Run: 1957

Date: 4/5//2015

Location: Carrara

Hares: The Sirs

Runners: 39

Run 1957 – The Sirs Run. Gold Coast Hash Birthday. It all started just around the corner from tonight’s location, way back in 1978.

The #1 run venue has long gone.  Surfers Paradise raceway

The Sirs Run…it was always going to be a special one, wasn’t it? All of us had fond memories of last year’s Sirs Run from Sir Rabbit’s house and the delectable (no, I am not kidding!) English sausages that he provided. Apparently, and tragically, I am assured by Sir Rabbit that they are no longer available.

Tonight’s run started with the hash trailer having to be expertly manoeuvred through the gap in the fence and into the park off Hickey Road at Carrara. There were millimetres to spare and as yours truly was at the back of the trailer, pushing on it so it didn’t roll down the hill at breakneck speed, several other hashers were at the other end pushing it down the hill!! Nearly a hash debacle with yours truly almost squashed under the trailer.

The troops gathered and Sir AH proceeded to put up a giant galvanised pipe flagpole, strapping it to the lightpole above the barbeque area and shorting out the light in the process! Luckily we are totally self sufficient for power with the hash trailer.

When the trailer flaps were put up we all looked on with astonishment at the sight of the new tables and chairs. Gone were the crappy black chairs that were all falling apart, all replaced with beautiful new red padded chairs and mould-free tables!!

The RUN:

A record number of runners set off for a run that had been set by Sir Slab, who swept the trail on his mountain bike, ensuring that we did not stray too far off course. As there had been about half a metre of rain over the weekend, we knew we were in for it in terms of mud and other shiggy. We were not disappointed and the run went through some quite treacherous territory, but luckily no mishaps by Miscarriage or other runners. All got back safe and sound, albeit a little soggy and muddy, but all agreed it had been a great run. Two Dogs and yours truly clocked it at 6.5km. Sir Blackie must have found the run boring because he engaged in frivolous shenanigans, including stomping past runners in the muddy bits, throwing up mud and slush all over us and on several occasions also trying to shove runners in order to throw them off balance and fall into the mud. Luckily nobody succumbed to these vile tactics!!

There were a record number of runners tonight, approximately 20!! Congratulations guys and nice to see the less than frequent runners such as Arseup, Cumsmoke, Pile Driver, Latrine and Seedy running with us tonight

A last comment about the run was that it kept the runners together, including, unbelievably…Flasher!! At one stage we all thought we must have been off trail and on one of Flasher’s wild goose chases as he stayed with us all the way!

The walkers all complained that Shat had gotten them totally lost in the backblocks of Carrara, at one stage being heard to mutter the words “Errr…I think I’ve got the map upside down!!”. Four hardy souls apparently did the full walk…hmmm…so 4 walkers plus 20 runners equals 24…take that away from the 39 attendees tonight and that makes 15 others who probably just hung around and drank all of our red wine!!

The NOSH:

The sirs did NOT disappoint…starters were some lovely spring rolls and dumplings, all fried to perfection in the hash woks. Sir AH walked around serving everybody and making sure we all got some of the goodies. Main course was a lovely Thai style chicken curry with vegetables and bamboo shoots and with rice cooked to perfection, although somebody had the audacity to complain that it was “gluggy”…don’t listen to them Sir Rabbit..it was great!…as were your sausages last year! Latrine was effusive in his praise of the Nosh…what a gentleman! Sir AH excelled himself in the preparation of desserts…lovely jelly and fruit cups topped with flavoured yoghurt…and Mrs Charmer enjoyed some of the left overs that I took home to her!

The CIRCLE:

First things first….Weekly was called out and immediately iced for telling the GM to fuck off! Argument ensued for several minutes as to why Weekly considered it necessary to have uttered those words but this won him no favour and the ice it was! Visitors and returning runners were welcomed and the GM was showered with gifts, however undeserving and unappreciative he may have been!

The GM announced that due to the black hole in hash finances now being so huge due to the purchase of the new hash furniture, the Paris trip for the hierarchy is now cancelled.

Congratulations were given to all the Sirs on their great run and nosh…well deserved it was too!

Returning runners this week are Flasher, Pile Driver, Seedy and Miscarriage. Visitors are son and step-son of Sir Prince and their friend Matthew from the UK. Welcome guys and a well deserved down-down for bringing our average age down considerably.

