Date:26th March  2018………………………….
Location:Burleigh …………………………………
Runners:28……………………………………………
Run Pictures………………………………………….

Date: 19th March  2018……………………………
Location: Miami ……………………………………..
Runners:34……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

We all knew it was going to be an auspicious occasion when we arrived to see the marquee set up with a long table and rows of chairs. Especially seeing Ferrett in his formal attire and top hat. The trailer was set up at the southern end of the car park at the Don McSween Park in Miami, just under the cliffs of the Lores Bonney Lookout. A sea breeze was keeping the temperature balmy, not too hot, in fact it could get cooler later.

At 6:15 the hare gathered everyone and gave run instructions. Walkers were told they could go south as far as they wanted and turn back. We set off along the Gold Coast Oceanway footpath to the steps up towards the Lores Bonney Lookout. A few hashers were already panting by the time they got to the bottom of the steps, and took one look up the steep steps, shook their heads and turned back, At the top of the steps were arrows pointing northwest, but I noticed almost every hasher was heading south down the grassy slopes towards North Burleigh. We continued along the concrete track, past North Burleigh Surf Club, and continued on the track for another ten minutes before turning back. Steps back down were certainly easier. The was a guy at the bottom with a large dog waiting for everyone to come down, however, there was a long stream of traffic, not only hashers, so he would be waiting a long time.

The hare was busy at a large pot, stirring the Minestrone soup, hashers came up to get served, added some grated cheese, and took a slice or two of garlic bread. Later the hare was rolling homemade burgers and placing them on the BBQ. With the burgers, the burger roll, pineapple slices, salad, cheese slices tomato, beetroot, the works. This was followed by fruit cake with sliced bananas in custard. Well done Ferrett.

After the tent, tables and chairs were put away, the GM call the circle.

Sir Rabbit played an entrance tribute song, Ferrett was called into the circle. GM was dressed in his high priest robes with a long sword in hand. GM called in all the Sirs to form a circle honour guard. Sirs Two Dogs, Prince Valiant, Slab, Botcho, Blackie. Each Sir said a few words about Ferrett. Ferrett then got down on one knee and was knighted as Sir Ferrett. Sir Prince, who was the first Sir, gave a note. Sir Ferrett was given a special goblet and a jacket and got a second down down. Josephine, who is next in line to be a Sir, gave a note.

Caustic was brought in for dobbing those with hats on in the circle, and got a down down, Truckie gave a note.

Croc and Rock Hard were welcomed, good to see them both, and hope we will see more of them. Poxy gave a note.

Caustic said a few words, inviting hashers to attend the Commonwealth Games hash at reduced prices.

Visitor was Bunker, Caustic have a note.

Returning runners were Ferrett and Swindler, Ice Man gave a note.

POW was Prince. He brought out a few contenders.

• Shat and Hard On for missing the turn to the Gold Coast on their way back from Boonah and ended up in Ipswich.
• Circumference for getting the GM lost so many times on the rally.
• Slab for going the wrong way at the roundabout, (just returning from the USA).
• Miscarriage for going to Prince’s house knowing Prince was away.
• Ball Point for saying disparaging remarks about Prince at the rally. Ball Point got the POIW

Prince noted one year since the passing of Moonbeams, RIP.

RA stepped in and called Fanny for being rude. He said a few jokes, and asked in anyone had charges.

Miscarriage called out Prince and Hard On for being engineers and citing the collapse of the new bridge in Florida killing several people.

Josephine called out the only culprit who brought crownies last week, and left the bottle tops in the money bucket. Ball Point got a down down.

Rug called in Sir Ferrett, who was away last week, and presented him with the Golf Day trophy. Truckie gave a note.

There were a few more jokes before GM called on Sir Ferrett to end of circle.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 12th March  2018……………………………
Location: Broadbeach ……………………………
Runners:29……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

Hashers gathered at Cascade Gardens. Truckie wasn’t there, but he left the trailer just in case. There were enough benches, tables, lights, and shelter, so the trailer or its contents were not used. There was lighting, there were water taps, there was a BBQ. STD started agitating for run instructions five minutes before start time. Finally at 6:15 precisely, Nasty showed us what a false trail marking looked like. I don’t think many hashers had ever seen one before. Then the hare set the runners off in a south westerly direction. Walkers started going with the runners until the frantic hare called them back. Nasty set the walkers off in a south-easterly direction, south along the highway. Trail went west at the north end of the Convention Centre, then south at the western edge, through what could have been a construction site. A security guard accosted us half way down the western side and said we were not allowed in that area. Someone told him that we were the last through, but we didn’t know that runners would be going through there a bit later and were turned back.

