Run 1894
Date:17/02/2014
Location: Budds Beach
Hare: Shat
Runners:31

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Shat called all the runners together to give the usual briefing which turned out to be anything but usual. He said he wanted to make the run into a total debacle like most of the other runs and he hoped he would succeed. He announced there were no markings of any kind only a series of numbered colour photographs which he handed out which the runners had to identify and move from one location to another. This all sounded fine and exciting in the last glow of the afternoon sun at 6.15 but that warm glow soon faded later when you needed a pair of reading glasses and a torch to read the photographs, both of which were missing for most people.

The GM called Circle Up and opened the circle with the announcement of a new award – The Useless Long Sleeved Sweatshirt Award which he proudly displayed. The name Useless one of our departed members emblazoned on the garment. He said the first ‘rabbless’ person in the circle would be given the inaugural award.

Sir Prince and Josephine thought in theory the run would a good idea but next time Shat should supply reading spectacles and make sure everybody had a torch. Josephine reckoned that some of the pictures included in the montage were non-existent around Surfers Paradise and scanned from some unknown website just to create havoc. With much thought he gave it a 7.2.

Botcho thought the best thing about the run was the drinks stop in the rotunda at the Marriot where there were ice cold vodka screwdrivers served. Our resident food critic Rug is currently in the Philippines doing who knows what. The Long Lost Pizza was called on to comment on the Nosh and said he thought it looked pretty good but he didn’t eat any as he never eats any of the Nosh. Seems that it takes up good red wine space.

Hard On said his contribution to the Nosh was that he bought some wine over to give inspiration to the chefs but he and Shat ended up drinking that while the female chefs stayed sober. Circumference reckoned the Nosh had everything, vodka, casseroled sausages and green peas and the right mark was 8.5. Caustic when asked to explain why he was a walker said he had gout but he was drinking red wine as a cure.

Pizza was the unanimous choice for the inaugural Useless award as he was intent on dominating the circle and speaking Swahili.  Special award tonight Sir Prince was called out for chalking up 1501 runs Sir Prince has been running for 36 years and man is he tired.

We had a Hash visitor from Launceston Ball Point who started his Hash running in Brunei, lived in Toulouse France for a while and has now seen the light and moved to the Gold Coast. Sir Black Stump stood in as the RA as the real RA left early with no apologies or requests for leave of absence. Swindler received a drink for being the last to pay as he had no money but in the end it was shaken out of him.

KB reported that he had fed the chooks leftover chilli con carne from Sir Rabbits effort last week and it resulted in the death of one of his best egg layers. He is taking legal advice from his regular solicitors Leech and Leech.

The POW awarded last week to Flasher who has spent most of his spare time during the week sending questionable emails. He had emailed the GM telling him to shove his decree where the sun don’t shine. Flasher in defence said that there were many wonderful places where the sun don’t shine and that is what he was referring to.

And the winner of the POW for the night went to Hard On as he had been totally under the influence of the demon drink and would probably not remember receiving it on the night and would wake up in bed with a surprise appendage.

Some good news from Botcho who advised that Show Pony was out of hospital and had gone home today. Iceman had been around to visit him and said that Show Pony was a bit shaky and it would be a while before he ran a marathon again but still made a good coffee.

Next week’s run will be set by Caustic in Bonogin Valley as a special thank you to KB who lives deep in the mountains down that way somewhere.

END OF CIRCLE

On On

Blue card

Run 1893
Date:10/02/2014
Location: Labrador
Hare: Josephine & Sir Rabbit
Runners: 37

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The nosh proceedings were delayed due to a total lack of preparation by Sir Rabbit who had underestimated the large turnout and at the last minute needed to go searching the gold coast for some additional bread to go with the chilli con-carne. By 8.15 there was rebellion in the ranks and Kitchen Bitch unable to stand his ground faced with a mob of hungry hashers gave in and started serving sans bread. Finally the bread arrived and made a great additional course.

At 8.40 the GM called up the circle but was having trouble getting the group to circle up and show some GM respect. The joint hares were called out  – Point Two and his staff of Josephine and Sir Rabbit. Josephine had been subcontracted to set the run and just in case anybody had forgotten he was sporting last year’s trophy for run of the year and had promised that this year’s run would be up to the same standard. Circumference reckoned the run was alright but it went for more than an hour. Fanny Charmer in an attempt to ingratiate himself said it may well be the run of the year. Two Dogs didn’t have much to add but scored it an 8.5. The RA was particularly impressed by the international markings which had been adopted to set the run with none of the unofficial versions sometimes used.

All the Sirs got a Down Down to keep Sir Rabbit company and as Sir AH was missing, the RA called out Missing Link as a look alike substitute for Sir AH which seems like grounds for a strong objection from Sir AH next week. Kitchen Bitch brought a charge of email abuse on Flasher when it was Be Kind to Flasher Month “little did he know what was to be unleashed in the following days”.

The RA had spotted a few usual suspects as being at the head of the food queue in the absence of the nosh master, Dicky Knee, Lurch and Pile Driver.

Sir Prince was singled out for a social misdemeanour and sign of old age, when instead of staying on at a function to celebrate his son’s engagement he went home early for a nanny sleep.

