Run:1742
Hare: Elvis
Location: Keith Hunt Park, Labrador
Date:21st March, 2011

Yellow and green “Elvis shirts” only seven bucks …. a gotta have item in any Hash wardrobe.
After some confusion from the traditional early birds Veteran and Shat the pack finally found the venue at the club house for the famous “Gracelands Elvis run of 2011).
On On across the park and over the first water hazard the pack heads off into the darkness of a balmy Autumn night.

Dicky Knee and Sir AH are seen walking as a very close duo (Rule One ????) around the park and back for traditional guard duties and booze sampling.
A great run sees all the pack back close together gathered for a few cold beers happily supported by an esky full of ice cold crownies sponsored by birthday boys Sir Prince and KB. A very tasty nosh follows catered by the clubhouse ladies with a choice of 3 curry dishes with rice and two desserts. A spoil for any Hash group.

8.08 pm Circle in 2 minutes!!!!
CIRCLE … it’s time calls GM Flasher.

Caustic has exerted his powers over hash cash and the run fee is $5 and pay the meal at the counter for $10 it’s a bargain.

HARE ….. Elvis …3 T shirts left!!!!!

Run report… Rug … Very very good >>>>> Well marked too!!!

Veteran ….Well marked … a tad short!!! ( that’s enough of the short comments On sec) No On backs … No tree huggers!!
Old Fart ….. Came in 3 seconds behind GM !!!

NOSH report ….. Cumsmoke back for seconds and thirds having two left over desserts too.

Renamed “Mr Piggy” by the ladies behind the counter Cumsmoke gives the note.
The ladies get the DD for Piggy comments and the worlds slowest DD follows.

“ Why are we waiting, Why are we waiting !! “ follows with three verses.

YELLOW CODE ….. Bent Banana gets it in one “M”
Two dogs gives the note.

Botcho makes note of Pizza’s humble “Step down from GM contention” speech on u tube.

VISITORS …. Barnacle Bill.
R/A is up next.
CHARGES …. Nil

POW … Pizza is in Melbourne …. R/A Cumsmoke is off to a great strart !!!!

Elvis gets charged for the creek crossing debacle. Josephine complains near life threatening experience in flooded creek.

Cumagen is charged for NO red wine in the booze bus and he steps forward to reveal the hair cut to beat all hair cuts … it appears the new office must be next to the year one hairdressing school.
After enormous protest Cumagen finally gets outvoted and takes the DD.

Flasher jumps in with both feet in mouth to ask the Pizza delivery guy who he is looking for … A minor Faux D Pas …. He’s one of us GM …. come from the pack!!
Oops!!

Barnacle Bill gets hit for talking on the phone in Hash and proceeds to the centre of the circle with a lime glow in his left pocket … Guilty as charged ……DD
Sir AH gives a note.

Barnacle Bill gets a second DD … Beer this time and drops it down in one hit.
Point Two report ……… Looking pretty good … waiting on a few more tests

Aussie gives a rendition of a “ Sad tale” of his mater in Melbourne a strong Blues supporter gets offered the last of 26 tickets available for the Gabba match.. Arranges flights accommodation and everything… then the last bit is the tickets ….. WRONG !!!!! NO TICKETS …. WHAT ????? Sorry seems Cumsmoke’s got em … So get F$#@%&!!!!
Fellow Hasher Two Dogs to the rescue with one of his and Aussie’s off the hook.

Cumsmoke goes for “without prejudice” insults and protests without success and Cumagen offers a note ( with pleasure GM)
Dicky Knee has Miss TZ footage going through legal screening with Leach and Leach at the moment … should be available shortly with all funds going to higher definition equipment.

Sir Prince Valiant and KB a called up for DD birthday treats and cake offerings.
GM Flasher calls for ideas for an alternative to the birthday cake.
Stripper was voted No1

SPLINTER LUNCH…. Somewhere in Broadbeach ????
Moonbeams love advise for the week ………. Not such a good idea to (Have to)share the bed with ex and suggest “One for old times sake” the carpet would be a better option.
Not to be outdone Moonbeams Marital services are introducing the new love ( Thentherat)to the EX this week in the view of world harmony…. stay tuned!!!!
8.38PM Dicky Knee calls “END OF CIRCLE”

PS 4 crownies left … disgraceful !!! Only one thing to do Sir Prince … 2 for me and 2 for you !!!

On ON
KB
NOTE AGPU only weeks away … time to start sucking.
Some subtle GM election campaigns are becoming evident since Pizza pulled out of the race.

Run:1741
Hares: Sir Rabbit & Pizza
Location: Chevron Island, Surfers Paradise
Date: 14th March, 2011

Hash Chronicle.
15th March 2011
Election campaigns fail across the nation.
Latest opinion poll results predict a major swing against leaders and leading contenders in upcoming elections.
It became evident today that the election campaigns of prominent candidates have hit the rocks across the nation. PM Julia Gillard has steered the national leadership into troubled waters with her very unpopular carbon tax and previous promises. NSW Premier Christina Kinnearly is facing certain defeat in next week’s state election following the sell -off of state assets at bargain prices the Morgan gallop polls disclosed today.

