Author Archives: Botcho

August Splinter Lunch

What do 24 hashers do for winter fun in August under a summery GC sun ?

They go to splinter lunch, and the choice of this month’s hare was Toscani’s in Surfers Paradise just a stubby throw from the beach. The early arrivals , Sir AH and Moonbeams continued the negotiations with the host in the absence of the hare and jagged no corkage and cheap starter garlic twist bread for all. Well done, guys.

Some hashers thought they would check out the possible after party venues over an ale or two before lunch and the before party turned out to be a case of Boys on the Avenue.

To kick off the proceedings the Hors de Excellence Degustation Gold Medal was presented to the this month’s hare, VD by Flasher.

As the numbers continued to trickle in, it was a bit like Noah’s Ark where hashers would arrive in pairs and over their first drinks compare their bus trips in along the GC Highway demilitarised zone.

As mains arrived, there was certainly plenty of variety including a lobster dish served out of a teapot to Rug and Ferret as well as more conventional meals such as steaks, spaghetti and pizza. Speaking of Pizza who as we know never misses an opportunity to get a bargain.

Well at one stage he snuck off to do some shopping at the local souvenir store where he got a 2 for 1 thong deal. He assured all that it was the thongs you wear on your feet not put over your tackle.

The red wine loosened a few lips of a couple of the elder hashers who upon seeing some young nubile eye candy it began them reminiscing about their younger days when their libidos and erections were stronger !. Looks like they might be prospective punters to do the next Niagara on Viagra bike tour down the track when the hash finalises those details.

Slug was impressed by yet another GC splinter hash and remarked that they are starting to resemble the infamous Queensland lunches held while hashers tour various parts of the world. He was then told about the origins of the GC splinter hash during the Goa Interhash.

The usual collection for the would be millionaires club (lotto) was done by Circumference with Swindler remarking how refreshing it was to actually get change from his usual contribution.

Seeds, a visitor from Bathurst, up here to steal some of our winter sunshine said was not looking forward to returning to his cold home after such a wonderful week of hash entertainment provide by the GC hash.

Sir Rabbit gave his normal GM speech and encouraged all to attend next month’s splinter preferably in hash Splinter lunch clobber. He has a limited number of collector item maroon T -shirts for sale on a first in basis at a very reasonable price

As the afternoon passed and the accounts were finalised by some clever albeit simple innovation of each hasher settling individually with the restaurant. Plans were made for the after party drinks and the next instalment of splinter lunch during September which will be the Friday before the AFL Grand Final. Here’s hoping for another sunny day and fine fare. Check the website for details next month.

On On

Circumference

Run 1868

Run 1868
Date:19/08/2013
Location: Gilston
Hare: Black Stump

Runners:33
hareFerret

The GM appeared wearing a long floral dress and a Tiara looking like a  transvestite version of a southern baptist gospel called up the circle.

Rug reporting on the run…..  Was pretty good but took me 10 minutes to get out of the driveway.

Flasher said he had stuck with Rectum on the run so proudly anounced he had not short cutted and had a reliable witness to prove it. This has now been named as the “miracle of Gilston” no shortcuting by Flasher.

Sir AH commented that the walk had a been an emotional almost mystical experience for him as stopped for a moments silence at the round a about where Rectum had an attack from aliens who pushed the hash trailer on its side.

The NOSH – Hard On gave the dinner a good wrap and in an extremely generous mood mentioned 9 out of 10. Big Unit said he was just happy to have a home cooked meal.

RETURNERS Testicles, Aussie, and Mother Brown were welcomed back with a DD.

POW. 2 Dogs awarded the prestigious trophy to Flasher for a series of Politically Incorrect emails. You have been put on notice Flasher, keep the emails to Hash Shit.

RA Dressed for the special night of a special Knight Sir Black Stump, the RA came attired as the Grand Wizard of the Klu Klux Klan.

The RA reminded us of THE rules.

#1 Rule of Hash – what happens own tour stays on tour

#2 Rule of Hash – what’s discussed between Hash Bretheren stays in the Hash.

