Author Archives: Botcho

Run 2059…Hare: Now Loved

Run 2059

Run: 2059

Date:10/04/2017

Location: Burleigh Heads

Hare: Now Loved

Hashers:31

A venue which presented the southern GC at its best, in a park beside
the high tide of the Tallebudgera Creek, on a moonlit evening greeted
hashers.
The hare had strategically placed borrowed traffic cones in the prime
parking spots in readiness for the arrival of Truck Tyres, so he could
do his logistic preparations
with the trailer and lighting. Instructions from the hare had both
walkers and runners heading along the creek before the runners went left
and the walkers right. Both groups went up and down hills with lots of
steps. The runners also enjoyed the views from the water tower. A little
bit of reverse parking from Bent Banana and Truck
Tyres caused a some angst amongst hashers enjoying the free $1 birthday
Crownies supplied by Fanny Charmer. The ever alert Josephine warned
Truck Tyres of an impending catastrophe with his vehicle and the
trailer. Incumbent POW Blue Card was taking mental notes of what was
happening with his potential candidates.

Chips, cheese and crackers appeared and were so popular that the cheese
had to be grabbed back by the hare so there would enough left as part of
the next course.
Suddenly a queue of hashers formed and all were served wagyu beef
burgers, salads and various saucy members of the Condi Ments family. It
didn’t take long for a few hashers to reload on the remaining beef and
salads as they scrounged for seconds. After a few beers and wines later,
hashers were greeted with the biggest piece of Camembert cheese you have
ever seen which was served up with Easter eggs. This tart size slab of
cheese caught the eye of Ballpoint and he helped himself to a piece the
size of a piece of cake. He told the hare as he was French , he just
loved the stuff.

The GM gave the five minute warning for a circle and hashers with the
bellies now full slowly responded from the comfort of their
surroundings. Front and centre, hare Now Loved, was given a drink and
listened to the glowing comments about his run. Brutus believed it was
the best run he has been on this year and Weekly thought all the steps
on the walk reminded him of the Great Wall of China. All hashers agreed
that the wagyu burgers were just brilliant. The GM told us what it was
like now residing in his Stalag like gated community with his Nazi body
corporate security guard harassing him every day. Sounds like a great
venue for the hash to sing a few hymns to lighten things up a bit.

RA Shat took over proceedings and again Now Loved was up for a drink as
an OC( “an over-achieving cunt”) for setting a record swimming time
crossing of Sydney Harbour. The jury is out as to whether their were
performance enhancers like sharks and ferries involved in his record
swim. So he wouldn’t have to feel lonely drinking by himself, champion
seniors athlete Sir Blackie was invited to join him although he was a
scratching from the weekend’s GC World Series triathalon event.

Next up in the circle were Bent Banana and Truck Tyres for their parking
misdemeanours and also Fanny Charmer for somehow it was alleged by Blue
Card for stealing and wearing his T-shirt. Blue Card was again noticed
eyeing off the proceedings for three possible POW candidates. As the
allegation charge against Fanny Charmer by Blue Card had got already got
him a down down, no doubt a few were wondering what was next in store
for him.

Returning runners and visitors Fuck All, Fuller Shit and Wikipedia were
joined by a random visitor named Peter who just happened to wandering
by. Weekly did some interrogation on him and as a result ascertained he
was just a Silly Old Cunt with a Towbar ( good intell for a hash name
like SOCT) if we ever see him again. Then Josephine told the circle
about the recent massive drug bust down south involving ice hidden
inside imported floorboards and believed Nasty should get a mention for
guilt by association with his imported bamboo. Carefree was called up as
a stand-in look a like. In turn Carefree called for a proxy to avoid the
charge and who else but the recently named Poxy(which is pretty close to
proxy) was joining in for a drink with Carefree. The ever alert Carefree
with a sleight of hand poured half of his drink into Poxy’s vessel to
avoid most of his down down. Missing Link was also welcomed back on his
return from his recent second Thai honeymoon with wife in tow.

Sir Prince Valiant told us how Miscarriage sent his apologies for his
non-attendance as he had a prior overseas dinner engagement with
Cambodia’s top cop. Miscarriage knows it is always good to keep in good
with those sort of people just in case he looses his passport, wallet,
credit cards etc on one of his night’s out when touring.