Mme Latrine was called out to the front and castigated by the RA for his antics at the Splinter Lunch, essentially draining everybody else’s bottles of wine! The icing that he received was however not for that but for his deviant act in seat-sniffing…those of you who are interested can obtain more details from the RA at your leisure…the details should not go into print lest they offend some of our non-hash readers!

Truckie was, as usual called out to the front and iced, this time for sending a stupid email to Missing Link about the car rally. It is in the carpark of Outback Australia that we are meeting, is that perfectly clear Truckie??

P.O.W passed from Iceman to Flasher this week, for the offence of breaching carpooling protocols. The Useless shirt has gone walkabout with none of us having any idea who has it!!

Moonbeams performed his usual duty at the END OF CIRCLE. (He actually tried to do it about half an hour before circle closed!)

I think that is all I can think of this week…

Signing off for now…

Fanny Charmer

Substitute to the Substitute to the Hash Scribe

Date: Sunday 26th April, 2015

Location: Sir Slab’s Pad. Mermaid Waters.

Great Company

Bike ride

Refreshments

Nibbles

Danny Boy

Poetry

Remembrance

Food

more refreshments

Home

Pictures

 

 

Run: 1954

Date:13/04/2015

Location: Ashmore

Hare: Aussie

Runners: 33

Sir Prince Valiant recruits new member

Sir Prince has just announced that he has start a new running group. He can’t believe the response he has had after posting a picture of his first new recruit.                                                 Number One Locker Holder

Statistics released from The United Nations  reveal that:

Australian, Canadian, UK and US men between 50 and 75 years of age will, on average, have sex two to three times per week, whereas Japanese men, in the same age group, will have sex only once or twice per year.

This is very upsetting news to most of my friends, as they had no idea they were Japanese.

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Tonight’s run commenced from  Eastern end car park outside Aquinas College on Turnbull Drive near Edmund Rice Drive (that description came from Aussie himself, our hare for tonight) and at this point I am very tempted to wrap up my report with the words “we came, we ran, we ate, we mucked around in circle, we fucked off home” and wish you all a good night!!!! You may well ask why this thought came to mind…..and the answer is that I am sure you will all be heartily sick of my fellow stand-in scribe’s rantings and ravings in previous run reports. Ballpoint, my fellow stand-in scribe, for whom I have a good deal of respect as an experienced hashman, surely does like the feeling of seeing copious amounts of his own words on screen!! I shall endeavour to not do the same this week.

The theme of the run:

Clearly the majority of our hash is illiterate or simply don’t give a fuck for protocols…a mere handful of us wore jerseys representing our favorite teams of whatever persuasion. Yours truly wore his 2010 Spanish soccer world cup winners’ jersey…the real McCoy mind you and deservedly did take out the prize for the best team outfit…and as a reward received a re-gifted bottle of “wine” given to the GM by a hashman whose identity now escapes me…might it have been Caustic who brought it over from South Africa…all I can say is nice fuckin’ water…prick!! Very bloody funny!!…but it’s what I have come to now expect from the Hash.

The Run:

A nice run with a bit of street, a bit of park, a scramble up a gravel-encrusted hill, some shiggy through shitty-smelling swamp water and generally being well marked with chalk, toilet paper and flour. Given that it was in the middle of Southport/Ashmore, not a bad effort at all Aussie! The run measured in at about 6.2km according to my mate Strava and Two Dogs’ techno-watch.

The Nosh:

Another great effort Aussie…you are certainly in the running for nosh of the year! The entrée consisted of chicken wings which were quickly devoured by all and sundry and the main meal…oh, the main meal…this is what the Gourmet Hash is all about…the most succulent lamb (or was it beef) that I have tasted in a long time, served up with lovely mash and peas. Dessert consisted of some nice “off the shelf” black forest cheese cake…at first it looked like a typical Hash debacle with the tops of the cakes burnt to a crisp but it turns out that this is how they are supposed to look!

The mystery grog:

Nobody owned up to the generous donation of the four or so mystery bottles of wine that miraculously appeared on our table, but to whomever was the generous benefactor, thanks heaps. I really enjoyed several glasses of the Boronia marsala. Can’t go wrong with that stuff!!

