PLEASE NOTE; Due to your glorious Hierarchy’s ability to manage funds, the weekly food contribution has now risen to $135.00 (which includes the fact you do not pay the $15.00 on the night). However if you do not spend the full amount please don’t claim it as we will know by the quality and quantity of food and launch an immediate enquiry, and subsequent reprisals.

In the event you have a great event/idea planned and wish to spend above the allocated amount you must pre arrange this with the Hash Cash, Blackstump, who will kindly advise you to go “jump” (or on very rare occasions consider your request). Nights at pubs/restaurants will attract a $5.00 fee.

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Run: 1764
Date: Monday 22nd August 2011
Hare: Ferret
Venue: Ferret’s abode, Mermaid Beach
Runners: 26

Weeks to AGPU: 43
The debacles continue. The RA, after working overtime on Sunday controlling the inclement weather, decided not to attend on Monday thus causing unprecedented driving rain, quickly destroying any possible attempt by Ferret to set a run.
I’m sure he’s thrilled his run was swapped around. The venue was quickly cancelled and the reasonable crowd (obviously no one has a life on Mondays bar Hash) made their way to Ferret’s abode to dry and protected surrounds (and a chance to raid his wine cabinet).
Fortunately Sir Point Two, on his last drive for the Northern Alliance arrived just in time otherwise we would have been no wiser to the venue change and would have been forced to an evening of beers at the Kurrawa Surf Club or similar (pity about that).

The rain was still pouring, and the free Becks was flowing for Ferret’s birthday, as a small pack of 7 runners departed. This consisted of Blackstump, who after his Hawaii trip and having to endure the hardship of economy class, decided the North Burleigh Surf Club was enough.

The second pack of Rock Hard, Missing link and myself decided to time our run in order to return by 7:15pm, in true Hash tradition and turned near Burleigh central. And the final pack of over achievers of Miscarriage, Rectum and Bent Banana, decided that the entry to Burleigh Hill was the mark.

Apparently Miscarriage, still hyped up from his grovelling, snout troughing session at his stadium opening in Mackay, suggested they continue through the park, only to see it fall on deaf ears. Rectum thought he was lost on the way home but fortunately he could home in on the constant drone of Cumsmoke’s ramblings.

Back at the Ferret cave the group marvelled at his collection of ropes (one can only guess what for), number plates (must have worked on them on the inside) and cruise ship certificates (seeming to indicate he keeps going in circles). I also noted that there were some 15 odd awards, hanging on the wall for Romeo (Mrs Ferret), showing her success at real estate and obviously the bread winner for many many years.
The nosh consisted of tomato soup, gourmet “Barry” burgers and birthday cake, which received a very high 8.5 mark from Cumsmoke, who of course consumed some three burgers and god knows what else. Veteran of course had to have a “right of reply” after having Ferret suggest his nosh lacked something and mentioned the beetroot and lettuce were superb. Cumsmoke also gave the “no” run report giving it a .5/10 as there were no marks, not long enough and generally nothing to speak of.

It was also noted that Ferret had donned his “pixie” pantomime boots and Elvis made a sneaky exit passing on his apologies to myself.

And finally Show Pony offered a prize of a carton of Crownies to whoever came up with a suitable name to his new boat, which he intends to sell and start on another one, go figure (and good luck getting the beer from him). As usual nothing stops the Hash from having a good night regardless of the conditions, well done to all.
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Down Downs:
Ferret: Hare
Blackstump & Dennis: Returning runners

Caustic: Couldn’t identify location of the “mystery” foot

Caustic: Internet cock up with Flasher, plus failed to give Cumsmoke a lift (allegedly). Awarded “Internet for Dummies” book by Flasher

Ferret: “Vice” Council citation noted hanging on his wall (AKA Porn King)

Sir Point Two: POW as awarded by Crocodile for not showing up at Botcho’s after confirming

Miscarriage & GM: Charge to GM for bringing visitor with new shoes

Hash Event Notice: Sunday 11th September is the second Budd’s Beach to Spit bike ride and BBQ, all welcome. Details to come.
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On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs

PLEASE NOTE; Due to your glorious Hierarchy’s ability to manage funds, the weekly food contribution has now risen to $135.00 (which includes the fact you do not pay the $15.00 on the night). However if you do not spend the full amount please don’t claim it as we will know by the quality and quantity of food and launch an immediate enquiry, and subsequent reprisals.