There were arrows, and the few walking stragglers went up the curved elevated walkway to the Casino, missing the check back as it was near a bright upward-beaming light on the floor of the walkway. Seeing no marking at the Casino doors (Nasty wouldn’t take us in there, would he?) or down the set of stairs, we decided to turn back to the last known marks. Almost at the end of the walkway, we saw the check back and followed trail back to the check. Trail continued around the south and up the east side of the Convention Centre then on home to a few beers. Probably about 3 km including the excursion to the Casino.

Nasty had organised Uber Eats to collect food from his house and bring it to the Park. Still hot. He started with meat pies. Then came rice and a choice of hot or not so hot chicken curry. Dessert was ice cream cheese cake.

GM called the circle. Immediately called Shat out for being disrespectful to the GM. Ball Point gave a note.

Next was the hare, Nasty. Fanny gave a run report saying it was virgin territory, but runners were tossed out of the Convention Centre construction area. Someone said there was not enough chicken, Nasty said he bought 5 kgs. Brewtus said it was the first time he had seconds of everything. Magician gave a note.

Returning runners were Magician who had stayed in a tiny room near St Moritz. Slab who was on a USA ski tour and Now Loved who was in Japan. Two Dogs stepped in with a gift for the GM he forgot from last week. Magician gave the GM a picture of the current committee as super heroes. S-Bends gave a note.

Ball Point was called in for dobbing two of the returning runners for wearing a hat in the circle. Fanny gave a note.

Prince announced that he had received $10 from Miscarriage for winning a bet that Miscarriage would not be in his new house on the hill by end February.

Prince also said he was told that the train to the Friday lunch at Beenleigh was at 11:59 instead of 11:15, which made him late. Prince got a down down, Bent Banana gave a note.

GM asked Nasty if he had requested the trailer, NO, no need as the park had lights, benches and tables and BBQ.

RA called Brewtus in for being away to a Mossman family reunion. Blackie for something, and Missing Link for using nuts in last weeks meal that were hard enough to break teeth. STD gave a note.

Shat got his embroidered cap for getting to 300 runs. Hard On gave a note.

GM called in Weekly to present the recovered (at great expense) the Golf Day trophy to the four winners, Ferrett, Bent Banana, Flasher and Rug. Each would keep it for three months, Rug took it away.

POW Shat stepped in and called Circumference for a big win at the races. He refused to say how much. Also called in was Prince for making farting noises to clear passengers away from a seating area on the train back to Gold Coast on Friday. Prince got the Prick of the Week.

Brewtus called end of circle.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 5th March  2018……………………………
Location: Broadbeach waters…………………
Runners:26……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

Hashers gathered at the shelter at the southeast corner of Albert Park in Broadbeach Waters. No black clouds this week, although rain was forecast. No hills also this week. Truckie had set up the trailer near the shelter. Tables and chairs were set up under the shelter.

The hare was Missing Link. He gathered hashers and directed runners west. Hard On and Weekly stayed back to guard the trailer. The Phantom guided walkers east. The trail was well marked with arrows, and followed the path north between the Southport Burleigh Road and the lake. It went east under the road then north again on the east side of the road. We walked around the PCYC and Youth Club, then west on Monaco Street, under the road again then back into the park. There were a few false trails. The track followed the footpath through the trees, west of the lake, past the rugby club, then on home to the shelter. About 25 minutes. The first runners came in at the same time.

There were corn chips and salsa on the tables. Missing Link was cooking up a nice beef curry, rice, with peanuts, diced tomatoes, onions, boiled eggs, bananas, with a sprinkling of desiccated shredded coconut. Pappadums accompanied. This was followed by Lamington and custard.

Acting GM was Jiggy. He called for hashers to put away tables and chairs, then the circle. Before Jiggy started, Weekly stepped in giving away two camp chairs. The auction for two lamps donated by STD fizzled out as they were taken early on. Truckie stepped in asking if anyone had seen the pot that belonged to the lid he held.

Jiggy got into the Oscars theme, and called out Ice Man for being frigid, Hard On for leaning on a post, Phantom for not appearing and S-Bends for being a baby driver. Shat gave a note.

GM then called Missing Link into the circle. GM asked Bent Banana if he did the entire run, seeing as he was first in. BB said the other runners went the wrong way. S-Bend gave a food critique saying it was outstanding, too good. Prince gave a note.

No Retuning Runners.