Circle:

Tonight was a big welcome back to several runners whom we haven’t seen for quite a while. Swollen Colon surprisingly running out of his own postcode…it’s a long way from 4217 to 4215! Cumsmoke also put in an appearance, Caustic made it back safely from RSA but rumour has it that he’s married Ms South Africa and she’s up the duff…don’t know if there’s any truth in that one. Two dogs and several of the other NZ travellers made an appearance tonight as did other wandering minstrels like Nasty and Slug…but where the hell has Truckie disappeared to??? Two Dogs brought back an ideal gift for GM…an excessively long willie warmer. Shat presented the GM with some stolen merchandise from a NZ pub…a Guiness hat.

Icings a plenty tonight…you can tell that Caustic is back as RA..Miscarriage was on there, Jigsaw was on there…and was Sir Prince? I cannot remember now, but I do know that he and Carefree were called to the front for talking in the lines.

That’s about all for this run…I hope that you all enjoy the relative brevity of words.

Fanny Charmer,

 

Substitute to the Substitute to the Hash Scribe

Run: 1953

Date:6/04/2015

Location: Miami

Hares: Circumference

Runners: 26

Gold Coast Gourmet Hash

The Hash House Harriers was formed at the Selangor Club Chambers in Malaya in 1937/38 by E.J Galvin, Malay Mail, H.M Doig, A.S Gispert and Cecil H. Lee. Rumor has it that Gispert was the real ideas man who created the Hash and was also a Walker and a Bike rider. The tradition continue today with this group of GCHHH athletes who recently celebrated St Patrick Day in Dunedin NZ.

 

Video on how the GCHHH live when away from home

 

1. Botcho advised that soon all GCHHH would be able to travel after the 2 recent big wins in the Lottery. This week he is planning that we will win the big $25Million

2. Sir Rabbit defies all odds after hospitalization over Easter. He joins the Monday night run in the hopes the run activity will help him pass his kidney stone.

Run 1953 with Circumference at early start time of 5pm

Video of Run start by Circumference at Mick Schamburg Park Miami

Video on how the Circumferecne run

 

Promoted by Circumference as the Beach Run and Trailer Nosh of the year.

Will the beachside run save Circumference ’s as his ast run was noted as worst Run of the Year.

Location was looking good as the eye candy passed by in large numbers . Slug was heard to comment . “Who cares about running, lets just hang here and have a few beers!”

A group of 26 dedicated athletes circled around Circumference for pre-run briefing who promptly told the walkers to go that way while runners were to follow him.

With that Circumference sent the runners on their way at 5.16 pm with words “ you wont miss this trail and its a great run and there is a drink stop with free beer”

After last few weeks of the so called Best Run of the Year followed by the so called Best Trailer Nosh of the Year that in fact were total debacles this was looking a very good opportunity for Circumference to redeem himself.

The Run

Circumference commented that he had spent considerable effort in setting this well-marked Beachside Run. We guess he has the experience so it was expected to be a good run.

The only relevant clue was the final information that Circumference would be waiting somewhere standing at the drink stop.Good work Circumference to keep these bastards honest!!

Very quickly runners moved forward but all going in different directions.

Flasher the way led, with Miscarriage ,Brewtus, Bent Banana, Sir Black Stump and Botcho as leading the runners up the road. Circumference’s run was all looking very good with zero bush, zero mud and zero rough terrain!! There was to be no bitumen road on this run.Yeah !!!

Iceman , Sir Slab, Rug , Sir Prince Valient and Missing Link were in full flight up the road with Jigsaw. Waiting at the drink stop was Circumference to make sure each hashman went the right way ..well done Circumference for your assistance but it appears only 2 runners found your free beer drink stop .

The first runners back via the correct trail down the hill to the trailer was Flasher followed by Ferrett who went in the opposite direction.

Sir Black Stump and Miscarriage 2^nd, Bent Banana 3^rd with Botcho and close by Ballpoint.

Reported run time of 41.05 minutes..Run distance 5.1 km. Area covered 25 sq KM with an average pace of 8.06 min /km ..Well done runners.

It appears that Sir Rabbitt decided to walk this week in the hope that his kidney stone would pass with the exercise.

Run Critic Brewtus noted “ Best Run of the year so far”. Hare Circumference put in a lot of effort and experience for this run provided a free beer drink stop that only 2 runners were able to find.