In a random act of unkindness, Blue Card stunned everyone by announcing
that he was awarding POW to the stunned hare, A unique quinella rarely
seen in hash where the solo hare has set a good run, a good walk and
serves up a great nosh, looses a day of his life and ends up as POW. His
crime was possession of those borrowed traffic cones he placed in the
parking bays at the venue so that Truck Tyres with the trailer could
park there to make it easy for the serving of nosh to everyone
attending. The evidence was considered by hashers and the consensus was
that it didn’t pass the pub test as being offensive enough to warrant
the awarding of POW. After all, the hare was only trying to make the
evening as enjoyable as he could by having the trailer in an accessible
spot. There have often been false charges and stitch-ups in hash but
this one was considered to be a travesty of justice especially when
comparing to what goes on in the courts these days when the judiciary
goes soft when sentencing for possession of those other cones, the green
weedy ones.

Crocodile was mentioned regarding a health issue and all forward to his
speedy recovery back to good health.

Next week’s Easter Monday geriatrics run will be from Phantom’s
residence and it will be an early start.

A rather reluctant Sir Blackie, still apprehensive about his new job as
circle closer was jostled into voice to close proceedings to RPR 44 by a
couple of hash bouncers.

Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2058…Hare:Nasty

Run 2058

Run: 2058

Date:3/04/2017

Location: Isle of Capri

Hare: Nasty

Hashers:25

After the summer from hell that was topped off by that abrasive bitch TC Debbie, hashers were keen to enjoy the dry autumn evening conditions after a sunny GC Monday. Nasty announced there were multiple choices of running/walking activities that hashers could do but promised they would all lead to the drink stop. So everyone buggered off heading west towards Bundall. Then a call of, on back, from the bicycle riding hare over seeing the run lead the front group of runners into a gated private property which was a dead end. So back on the western trail until a split between the runners and chuggers took place along Bundall Road with the runners heading further north and the chuggers south to a park behind the shops at Sorrento. The walkers were already enjoying beers in the dark surrounds of the park where returner Pizza was manning the drink stop. When all three groups had assembled and had consumed refreshments it was on home. Corn chips and dips were the entrée before the main course was served.
Mrs Hare was observed to be busy in the kitchen assisting Nasty prepare his signature My Kitchen Rules champion pies, mashed potatoes and mushy peas. Assisting in the flavour of the meal were the always popular visitors, the various members of  Condi Ments and his family, and a special guest from the Sir Rabbit clan, Ms Saucey Gravy. It wasn’t long before hashers after knocking off their first pie were back for another or half of one. Again the kitchen staff excelled with their healthy multiple berries, lamington and cream in a cup luscious desserts hand delivered to the tables of appreciative hashers trying to work their way through their beers and wines and food all at once.
So as not to be considered a noisy GC canal party house by his neighbours, Nasty herded the pack inside for the indoors circle. In the GM’s absence, RA Shat , got the proceedings underway. Sir Prince Valiant gave us an update on Miscarriage’s twin brother who had a drink or two many as a result of not be able to get home until 1am one morning during the recent heavy rain event after being stranded because of flooding of the moat around his abode. A Uber 4WD was eventually able to get him home to his happy spouse. Nasty, who blamed the afternoon’s rain showers on the quality of the run setting got various comments from the floor including blame it on the rain, it won’t get run of the year and very unusual having a live hare on a bike. Fanny Charmer stated that the Aldi pies were lovely and Sir Rabbit got a special message for his contribution of the gorgeous Ms Saucy Gravy. A thirsty Nasty enjoyed his well earned drink for his overall efforts.
The returning runners were next up for down downs. They included Magician, a healthy again Mad Mike,Slug, Sir Blackie and Ball Point who was nominated to stand-in for Pizza in recognition of his overseeing efforts at the drink stop. A special mention was also made of some hashers who had their own substitute wine tour in Surfers Paradise on Saturday after the planned hash April Fools’ wine tour event was cancelled. Shat, Nasty, Aussie, Caustic Crusader apparently put a fair dent into their wine cellars with Pizza loosing both his coherency and his mobile telephone somewhere around the Costa D Oro restaurant.
A new hasher (Peter) with the surname of O’Brien ( just close enough to be associated with Windscreens O’Brien and the epoxy they use) got him the name of Poxy.  Hopefully it will certainly stick with him for a long time without the need of a replacement one.
According to Carefree, absent incumbent POW Blue Card was still giving it thought as to who to award it to at next week’s run.
Now Loved announced that next week’s gourmet food providore will be Campbells, the bulk wholesaler, at his Southern end of the GC run.
Josephine moved a point of order that on seniority Sir Blackie should now be the new circle closer. Sir Blackie, knowing the recent attrition rate that seems to befall the holder of that position, declined politely that he didn’t want the job. However he eventually yielded, accepted the position and in his new role, closed the proceedings to RPR 43. As they say, time flies.
(There is not long to go now until the next group of deserving hashers, no doubt salivating in anticipation will step up to their roles on the new committee at the AGPU next month).
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2057…Hares : Dicky Knee-Circumference-KB

