Location: Botcho’s Golf Club
Hare: Botcho
Hashers: 27
What a great day. Thanks to assistant chefs, dish washers and trailer attendants.
I’m a man of few words LOL!! let the pictures tell the story.
Watch the Video filmed by Flasher
On On
Botcho
Run 1891
Date:27/01/2014
Location: Tamborine
Hare: Rectum
Runners: 27
A special “Run” this week – the Great Aussie BBQ for Australia Day.
Somebody said it was a good bushy run but Veteran said it caused him flashbacks to his time in Vietnam and could feel PTSD coming on.
The gourmet snags cooked by Kitchen Bitch made the perfect entrée.
Our resident food critic Rug thought the meal was perfect particularly as it was prepared by a fellow Yorkshire man. He loved the idea of keeping the Nosh in budget by using local road kill for the gourmet homemade kangaroo pie.
The homemade ice cream and lamingtons kept the harshest critics silent. Good effort Rectum.
If the pastry was not so light that it blew away, the Nosh score would have been 10/10.
Good to see Moonbeams there and in his own inimitable style call “END OF CIRCLE”
………………………………………………………………………………………………..
JOKES OF THE WEEK FROM CAUSTIC
The HASHMAN
The Hashman is a woman’s best friend.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.
He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do;
to live without fear and forget regret.
He will enable her to express her deepest emotions
and give in to her most intimate desires.
He will make sure she always feels that she’s the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.
No wait…… sorry……. I’m thinking of wine.
It’s WINE that does all that.
Sorry.
SHATS BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO JOS
“You never surprise me” Jos moaned to her long suffering husband called “Shat”.
“Buy me a surprise for my birthday. Something that accelerates from 0 to 150 in under 4 seconds, … and I’d prefer a blue one!, Jos hinted.
Happy and excited Jos was counting down the days for her birthday.
And finally Jos got the beautiful present that Shat had thoughtfully chosen for her …
Shat’s dead now … but he died a legend.
Run 1890
Date:20/01/2014
Location: Old Fart
Hare: Pacific Pines
Runners: 37
The real GM Now Loved made a surprise appearance at this weeks run. He explained that he had been down to Tasmania to catch VD! That is just sick.
We all circled up in the backyard of Old Farts home on the side of a mountain at Pacific Pines.
Our “as yet unnamed” Hasher Paul who for all intents and purposes will currently remain nameless was asked to comment on the run. In an effort to suck up he gave a grossly overrated score of 7.8 and said it was hilly and well marked. Old Fart remarked that locals don’t call them hills but cardios.
Sir Slab this week in the walkers group scored it 10 out of 20 which the GM quickly averaged s 7.85. Catching VD in Tasmania seems to have resulted in brain damage.
Swindler on the nosh ” very tasteful and could well be Old Farts signature dish”. In a mood of generosity he scored it 8.5 with Blackie suggesting “a deduction of 1.5 because there was no potatoes”.
Rug our resident food critic never backward in offering some feedback scored it an 8.25 “I particularly thought the virtual salad was a nice touch”.
Cum Smoke thought the dessert was “sterling” WTF?
Nasty our nosh host the previous week was called out again. He had presented the receipt to Hash Cash for a reimbursement. On close examination of the itemised receipt it turns out there were several cans of dog and cat food included? Go figure. Any hashers been sitting in the middle of the street licking themselves and barking lately? Darwin Don 92 and just returned from Africa last week had mumbled “even a Zulu wouldn’t eat that”.
Crocodile was the acting RA in the continuing absence of Miscarriage now reportedly in the UK for the MIL’s funeral after having abandoned his 3 children in the snow in the US. He is unable to return to the US as he is wanted for “reckless abandonment of children”. After trying to claim on his travel insurance so his kids could be moved from a homeless shelter his claim was rejected because HE was not there with the kids. A debacle no less.
Flasher got a DD for eating his dinner with his right hand – he is considering converting and is adopting Arab culture. Somebody should tell him he is using the wrong hand. Ferret ever the sensitive new age guy was outed for declaring in the kitchen in front of Mrs Old Fart “Not as good as Flashers trifle”
KB reported his horse was still with foal and the MRI scan indicates a Shetland. Flasher is definitely in the frame.
The returners – Care Free, Phantom, Ferret and last but not least our almost forgotten GM Now Loved.
The POW – Fanny Charmer after not too much beating around the bush bestowed the honour on Ferret for being responsible for the wrong address for the run going on the website. Ferret setting a bad precedent as a member of the highly revered Hierarchy accepted the honour even though the GM has decreed that no member of the Hierarchy can be given the POW.
Next weeks run – Mt Tamborine on Australia Day RSVP on the website. clicke here for details Apparently it is $5 for your wife but free if you bring somebody else’s wife. Several enterprising hashers much to the consternation of Hash Cash are going to do some wife swapping for the day.
JOKE OF THE WEEK FROM CAUSTIC
Two Aussies, Ferret & Kwakka, were adrift in a life boat. While rummaging through the boat’s provisions, Ferret stumbled across an old lamp.
Ferret rubbed it vigorously, sure enough out popped a genie .
This genie, however was a little different.
The Genie stated Ferret could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.
Without giving much thought Ferret blurted out,”Turn the entire ocean into beer. Make that Victoria Bitter!”
The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the sea turned into that hard-earned thirst quencher.
The genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances.
Kwakka looked disgustedly at Ferret whose wish it was had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment Kwakka said,
“Nice going, you Dickhead!
Now we’re going to have to piss in the boat.”
Two of our best taking a rest
C’mon leave a comment and support your mates.
Hash Summer Golf Cup! Click here for details
Run 1888
Date:6/01/2014
Location:Grassy Park, Coombabah
Hare: Rug
Runners: 22
Run 1888 by Swindler
(Blue Card delegated this very highly paid position while he is away playing Grandfathers)
Breaking News
Sir Prince reported that Show Pony was recovering from his operation in 644B at Allamander. The best news was that he just had taken his first crap in 4 days ( the doctor very happy as this means he did not leave any swabs inside) and then Show Pony advised Sir Prince that he was ready for some real action ( meaning Bom Bom!! )
New Flash
Moonbeams is also recovering well from surgery and Croc advised that on his recent visit Moonbeams was having races around the hospital ward with his walker with one of the other patients.( obviously coming good as well)
The Run
Monday afternoon 5pm and sheer panic prevailed at the Rug household as Mr & Mrs Rug had spent all day to prepare top quality chicken shish kabobs. Mrs Rug asked Mr Rug to look out the window and he looked through the thick green, misty clouds swirling outside his window with the huge impending hail storm about to hit Hansford Road ,Coombabah.
Rug could immediately see a major problem developing for him ….another total hash f….k up with him facing the certainty of being castigated by the GM in front of his fellow hashers and made to undergo the customary punishment of a Down Down created by Truck Tyres….(even TT is not sure of the recipe he uses and everyone agrees they can’t get any worse)
Luck was on the Rugged Hare side as the brave and hardy group of Hash Men assembled beside the smoking brazier filled with charcoal (was this to keep us warm from the rain and hail or was it for the entrée prawns on the Barbie?)…. the hail luckily passed by to close to Rectum home high in the hills of Tambourine Mountain.
The Rugged Hare advised the group of a mid-way drink stop (nice touch) and then advised that in spite of the wind and hail the trail would be easy to find as he had packed rocks on the paper that by now would have certainly been washed away …”so just looks for the rocks”.
As the Runners and Walkers set off in the direction of “that way” it was quickly noticed that the group of walkers had dramatically expanded from the usual team of Croaky Crocodile, Bad Legs Kwakka and Sore Knees Swindler.
The following listed aliments gives some indication of the strength of the hash members.
The runners eventually returned led by Rectum (again), Flasher, Two Dogs, Botcho, Circumference and Sir Black Stump …They were quickly followed by Lurch, Mademoiselle Latrine, Aussie, Missing Link and Sir Rabbit. Like a pack of staving animals they quickly devoured the tasty cheese and biscuits with lashings of fine olives lovingly prepared by Rug.
2 Dogs scored the run 7.5 despite lack of a visible trails.
The NOSH Preparation
As Rug slaved over his relocated Brazier attempting to cook the chicken shish kabobs he soon realized he was not quite following the Masterchef’s instructions. Mrs Rug gave him some more advice and suggested in future he should listen to her more often (Why do woman know so much!!).
At this stage Rectum and his TV food watching advisor experts took over, lit the gas barbie, ripped apart every one of those shish kabobs that Mr & Mrs Rug had spent all day preparing and proceed to stew these fresh delicious finely cut portions on the hotplate…Can you image how distraught this made Mr & Mrs Rug. Despite this setback Rug still struggled to cook at least 1 chicken shish kabobs on the charcoal fire as he had seen done on TV to prove he could be just like Jamie Oliver.
The Circle
At this stage the GM (obviously a lot wiser than it may appear at times) decided to call the Circle while we waited for the Nosh.
Down Downs:
Rug.,.called away from cooking duties and felt a little let down when his best mate Manuel from Spain refused to acknowledge this friendship.( looks like Manny is a true future hash man).
Botcho.. Drinking in excess at drink stop & offering a fresh apple to Sir Black Stump as peace offering ( suspect poisoned as left behind by Blackie)
Rectum ..for his attempt to overcook Rugs meal to avoid the Bali food poisoning problem
POW
Flasher produced a letter from QANTAS CEO Alan Joyce. Flasher sure moves in very high circles…he presented this letter to Swindler as repayment for getting POW last week in an attempt to insure that Swindler will have to travel down the back of the plane from now on. He then proceeded to hand POW on to Caustic. Suspect that he was part of the group at HO last week with Nasty when the comment was made on several occasions of “NICE RACK!!!” I hear that the next Splinter lunch may be at the old Evergreen Nursery.
The NOSH
The Nosh finally arrived and what a spread!!!!.
Voted as the best salad of the year accompanied by copious quantities of chicken shish kabobs pieces. Almost everyone went back for seconds and some thirds!! Rectum plate was so full it was overflowing as he said with his mouth full of food….“ why don’t others produce food like this “??.
Rug then produced huge bowl of fresh fruit salad consisting of Mangoes, Watermelon and Melon.
Everyone agreed it was well worth the wait and comments were heard that KB may be about to lose his crown!!……Voted 9.65
The distant sound of Moonbeams calling “End of Circle” was heard around 9.20pm..a very late night for most but a great night and great Nosh.
Well done Rug
Hash Golf Day
Friday 31st January!! Nine holes of golf followed by a gourmet lunch