However the most significant collapse from contention in the hotly contested position of Grand Master GCHHH has undoubted been Pizza. After an extensive campaign over a number of years this Italian immigrant from humble beginnings was overcoming his reputation of a loud mouthed beer swilling non conformist, with his charismatic ways even overcoming his speech impediment and occasional naked foray. A couple more years may have even seen the “ Pizza never for GM party “ abandoned. However latest reports in from AAPT indicate the weaknesses in the campaign have been revealed when Mr Pizza has attempted to show his GM capabilities ………. The debacle that followed can only go into Hash records showing there is a considerable amount of work to be done by this candidate before he can be regarded as a serious contender if at all.
Run committee sacks hare.

The recent sacking of co-hare Pizza from run duties for 12 months has come as no surprise to the experienced campaigners in GCHHH. It would appear Co-hare Sir Rabbit has denied “ALL KNOWLEDGE and responsibility “ for the run trail ( or lack of it) last Monday night. Pizza appears to have been given notice that Nosh is now the only option and that too must reach higher levels.
GCHHH Pack lost at first mark.

A world record request has been submitted by the secretary of GCHHH for the fastest loss of the hash pack in living memory. The latest statistics prove beyond all doubt that the entire pack of 31 runners was completely lost within 1.7 minutes of starting the run. It was only the powers of elimination and some inside knowledge that lead the pack to the designated drink stop with not ONE arrow within 1.2 Kilometers. Will keep you posted.
Possible food poisoning from St Patrick’s day beer.

An enquiry is being held as to the state of the “green mass” served to the Hash pack at a recent function… It would appear there is some question as to the substance being green dye or MOULD. Numerous members of GCHHH were seen to mimic mouthwash antics with the first serving of the green substance, followed by humble attempts to consume the liquid without success. The Italian brewer of the liquid was seen to put on a brave face saying “ wotafucksrongwithyoos its buuuuuuutifool!!
Sir Rabbit’s cottage pie and mushy peas a great success.

Just one serving left over and Sir Rabbit was delighted with the compliments from the pack on his cottage pie and peas with crusty rolls. Followed by Pizza Italian mint gelato ice cream the nosh was very well received by all.

Circle in 2 minutes !!!!!
GM Flasher calls … Circle!!!!
Run report …. Josephine.

Only saw two arrows all night and one was the one Pizza drew on the top of his ute!!!!!
Shat ……Well marked … take my (st Patrick’s) hat off to you ???????
Nosh report ……. Two dogs.
First time Sir Rabbit has had sweets in 30 years!!!!
Rockhard…. Tasted like toothpaste!!!
Croc .. Overall …..One fantastic fkcu up!!!
Aussie gives a note !!!! Welcome back GM ( Suk)
Pizza shut up!!!
Pizza SHUT UP !!!!!

Visitors… Billy Graham ( Free bibles from Hash cash)

Yellow code.
Veteran … no idea.
Sir Slab …. no idea.
Two Dogs ……. couldn’t find it !!
Jigsaw … no idea
Sir Rabbit … looked for hours!!!

GM Flasher says “R “ you slack arses……… WRONG

Botcho has a rare stuff up .. there was NO secret letter !!!!!!!!!!
Sir Slab offers a note.

Special mention RETURNING RUNNER …. Quacker is back from his last run in 1978

SPECIAL NOTICE ……..
Point Two has had a minor stroke or the like , Two Dogs is staying in touch and Point Two seems OK will stay in touch.

R/A Cumsmoke
First charge is Flasher for his new Jarmie coat Hmmmmmmmmm ( First rule???)
Charges … Caustic attempts to re-name Rainbow to CHIP after a golf course altercation with a flying 3 iron takes out part of Rainbow’s two front teeth…….. Overruled and Caustic gets the DD.
Circumference gets charged with “ Vexatious litigation” by the R/A …. ( Big words … hope it’s a LOT of money as we all share in it !!!!)
POW …. Swollen

After being lost (as we all were) in Orchid Ave with no money, poor Swollen thought he may have to sell his body to get the cab fare home.
The POW goes to the obvious choice …. EX GM candidate PIZZA.
Swollen gives a note.

A SERIES OF VERY POOR JOKES on many subjects FOLLOWED …. none of which are worth repeating!!!
Pizza finally gets one in about eskys with ice cream and chicken that just made the grade.

Finally Miscarriage comes out of his shell and charges the “secret men’s society “ … The brotherhood on keeping insider trading information to themselves.
Sir Prince, Rockhard are charged with not sharing the inside info on the “public listing of a company “ that went from $20 per share to $2 Hmmmmmmmmm
Other news is Miscarriage’s twin has had a life sentence handed down for misbehaviour and may never be seen again…. ( there is always the right of parole)
Pizza gives back Miscarriage’s keys after he walked home and Miscarriage gives a note.

