent enough lad but he is a dead set fucking liar.

In another example of the quality of the night’s fare, Rug was given a Down for an uncharacteristic display of poor manners. Upon being called to the feeding trough, and instead of lining up in a prim and proper Pommie way like the rest of the troops, he burst his way into the queue eager for his plate to be filled. He showed absolutely no remorse.

RA Caustic got in on the act, and much to everybody’s astonishment he said: “Today’s Hash was a stand-up Hash, so all you lazy bastards who sat to eat come in here for a Down.” As the Circle distintegrated, 30 blokes stepped into its imaginary centre and copped their penance.

Shat was called in to replace Weekly on the ice for the petty crime of calling the RA a ‘c###’. And quick as a flash the GM interrupted: “Remember fellas that this is a new-age Hash and we do not condone personal abuse. Those of you who feel slighted please understand that the Hierarchy feels your pain and wish to apologise most profusely. Having said that, it is entirely OK for the Grand Master to call you c#nts a bunch of fu#kin# c#nts.

Weekly, revelling in his ‘Useless’ sweater, was asked to handed on. “I feel most comfortable in this” he said “and I’m most reluctant to pass it on. “However I reckon Hard On deserves it…..”

Sir Prince Valiant entered the Circle to handover the POW. He looked particularly handsome with the condom on his noggin.

-“I have 3 candidates for this much sought after award, but really it can only go to one bloke: Cumsmoke, for ripping off my neighbour and pulverising her rose garden, you’re the POW.”

There was a last call for Bent Banana to be iced for RA abuse. Caustic revealed that he had wanted to ice BB earlier but with the shortage of ice and the fact that BB has a habit of leaving behind all sorts of bits and pieces from his arse, he decided that decorum should prevail and iced him last.

Before closing the Circle, a sheepish Rock Hard asked to say a few final words:

-“It is clear that not all Scots are useless; it is also clear that in Caustic Crusader the spirit of William Wallace lives on and on and on and on….

And on those heartfelt words, Josephine closed the Circle.

On2,

BallPoint