In the event you have a great event/idea planned and wish to spend above the allocated amount you must pre arrange this with the Hash Cash, Blackstump, who will kindly advise you to go “jump” (or on very rare occasions consider your request). Nights at pubs/restaurants will attract a $5.00 fee.

Run: 1763
Date: Monday 15th August 2011
Hare: Crocodile
Venue: Wah Inn Chinese Restaurant, Southport
Runners: 26

Weeks to AGPU: 44
Well what does one write about this event. Another run set at the last minute at high speed on a mountain bike with the nosh organised at some dodgy Chinese restaurant obviously being used as a front for some sweat shop or human trafficking organisation. Any how we’ll try!!
In the dimly lit car park, a reasonable pack, resembling a seedy gathering of sorts, had assembled awaiting their instructions. Missing Link had returned thinking he could dodge the Asian delights for a while, but now knew he would have to feast on more stir fried dogs, rats and pussies. Even Veteran had made a return from his recent Hash related injuries and joined the walkers, who were allegedly given dodgy instructions by the Hare.
The run began north through the shops before quickly disappearing behind the centre then up through a gap in the fence and into the back streets. It wasn’t too long before we ended up emerging at the canal and ran towards Ferry Road before having to double back along the other side, just one of those things you can’t get around despite the temptation to swim the canal or try the other direction.

Soon after we crossed Cotlew Street, along the fence line, around some shiggy and another on back as found by Rectum. The marks thinned out a bit, but the lead pack finally found the trail and emerged at Slatyer Avenue before crossing Benowa Road and into more back streets and the familiar hills of Benowa. Back across Cotlew Street, where I suspect a few couldn’t resist the urge to head homewards, as the rest of us continued up the hills.

By now the pack had diminished as we had to refer to the faded trail map, given to me by the Hare, to stay on track. A loop saw us regather a few of the trailing pack who succumbed to the temptation to take the short cut. Soon it was onto Ridgeway Avenue before descending through the stair wells and corridors of the Tafe College before the good sprint home.

Back at the Restaurant a good pack, as you’d imagine, had already returned and were into the bucket as well as some nice Becks beers provided kindly by birthday boy, Rug.
Inside the restaurant, after Josephine and the GM had made up their minds whether the fee tonight was $5.00 or $20.00 (strangely enough $20.00 was the final price), the pack sat awaiting tonight’s feast. Not wanting to upset the local Triad’s evening meeting, the GM, wisely decided to hold a short impromptu circle.
Intermission – have gone out to dinner whilst writing this report, back soon

Intermission over and back to this dbeagle, Rectum wast told tot give a run report nd said tid was was nice long, lots of on backs 5.5/10. Sir Rabbid sadi wit was enjoyed 6/10, total 5.75/10. No nosh reprod as was restaurant, 5/10 standard mark given (maybe more with birbe).
Rock Hards was correcvt on fooot report
Feerttt & Crococodiel complained about messup of runs was unprecidineted however Vetaeran denied claim as fivolos and Josephine added there was nothing unprecidented as this sh.t happens all the time
Sir Vliant gave the story of Show pOny opening trap incorectly duirng conversation with PV’s son’s girlfreiedn, somhitng tio do with indian curry
Only Down Donw was given to POW, Croc (by Bent Benana) fro f..king arrowis in the f..king middle of the f..king road
Down Downs: see above
Footnote: Still no f..king internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hash Family day lunch; Sunday 21st August 12:00 noon, all welcome, $10.00 per head, BYO booze. Being held at Botulism’s home, Chip In Place, Helensvale (next to golf club). Bring a chair and please let Botulism know if you are attending
That is all, (I’m f..ked)
On On from “The Desk”
Two Dogs