Returning runners for this week, Swollen Colon, Jigsaw, Point Two, Loco and Pile Driver.

The POW was proudly presented by last week’s recipient Rock Hard to Flasher for running over an Onback and calling the pack forward into tiger country. You did not deserve that Flasher especially as it is be nice to Flasher month and you are going to be away for two weeks of that month overseas.

Next Week’s run will be set by Shat and for something completely different he will be setting it from Budds Beach outside his front door.

Moonbeam was in fine form and good health called End Of Circle.

END OF CIRCLE

ON ON                                                                                                                                                               Blue Card

This is for the Golfer who thought he has everything!!!

Tee Warmer

Run 1892
Date:3/02/2014
Location: Varsity Lakes
Hare: Rock Hard
Runners: 34

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Well this started out as a ”NO” night.

No chalk markings for the walkers

No Booze Master

No Hare

No lights

No ice for the booze

Blow Fly visiting from the deep south and son Maggot thought the first 2 k of the run was OK but not too many marks after that. Botcho described his experience as “drifting out” due to lack of marks.

Rug who is on the short list as a guest judge on My Kitchen Rules thought the shredded cold chicken was beautifully presented and no doubt Sir Rabbit loved the fresh lettuce leaves.

As for the large bucket of ice cream for dessert Rug thought it was a brilliant idea to let it melt into liquid form so we could just drink it and no need to get a spoon dirty.

Croc reckoned the nosh was a good chance to win “Best Nosh Of The Week” award.

Flasher was given a DD for failing to turn up at the Botch Residence to help clean up on Saturday after the gourmet food extravaganza there on Friday. Strangely enough there was a spontaneous call from the ranks to declare February the “Be Nice to Flasher Month”. You didn’t deserve that Flasher.

Good to see the RA back in the saddle and in fine form as usual. Sir Prince Valiant has it on good authority that the RA went for a hash run in New York and took a wrong turn over the Brooklyn Bridge   and ended up turning a 6K run into 16 K’s.

The POW handed on by Ferite or is it Feret with a number of nominations:

Flasher for sending insulting emails

Josephine for defamatory language “lower than a snakes guts”

Rock Hard for 1 chalk marking at the beginning for the walkers then a big black hole, no lights, no parking

And the winner is Lurch for paying $15 to Hash cash within 50 cent coins. Rumour has it he has a little scam going with fellow partner in crime Cum Smoke empting parking metres.

The 1900^th Run is in 8 runs time and if we can’t get a sponsorship deal from Qantas for free tickets to Bali we will at Bochos home of fine dining and debauchery.

The Anzac day bike ride is ON and details to be advised.

Next Weeks Run by Josephine will be ‘off Olsen Ave’ you can’t miss it.

END OF CIRCLE

CAUSTICS JOKES FOR THIS WEEK

Gynaecologist Visit

A beautiful woman went to see a gynaecologist.

 The doctor took one look at the stunning woman and all his professionalism went out of the window.

        He told her to get undressed. 
After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing so he asked her,
 “Do you know what I am doing?”

“Yes,” she replied, “You are checking for abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.”

“That’s right,” said the doctor. He then began to fondle her Breasts.
 “Do you know what I am doing now?” he asked. 
“Yes,” she said, “You are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer.” 

“Correct,” replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his patient and started having
sexual intercourse with her. He asked,
“Do you know what I am doing now?”
     “Yes,” she said, “You’re getting herpes: which is why I came here in the first place.” 

Hash Dementia  – short and sweet…! 

Run 1891
Date:27/01/2014
Location: Tamborine
Hare: Rectum
Runners: 27

Hash Pictures Mobile Link

A special “Run” this week – the Great Aussie BBQ for Australia Day.

Somebody said it was a good bushy run but Veteran said it caused him flashbacks to his time in Vietnam and could feel PTSD coming on.

The gourmet snags cooked by Kitchen Bitch made the perfect entrée.

Our resident food critic Rug thought the meal was perfect particularly as it was prepared by a fellow Yorkshire man. He loved the idea of keeping the Nosh in budget by using local road kill for the gourmet homemade kangaroo pie.

The homemade ice cream and lamingtons kept the harshest critics silent. Good effort Rectum.

If the pastry was not so light that it blew away, the Nosh score would have been 10/10.

Good to see Moonbeams there and in his own inimitable style call “END OF CIRCLE”

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

JOKES OF THE WEEK FROM CAUSTIC

The HASHMAN

The Hashman is a woman’s best friend.
He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day.
He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do;
to live without fear and forget regret.
He will enable her to express her deepest emotions
and give in to her most intimate desires.
He will make sure she always feels that she’s the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive, and invincible.

No wait…… sorry……. I’m thinking of wine.
It’s WINE that does all that.
Sorry.

SHATS BIRTHDAY PRESENT TO JOS

“You never surprise me”  Jos moaned to her long suffering husband called “Shat”.

 “Buy me a surprise for my birthday. Something that accelerates from 0 to 150 in under 4  seconds, … and I’d prefer a blue one!, Jos hinted.

Happy and excited Jos was counting down the days for her birthday.

And finally Jos got the beautiful present that Shat had thoughtfully chosen for her …

Shat’s dead now … but he died a legend.