Miscarriage reported that he was forced to run into the sun with “no hat ,no sunglasses and no block out.”

Flasher also got in on the act and commented “Amazing how he found new territory after all the runs from here” ..

Rug not to be left out “concurred”

Great effort Circumference for an excellent Beachside Run.

The WOBBLY Walkers

As always a big group of wobbly walkers lined up on the pathway more interested in the eye candy than the walk .As the walking group is getting slower and most of these geriatics in the past weeks have made little effort to move away from the Nosh and Booze area but tonight it was different. The excitement and smell so much nearby bush got them going quickly along the pathway.

Again we see those ex runners, Sir Rabbit , Rockhard, this week joined with Slug to the ranks of the dedicated professional walkers. It seems that they are they now permanent walkers with Kwakka, Nasty , Weekly ,Carefree ,Swindler and Hard On

Weekly showed no pain as he too raced around trying to get the trailer opened with help from Sir Slab so that cold beer would be on tap when the runners got back..anything to save an icing.

The dedicated professional walkers, with Explet returning runner with Hard On , Weekly, Slug & Swindler all moved out a brisk pace along the pathway which they kept up the good pace for the 3 km walk.

Back to the safety of the trailer the walkers enjoyed a cold well deserved beer with Carefree the first to indulge. Walking is really hard work.

The Nosh

For the Hare Circumference it was always going to be a hard act to follow recent effort that at this stage each have been voted “The Best Trailer Nosh of the Year?” As promised by the GM Kitchen Bitch the hash in now truly back into gourmet.

With hygiene totally forgotten as the nosh chef Circumference proceeded to handle all the food with his so called dirty little spotless hands assisted by Jigsaw!!

Portioned controlled to perfection so no waste it was Sir Prince who took control of the knife to slice the Black Angus steaks.

 

GM Kitchen Bitch seems very happy with the results as he food tested the Nosh to make sure it was safe for the Hashers to eat!!.so very thoughtful.

 

Satay beef cooked to perfection

Aged Black Angus Steaks

 

 

 

Salads make to a recipe not a price

 

Drumsticks presented in fine silver paper

Resident food CriTic Hard On Who had 2 helping of steak OBVIOUSLY appreciated the food:

…………“Great Steaks and Salads food and at last back to high quality Hash basics”

 

Well done CIRCUMFERENCE FOR providing the NOSH WITH NO outsourcin except for assistance BY GM, Sir Prince and Jigsaw. a Great effort that helped to make this ANOTHER REAL hash night of true HASH nosh in a great location in the BUSH.

 

The Beachside CIRCLE

The GM appeared in Katmandu Hat, Hash Chains and with his trademark Moses Staff. He advised all that the mystery acting RA would be Sir Prince Valiant due to absence of Caustic who is on a hunting expedition in South Africa.

The GM immediately asked all the returning runners to the circle

Flasher commented “this bunch of idiots lining up claiming to be runners and no FuC#@%* gifts for GM”

DD to:

• Circumference for the Hare and excellent quality Nosh
• Returning Runners Kwakka, Jigsaw, Sir Slab ,Hard On , Missing Link ,Rockhard and Swindler
• Missing Link for his expedition to Sri Lanka for 1 month
• Visitor and as returning runner Exelpet who was last seen as our Booze Master
• Sir Rabbit presented doctors certificate to save himself an icing as his kidney stone is still moving out
• Nasty ,Swindler and Flasher for going away next week
• Brewtus for laughing in the circle
• Ferrett for his comments to GM

Useless Shirt

Yes…still with Truck Tyres who is once again smelling the roses in Tenterfield.

Where is the Prick of the Week?

The last recipient of this prized possession was Aussie and is still with him?

Hopefully will be there next week ??

Gift for GM

Once again with tears in his eyes saying “the best gift so far this year” the GM accepted an amazing gift and thoughtful gift from Jigsaw. This highly prized possession of a baby chicken laying an egg was handed over to the GM who immediately hung it on his Moses Staff with all the other crap that hangs from it . Well done Jigsaw for a thoughtful gift.

 

GM Report

GM advised next week run will be by Aussie!! Our GM has personally promised to assist to ensure that this event would have first class Nosh

 

End of CIRCLE …….by FERRETT @ 8.30 pm

 

 

Swindler

 

 

Runners: 26