Irish attire is noted as missing from the trail master’s garb so another DD follows for good measure . Thanks are given to Bob Brown for tonight’s theme.

Next week’s run ….. Elvis T Shirt run at the hockey club.

9.20PM and Moonbeams is back so he “closes the circle” on what has got to be the greatest fuck up in Hash History!!!!

BUT!!! …. a belly full of laughs!!!!

On On
KB.

Run: 1740
Hare: Veteran
Location: Len Fox Park, Labrador
Date: 7th March, 2011

NEXT WEEK’S RUN WILL START FROM CHARIS BROS ON THE ESPLANADE ………. WRONG VETERAN !!!
The Charis corner is a victim of the Gold Coast light rail and 12 months of road works rolled in for good measure ……. negotiating these obstacles would simply be too much for our aging Hash pack!!!
NEW VENUE …. Fox Park opposite the Latrine home for wayward backpackers.
Off onto a trail TOTALLY on chalk (Pavement) goes the pack of twenty one hashers just as the R/A’s divine powers fail totally…. pissing rain the hare announces “get going before it gets washed away “ On On >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Through the back blocks of down town Labrador ( seems that’s the sixth time I’ve written that this year. On sec) the pack trek the pavement looking for washed out white chalk and Old Fart stays on trail all the way. The pack gets back along with the SCB walkers about the same time……. Old Fart brings up the rear just in time to discover the R/A standing in for GM and the pack on for Guinness book of records “Earliest finish” …. Poor Old Fart gets the dregs of the curry and rice once again…. Caustic votes for a serving of nosh to held over for last runners before seconds are allowed ( Gets my vote. On sec).
7.50 PM …….. Circle is called …. stopwatch is started………. record attempt is underway.
HARE report.
Run .. Old Fart .. Thanks for starting without me !!!! Well marked !!!
Nosh …… Point Two … Very tasty!! What can I say … 5.5/10
Point Two gives a note.
RETURNING RUNNERS ……..
Sir Prince
Sir Slab
Swollen Colon
VD
Now Loved.
The group had been Nash Hashing and travelling far and wide.
VD hosted the gathering at the VD Mansion Tassie’s second castle.
Voted as an “Excellent host” by all.
Latrine stories of Taxi directions and Rock and Roll dancing continue to amuse the pack.
Sir Slab tells the story of “Vasso” old member off to lunch with the “New partner” an accomplished lap dancer of some repute it appears…. seems the lap dancing aroused old Vasso sooooooooo much they found a need to consummate their arousal in the executive suite in the local house of disrepute >>>>>>>>>
A forceful eviction of Vasso and bride ensued.
VD …… Commented on the Harriette’s flight back to Melbourne ……….Not one scoring over 3/10 seems VD is VERY happy to be a Hasher NOT a Harriette. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm !!
Sir Prince charged Sir Slab for fridge fukc ups at 3.30 am sending off the alarm ( Great to see the Sirs sticking together)
Swollen been to WA via Nullarbor Plains …… found the road very hilly and twisting it seems???????
Sir prince finished up with an excellent rendition of the Nash Hash Sunday Session ………
Vivid tales of the DD competition with Latrine into the finals topping off his entry with mounting the first spewer and the ultimate finally sculling the spew bucket in one hit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POW Circumference……………
Had two serious contenders.
1. R/A Cumsmoke with NO hash clobber.
2. Our member at AFL training at Centre point gym ….. seems our member had a low centre of gravity and collapsed off the medicine ball onto the floor cracking his skull and opening a flowing gash in his scalp………….. Swollen Colon gets the POW !!!!!! ( How can you do so much damage from such a low height ??? On Sec)
The R/A calls for the ICE ……….. KB and Caustic are on the ice for R/A abuse relating to his absolute and TOTAL failure to keep the rain off the run. A joint icing in the bucket follows.
Croc charges the hare for NOT ONE international marking on the run…… Veteran responded with his second controversial comment in two weeks ……… Call the bloody on backs you lot !!!!
Sir Prince gave a summary of the photographic course available at Gash Hash in (the map of) Tassie.
Swollen reported Mrs Swollen’s Thanks for support for her heart foundation fundraising quest.
Next event in this campaign ………. at Centrepoint Gym … ( A payoff to Swollen rather than a WPHS claim) See Swollen for details.
NEXT WEEK’S RUN … Pizza and Sir Rabbit ….. Chevron Island West side … Drink stop guaranteed….. (Put you bid in for the “secret drink stop location prize) It’s Snt Patrick’s day so wear your IRISH gear!!!!
Show Pony calls “END OF CIRCLE “””” A world record claim is submitted at 8.16 PM

Hashers are seen wandering aimlessly around the park muttering “what the F&%$ do we do now!!!!

On On

KB.