But there is a weak link, a Trojan Horse – Sir Prince Valiant impugning the reputation of the RA by talking outside of the circle with a certain young french female known intimately by both the Prince and the RA. Enough said refer to rules #1 and # 2.

And of course  1 Sir drinks all Sirs drink- welcome to the group Sir Blackie.

DD to the BU for literally having  the biggest torch ever seen at the Hash. It resembled those huge spot lights used by the Germans to spot bombers at 20,000 ft over the Rhine.

A TV reference to cyclists as the cockroaches of the road and MAMILs  – Middle Age Men In Lycra resulted in Caustic Crusader taking a DD for the team.

INDUCTION of Blackie in a fitting ceremony Sword and all that would make Her  Maje proud.

NEXT WEEKS RUN Ferret at Christine Av Burleigh Waters. Park behind the library.

The night was dragging on so Moonbeams shut things down End of Circle!

That’s it see you next week

On On

Blue Card

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Run 1867

Run 1867
Date: 12/08/2013
Location: Surfers Paradise
Hare: Hard On

Runners:33

hareBlack Stump

News Flash: Darwin Don takes Gold at World Master Games

The word was out Hard On as the virgin Hare. A big turn out with 33 hashers.

All gathered at Budds Beach on the banks of the river within walking distance of  la residence of the Hare Hard On and assistant Hares Shat living at Shat O and Kwakka from over the river.

Our esteemed Acting GM aka the RA aka Miscarriage called the circle up. Being a very fair and balanced acting GM volunteered to take a DD from his brand new GLOWING PURPLE sneakers size 22 that would have looked right at home on the Big Unit.

Speaking of Big Unit good to see the BU again particularly as he had a choice of watching porn at Cum Smokes love shack or coming to Hash. Just shows what a real desperate BU must be.

Botcho was called out and given a special thank you for setting up the mobile web site (click the link and save as a book mark on mobile smart phone. Never get lost again, trying to find the run location) and all the other web master magic. The Acting GM gave an undertaking that Botcho will not be given another DD this year. Well Botcho this sounds like ” there will be no carbon tax” so we will see if Now Loved the “real GM ” will honour the commitment.

Sir Slab received a DD for having a dead heat on his bike with a car in front that wouldn’t get out of his way. But that’s not all. Reportedly allegedly was out on a Hashers boat and suggested that 2 young females on board take there tops off up on the bow of the boat. Not illegal but one was a hashers daughter. Sir S totally denies the accusation and is claiming mistaken identity.

All  Sirs got to share a DD Sir Rabbit Sir AH Sir Slab and Sir Prince.

The Hare Hard On was called out and as a virgin Hare he remains intact as he out sourced the trail to Shat. To preserve his virgin Hare status he outsourced the Nosh to Mrs Hard On. To continue the theme he had 14 hashers cooking on the BBQ while he chatted over a large glass of red or two.

Two Dogs in an unkind moment described the run as debacle as he ended up running by himself. Veteran described it as an excellent run. Multiple circles and plenty of arrows. He considered Hard On an excellent manager who had recruited people smarter and more experienced than him to do the work and he could take all the glory. Management 101.

No score given so as scribe after a lot of thinking I have awarded 7.162.

Flasher, Flasher Flasher reported as a serial short cutter.

POW

Truck Tyres donned the uniform and after a bit of waffling passed the award to Two Dogs for leading the pack including him way off trail by taking them overseas to Chevron Island.

RETURNERS

Swindler, Arse Up, Bent Banana, Show Pony and Pile Driver – DD’s

Miscarriage was offended to be called a Hobbit and called out a few other vertically challenged Hashers and then lined them up beside BU.

Ferret had a bitch about members not reading the Hare Line so for those who don’t read the Hare Line. Read it here

See you next week for another Hash Dash.