Visitors, Peter was called in. He was asked why he came again? Peter said that he has been hearing about how great hashing is from Phantom for the last 15 years. HalAl gave a note.

RA stepped in with a couple of jokes. He asked Weekly to read a joke, but Weekly did not have his glasses, Truckie tried to read it.

STD was called out for being FIQ. Normally Ferrett is first in queue, but he was away. Truckie gave a note.

Charges, Missing Link spat the dummy for receiving a charge last week from Miscarriage for placing his hash bag on one of the chairs, depriving a hasher.

Bent Banana had a charge against him for arriving at the hash last week, staying in his car, then driving away without coming in. Blackie gave a note.

GM took over the circle, and called for the POW to come out.  Miscarriage called Phantom in for a split drink, Missing Link for giving soup to a pensioner, and Shat for being grandfather of the year. Shat got the POW. Circumference gave a note.

GM called for payment for outstanding Rally fees.

Poxy called end of circle.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA.

On on

Mad Mike

Date: 26th February  2018……………………..
Location: Nerang…………………………………..
Runners:29……………………………………………..
Run Pictures……………………………………………

There were big, black ominous clouds to the south, looming up as we approached Nerang. Jittery hashers were gathered on the driveway to the Community Centre on Lavelle Street all staring at the clouds. Lightning and thunder seemed to be getting closer, and a few drops of rain started. A Range Rover started backing out of a car port, dispersing hashers, and drove out onto the road side. KB stepped out and got abuse from hashers. At 6:10 hashers went up into the car port shelter and waited for hare Fanny, stand in for Rock Hard, to give run instructions. At 6:15 precisely, the heavens opened up with torrential rain, thunder and lightening. Suddenly, no one was listening to Fanny any more. Quick as a flash, they went to the eskies, found beer, and disappeared into the meeting room.

Fanny put out a bowl of popcorn and chips, and with KB’s help, started cooking up the dinner.In the meantime, the scribe’s notepad circulated, and a few hashers added their bit to the run report.

“At 6:15 precisely, the heavens opened up and after 2 minutes of intense debate, the pack returned to the dining room to popcorn and corn chips washed down by cold beverages.”

“The run markings were to a very high standard, however, not having titty girls failed miserably and too many hills and on-backs in very slippery conditions. The hare set a challenging trail, but the hashers fucked it up.”

“Guest runner Bren Gun from Brisbane was very impressed with the workplace health and safety officer’s decision to run twice as far next week”

“We all arrived to thunder-ous applause”

“Miscarriage flushed with success after his victory over the planning committee, turned up in a horsehair wig and silk robes”

KB started setting out the serving area on one of the tables. He laid out a table cloth and placed ketchup bottles on each side. He then brought out an oven plate with meat pies. Hashers rushed up to get some, and seconds and thirds. Winners of the pie competition were Rug with 5, Miscarriage with 4, and Prince and Hard On tied for third place with three each. Then out came a huge pot of Bolognaise and pasta. No parmesan cheese. This was followed by chocolate coated ice cream on a stick which was tossed to hashers by KB. Most were not caught and fell on the floor.

GM called a circle around the tables and brought out KB for parking under the carport. Why couldn’t he park on the road like everybody else? KB said that his insurance excess was higher than anybody else’s if the car was damaged. He escaped a down down.

Trucky was called out for losing his pot.

HalAl gave a food report, saying it was a pretty good meal.

Fanny and Ball Point got a down down, HalAl gave a note.

Prince gave a report saying the he, Caustic, and a few others all celebrated birthdays at the Friday splinter lunch, but Miscarriage was legless at the pub celebrating his victory, as the council had capitulated. Mrs Burke is not speaking to him anymore, so the house is quiet. Brewtus immediately gave Miscarriage the POW (Prick of the Week).

Miscarriage said there was a Billy Connolly look-alike in the group, and called out Prince for a down down. Jigsaw gave a note.

RA stepped in with some jokes. He called out Ball Point for almost joining another running club on his way to hash, and suggested he go to SpecSavers. Rug gave a note.

Ball Point was called out again for eating the most pizza slices last week, and taking some home. Rug came second, and Circumference third. Blackie gave a note.

Fanny mentioned that he had stood in for Rock Hard and that we should all give Rock Hard our best wishes.

Ferrett was brought in for being in tears not being able to run this evening.

Miscarriage had charges to those that had placed their bags on a chair, restricting seats to hashers. Missing Link got a down down.

Brewtus called end of circle.

Remember to use dobin@keen.net.au if you have a story for RA, and register for the Rally on 17 March for a Magical Mystery Tour

On on

Mad Mike