Run 2057

Run: 2057

Date:27/03/2017

Location: Coombabah

Hare: Dicky Knee-Circumference-KB

Hashers:30

We have all had our experiences while setting runs and this one was no different. As I emerged from the car park heading into the woods, I hear this local yell out – There’s toilets down the road , mate. So he’s formed this opinion that if you are carrying a roll of toilet paper and a piece of gyprock, you are going to take a dump in his neighbourhood. Anyhow I figured that if he is a person that jumps to conclusion like that, it’s best to ignore him because if tried to explain hash to him, he would probably have the coppers raid us that evening thinking it was some drug related group in the park.
Grassy Park (aka Mosquito Park) was the venue for Dicky Knee’s third run setting in 10 years. He put together a crew to look after the minor issues like setting the run and organising the nosh. Quick instructions had the runners and walkers heading off around the back blocks of Coombabah. At a check, the walkers went east and the walkers went west. After about 45 minutes, both groups were back at the venue and sipping on the free $1 Crownies supplied by birthday boy, Kwakka. Dicky Knee and KB were hard at work preparing multiple courses. First up was pork belly and apple sauce before
the main spaghetti meal which was from a secret KB family recipe. It was all very quite as hashers filled up quickly on the superb nosh. Next up Dicky Knee served his packaged ice creams, showing how good he can be with his Master Chef desserts.
Returning GM Rock Hard announced a circle warning and all arose and formed a pretty orderly group. Into the circle came Dicky Knee and his
subbies, KB and Circumference to have a drink for their efforts. Fanny Charmer enjoyed the run but stated he would have enjoyed it more if the run had gone into the environmental park, no doubt the hundreds of mosquitoes in there would have enjoyed it too with all those hashers to munch on. Weekly remarked the walkers had got the runners share of mossies as there swarms of them on the walk.
Returners and virgins, Peter, Steve and Crit were welcomed with down downs next.
The RA stepped in and announced the pick up times and activities planned for the Aprils Fool’s Day wine tour.  Ferret got his third down down in three weeks for questioning the bus pick-up times and the planning of the date of the wine tour being the day after the splinter lunch. He just happens to be on the committee responsible for the wine tour.
In a Debbie does 3 hashers moment, Brutus, Elvis and Hard On were called into the circle as property owners in the Mackay/Whitsunday region fully aware that their properties were in the firing line of mother nature’s imminent cyclone. As North Qlders know that although most of the year, they live in a tropical paradise, every now and then all hell breaks loose on that one rare day and hell hath no fury like a woman storm. Especially when that woman’s name is Debbie and she’s not doing her thing in Dallas but giving a nice slow 263 kph blow job on Hamilton Island.
Sir Prince Valiant told how the GC Rugby Union has mentioned Moonbeam’s contribution to the game in Qld at a weekend game. KB suggested a hymn would be appropriate and Sir Botcho was invited to sing the opening line. Kwakka got a birthday drink and Blue Card told a joke about using Viagra Lite for assistance in getting half a fat.
The carryover POW, Carefree, nominated Nasty, Blue Card and Truck Tyres as candidates for the new holder. Blue Card was the winner for engaging Carefree to ride his bicycle for 3.5 humid hours to assist him on his weekend ramble fund raiser while  Blue Card chilled out on the Broadwater.
Caustic Crusader reminded all that the early bird price for the 2018 Commie Hash closes this week.
Nasty mentioned his nosh at next week’s run would be to die for or was that to die from.
Ferret was pleased to be asked to close RPR 42. A changing of the guard since the passing of Moonbeams.
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE

Run 2056…Hare : Elvis

Run 2056

Run: 2056

Date:20/03/2017

Location: West Burleigh

Hare: Elvis

Hashers:26

Direct from Graceland to Queensland, Elvis in his first gig on his 2017 tour chose West Burleigh’s Silver Thai restaurant last Monday evening as the venue.
(This was the already prepared upbeat intro for the run report prior to the passing of Moonbeams).
However as the news came through concerning Moonbeams, the celebration of his life became the main attraction of the evening. This hasher who regularly told us for several years every birthday would be his last was a true warrior. Every now and again he would get knocked down for awhile with health issues but before long he would be back on his morning bike ride with his mates and sitting around on Monday night’s enjoying a glass of red or two without complaining about the challenges he faced. I am sure when they examine his body parts , they will find he had one hell of a good engine and conclude that they don’t make them like that anymore.
As Elvis had promised a drink stop in his pre-run spiel, the pack under dreary skies headed off through the industrial estate before some slipping and sliding up a mountain where Sir Two Dogs rolled over an embankment before righting himself again. The drink stop was  a welcome site especially when it was located without having to pass Elvis’ angry neighbours’ property (they have previously objected to hashers encroaching on their property in that patch of the Burleigh backwoods). Even better was this drink stop was found to be manned by a friendly neighbour with lots of cold beer.  This neighbour told us we were about a quarter of the way through the run and when Elvis asked him for a torch so he could find the trail he had set, we knew it was going to be a long hard slog through lots of shiggy and up and down the hills of West Burleigh. Every now and then you could see the lights of the northern GC high rises, but in reality it was just a case of follow the hare and hope he knows where he is going. Finally, when we got out of the bush near the Miraki rehab centre, it was on home to icy cold beers.
RA Shat got a circle organised and first out was Moonshine, son of Moonbeams. He spoke how his father had loved his hash mates as family.
Visitor Bren Gun advised he was doing the annual audit of our hash for head office in KL. He found we had passed the audit in most categories except the length of the run which he found was a bit too long. Fannie Charmer had to agree with his assessment as he opened his first beer after the run at 7:55 pm. Elvis as hare accepted his down down for a great long run well marked on waterproof chalk. Bent Banana was the first hasher back (by car) after hitching a ride home upon finding himself lost on the wrong side of West Burleigh. Caustic Crusader was the first hasher home by foot.
Miscarriage commenced a series of charges. First up was the early dining charge on Sir Prince Valiant (SPV) for getting in early for a discount meal. SPV returned serve for Miscarriage getting into a blue with a bikie on St Patrick’s Day while having a few with Phil. Caustic Crusader got Truckie in for a GC Bulletin article about a truckie and a road incident. Ferret had another back fire charge on him for claiming the Elvis hadn’t paid hash cash although he was the hare. Bren Gun for some slight of hand trick of getting Weekly’s car keys into the pocket of his jacket was next up. KB went looking for a leftover Fat Yak Pale ale from the previous week in the eskys but as he couldn’t find any got Bent Banana out for his private premium beer collection storage off-site. Fanny Charmer joined him for wearing his Asic hash thongs in the circle.
Current POW, Carefree, advised that he was holding over the award, and instead as he had prepared a poem about Moonbeams at 3 am that morning, he would read that instead as a tribute.  In a hash first. Moonbeams posthumously closed the circle via some Sir Rabbit audio technology. SPV announced that Moonbeams had left a generous donation to the hash. SPV and the Princess were thanked for all their efforts in assisting Moonbeams during the latter stages of his life.
On that note, the pack moved inside to the restaurant for multiple courses of rapidly served Thai fare and more beers/wine.
RPR 41 will be remembered as the evening we farewelled another great member of the GC Hash.
                                                                           Vale Paul (Moonbeams) Mooney 1939-2017
                                                                                                    RIP
Yours in hashing
CIRCUMFERENCE