Blue Card Joke Of The Week

Date Change For Clean Up Australia Day.Please adjust your diaries accordingly

cleanup

 

Run 1866

Run 1866
Date: 5/08/2013
Location: Ashmore
Hare: Sir Rabbit / Josephine
hareHard On

Bent Banana update:
A good turnout with 26 hashes turning up.

About half walkers and half runners but from the observation of the walkers most of the so called runners seemed to be walking.

The RA Miscarriage once again took on the exalted roles of both acting GM and RA..Clearly bored after so many Circles following the same format every week that he once again decided to reverse the normal the normal order of business.

Showing no respect for editorial independence, first up he called out yours truly for referring to him in last weeks Words as being the self appointed GM and presented me with a DD. Seems to think he is Gina Rhineart and can influence the independence of the press.

VD had the pleasure of passing on the POW. He called out the Big Unit (BU) and explained how a woman living below knocked on BU’s door to complain about the noise. Being not guilty he redirected the woman to Come Smokes unit. The woman was most shocked to discover the “noise” coming from Come Smokes unit was a loud audio track on a porn movie.

However in the absence of Come Smoke the award went to Truck Tyres who turned up for a bike ride with 2 flat tyres and has been nominated for a renaming to Flat Tyres.

Botcho aka Botulism got a DD for destroying the economy in the home country last week and causing more of his county men to migrate to OZ.

The RA/GM reminded us that the funeral for Useless was held during the week. He reminisced about how Useless had a broken relationship in Singapore, came down to the Gold Coast for a new life, and became engaged to a lovely lady. It appears she then met another Hasher and married him!  Come on down Sir AH!

Hares Josephine (the run) and Rabbit (the nosh)…..

BU described it as 1 of the best hash runs he has ever been on. Has done 3.

VD said it was OK but most runners seemed to be walking and only pretend runners.

Iceman said the Nosh was OK and he particularly liked the burnt rice taste near the bottom of the pot.

Miscarriage said he enjoyed the raisin toast which was a poor mans Naan and went particularly well with the chicken curry.

Graham a friend of Elvis got a DD for being a visitor. Welcome Graham hope you will come again.

Sir Prince and Sir Rabbit got a DD for reminding the RA about the time he “beached” the Fairlane on a parking island in the very same car park as we were standing. One Sir drinks all Sirs drink……  Come on down Sir AH.

Botcho said he had spoken to Pizza who reportedly misses us all and has been very busy writing the instruction manual on “Laying Bricks”.

Next weeks run will be next Monday night somewhere.

That’s the week that was.

Blue Cards Joke Of The Week

A Guy Walks Into A Bar

Just click here…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub3Cm0V_Z8w

 

July Splinter Lunch

A pleasant sunny winter’s afternoon encouraged hashers to the July 2013 Splinter lunch.

The Royal Peacock on Tedder Avenue was the venue for the lunch. Enough punters for a rugby team were about the numbers. Some dressed up like they were going to somewhere after the lunch especially Truck Tyres looking rather dapper in his white sports jacket.

Carefree joined us on his way home from the cricket at Lords and visiting Prince George and Mum at the Lindo Wing while in the UK.
The first beer of many consumed on the day was from the Burleigh Brewing Company.
After entree papperdams, mains were ordered and naan bread and condiments soon were scattered across the tables in the shade of bottles of wine.
Lots of musical chairs took place as the diners circulated themselves socially during the afternoon. Kitchen Bitch wore a chef’s cap which would not have looked out of place on My Kitchen Rules.
Rug showed his future hash cash economic skills (if and when Blackie ever retires) by collecting more cash then the numbers present for the next big Lotto.
A bar across the road was suggested for after lunch drinks where Cooper’s ales were enjoyed by all. Hashers then made their own plans for the remainder of the afternoon.
Botcho organised travel arrangements for some which was greatly appreciated.
From there on, it was all downhill for Sir Rabbit and Circumference who went to their own after party firstly at Tonic on Chirn for more craft beers and then to Bonus Bros for a Moroccan pizza which after a tandoori lunch made next morning very interersting especially on top of aching heads.